Dating thread 184! Where we don't take any nonsense !

[bangheadhere40]

The Rules: 1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin. 3. Do not invest emotionally too soon. 4. It's all BS until it actually happens. 5. Trust your gut instinct. 6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault. 7. Know your worth. 8. If it's not fun, stop. 9. Loo update is mandatory. 10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy. Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps click here ** Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@bangheadhere40 I've always been a 3 date girl. Although it was longer with Mr B as he wanted to wait until I could spend the whole night. If I date again I think I'd wait longer until I'm clearer on where we are going.

Being aware of the hormones is helpful. It helps me not get carried away the day after.

I think they last for as long as there is any doubt on commitment. So you would still get the rush of hormones but maybe enjoy them more if you know you are both firmly on the same page.

My own rule about sex is I only have it if I'm comfortable it's because I want to. And not because I'm expecting it to change anything. (Hormone rush aside).

On another note how on earth do you share a bed and NOT have sex?!

@Notcoolmum ha! My thoughts too! One thing always seems to lead to another with me.

I'm hoping I see Mr Confident this weekend. I'm so unused to dating though I'm not sure what we are, if we are heading anywhere or what I even want. Its tricky.

Reading through your posts @pomegranatefizz Mr Repeat has left you feeling anxious about his level of communication before?

To whoever asked if we speak to our irons everyday for me the answer is yes. I like a good morning and goodnight text and a bit of messaging throughout the day. Mr B would like more phone calls I think.

@Notcoolmum - that's a good analogy, if I do, I won't expect anything to change. I don't think I will though, I would rather wait, but at the same time don't want to give the impression of not being interested. The best thing would be for me to address it with him and have a conversation about sex with him, not sure I know him well enough for that yet though.

Ha - I don't know! I had had a good few drinks as well, we were kissing etc and then I just kind of stopped, cuddled him and went to sleep. He didn't seem to push anything ( literally ;-) )

@Jane1978xx
I need a cold shower or 2 as well 😂

Mines not as long as yours though

We don’t send naughty photos or anything when apart but we do flirt over FaceTime and text a fair bit

Something happens to us both when we touch each other (well he gets a boner) like a spark, where we are a bit PDA and want to always be touching each other. So we are always in some kind of cuddle hug. This is why we end up having sex so much as the cuddle hug just makes us horny. Even just him looking at me and kissing me makes me turn into a puddle. I have had moments where he has got out of a car to walk over to me and I have internally swooned

BUT it’s a very addictive feeling a bit hedonistic and self indulgent ‘lying in each other’s arms staring into each other’s eyes’ and I don’t know what real life will do to us if this goes somewhere. Either bicker a lot then make up with sex all the time instead of talking (I think he is more like this than me) or whether we will burn ourselves out on the hormones very quickly. We talk about making the most of the sex before we both have headaches but I’ve never been quite this sexually into someone before - it’s terrifying!

I do talk to him most days yes. He calls me way more than I call him.

So this morning I decided to call him for once, and he was tired and grumpy and I was annoyed I bothered calling him!

So I got off the phone and went to work and now he is grafting his way back in by sending me memes and links to songs and other random items

I find that depending on what is happening in the rest of my life I can fluctuate easily from desperately seeking Mr Right to being happy with casual fun. It's not the easiest mindset to deal with as ultimately it leads to conflicting thoughts about what I am doing. I was faithful and committed to my late DH from the day I met him until his death. I always think that that is what I will be again when I find the right person. But in the few years since he died I have also (re)discovered how wonderful sex and fun can be. I have felt wanted, attractive, naughty and desirable. And while the balance tips in favour of meeting guys and having sexy fun if I choose to then I will carry on. It doesn't mean that I am not still deep down hoping for one extra special guy who captures my heart and imagination again.

@Dancerinthemoonlight hope your down by now, and it all goes well so you don’t feel too rough after, are you home today or needing to stay overnight?

@bangheadhere40 I don’t know how you share a bed and not have sex either!!

I didn’t meet mr poser yesterday it was just too full on, but we had a really nice chat last night instead and he’s backed way off and is being really lovely, my heads all over the place, I don’t know if I simply don’t know what I want or I’m scared and not ready for stuff, but I’ve good support and I’ll figure it out in time.

Just had a text. Asking me why I'm quiet and if there is something troubling me.....

I get more attracted the more I know someone I think ( not just physical part ), so it wasn't that difficult!

@clovertoast.....this is an opportunity to say what is bothering you! He is obviously oblivious, how you word it though, I'm not too sure.....

@Clovertoast classic. So he's changed his communication pattern and is now putting it onto you?

@Clovertoast

How are you keeping calm! I would take this invitation to blow my best sarcasm onto him or something

@Clovertoast I would just reply with "sorry, who's this?"

Or

‘Who dis’

I'm thinking about how to word things. He must realise his communication has dropped off !! He was clearly waiting for me to text? Hes been ill in bed since I left apparently. Still in pain etc. Meh.....

Sorry you clearly broke him after a night of passion? Did his hands and eyes stop working or just because it’s nearly Friday night?

@Menora I know !!!!!! Indeed

@Jane1978xx I don’t feel like they go away! For me, once I’ve slept with someone I feel like the hormones rewire my brain and how I think and feel about them. Or rather, the hormones make me ignore red flags. It’s why I’m really wary of sleeping with someone too soon!

I don’t seem to get it too bad, in fact my usual stance is to sleep with them and then pick 10000 holes in every thing they do and find them horribly irritating then get the ick 😂

@Treesinthewind I don’t remember feeling like this before but it’s been so long. And my ex h and my bf before that I moved in with them within weeks so things became routine

@Jane1978xx It’s never gone away for me, but then again Ex and I only made it to two years, but when we ended up being FWB it was the same.

@bangheadhere40 Would you be happy doing other fun things in bed that aren’t actual sex? It’s what I do and it works fairly well for me. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Or you could try and break my four month world record 😂

@clover what did you say in the end?

I agree with @trees re everything changes and @simon challenge accepted! I'm going to go for 4+ months!

@Stuckinarut79 I went down at 2:30 and woke up at 4:10. Going home soon, thankfully no overnight stay this time.

Thank you everyone for the well wishes today. Let's hope 5th surgery is the charm

Maybe I might @simon. I'm so flippin aware how bad things can be that I'm probably too guarded with him, I'm definitely not going to sleep with him, I will try and discuss it with him if i don't chicken out 😂