Dating thread 184! Where we don't take any nonsense !

[bangheadhere40]

The Rules: 1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin. 3. Do not invest emotionally too soon. 4. It's all BS until it actually happens. 5. Trust your gut instinct. 6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault. 7. Know your worth. 8. If it's not fun, stop. 9. Loo update is mandatory. 10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy. Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps click here ** Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Maybe it's who you swipe on then @crazycatlady remember men swipe right a more more than women. And don't feel bad about cutting off a conversation if it's going nowhere for you.

I'm in a bad mood now anyway about it.....

Just basic politeness, that if it's happening now will just get worse. He's booked a meal for later, gave him rough times I could set off but I want a message asking etc...stubborn too!

Haha. I think we are quite alike @bangheadhere40

I don't know what to do!

@bangheadhere40, has he messaged ? How was it left with him? What kind of time do you think he is expecting you ? I don't like playing games so as you have already met him and presumably chatted to arrange this date I can't see anything wrong in you calling him.

Half way through typing a reply and he messaged! Saying he hopes the drive will be okay and asking how I am!

That's fine....

I don't want to play games, but need to know he is bothered.

Says he's looking forward to seeing me...

Feel silly now!

He's probably rushing round tidying up, didn't have time to text 😂
Honestly imo if you've arranged to go out for dinner, agreed a rough time to leave and get there, you weren't seriously contemplating not going until he'd texted to wish you a safe journey???

@ant I would have gone in the end, wouldn't have stood him up! I would like him to check when I'm setting off though or similar...😂

Glad to hear it, yes it's nice of him to check in with you, but I worried you were seriously contemplating screwing up your weekend for the sake of a text 😉
Sometimes people are busy, sometimes the best of intentions can be waylaid.

Glad the op went well Dance

Now you can stop being a wally Bang 😂

Mr M is currently napping on my sofa. We went out to a sports event thing today I was so slow but he came back to help me 😂
then we bathed Ddog and he did a small DIY job for me. Going to some party tonight. Is feeling like it’s moving into RS territory although shagging is still featuring a lot

I hope everyone who has dates this weekend has fun!

With my insecurities that text would be very important to me to make me feel I was still wanted. Glad he sent it.

No dates for me this weekend. I haven't checked my OLD in a week. I'm gonna see how things go with current iron although I do not have any expectations. Enjoying it though.

Enjoy all your dates everyone!

@bangheadhere40, glad the text came. Have a fantastic time.

Mr Photography seems to be asking me if I want to go over every day at the moment. Already had half plans with my friend this evening so have put Mr Photography off until tomorrow. He's pretty chilled about stuff. I think we are both enjoying the physical side of things and like what we know of each other so far. Only met him 2 weeks ago and already seen him 5 times. No massive expectations on either side I think but each time I see him it naturally builds more of a connection. Difficult to juggle the one or two other irons I have when I have already moved onto the physical with him. If only things were straightforward!

@Eesha
I have the same view point as @Sunshineandflipflops.
My husband had numerous emotional affairs throughout our 17 year marriage, I put up and shut up because he threatened to kill himself if I left so I stayed until DD was older.

His reason for these EA's was that he wanted attention, and it boosted his self esteem.
He says I gave him enough attention and I was the perfect wife but he wanted more.
Am I to blame for his EA's?

If someone thought less of me because of what my husband did then they werent right for me either in dating or friendship.

Even though my marriage was crap, emotionally abusive all the time I never dreamed of having an affair because I took my vows seriously even though my husband didnt.

Being in a crap marriage is still not an excuse to have an affair and no one deserves to be cheated on.

Apparently I was supposed to just continue to ignore his EA's because he could never have left me for another woman!!

Loo update.

I'm not sure what is wrong with me tonight. Turned up at his house, it's huge and has a frickin sauna in it so felt a bit inferior.

Now out and met up with his friends who I feel a bit awkward around, wasn't planned but they were in the pub so joined them. I can't understand a word they are saying!

He's done nothing wrong, I'm just in a bad mood I think.

@bangheadhere40, hopefully after a couple of drinks you will relax. You are probably feeling a bit swamped. You've barely had chance to get to know him and now you are having to factor in meeting his friends too. Hopefully once it's just you and him again you can relax and enjoy his company fully.

I’d struggle with that as well @bangheadhere40 it’s early days and you were looking forward to getting to know him more not deal with friends - but I struggle in groups of new people! Hopefully you can relax and think of it as a good insight into who is.

@TigerDater

Hi Cassettes! Yes, it was completely out the blue. Thursday last week he popped round to help her with some plumbing and stayed for a long... I was told she wanted him to just go so she could talk to me and that he had made some inappropriate comments when they were hugging, which made her uncomfortable. However they agreed to go and help their son move at the weekend.

Next thing I know is that she never answered her phone all night and I finally got hold of her at 8am Sunday morning and I asked her outright if she had slept with him and she said she had.

We have spoken on and off this week, for me to try to get an explanation and also to "try to be friends" (her idea), but she had dinner with her ex on Friday night and as far as I can tell, she is still at his, as she takes ages to reply to my messages. I am just trying to get my stuff back that is at the house and then I need to cut contact because it's ripping my heart out.

@Notcoolmum sorry wasn't intending to trivialise what you and bang were saying about the text, it was just I know what I'd be doing if a woman was coming to my house for the first time - dashing round making sure the place was spotless - and I could imagine myself suddenly thinking "bugger I meant to text her an hour ago before she left". Best laid plans and all that...

"Being in a crap marriage is still not an excuse to have an affair and no one deserves to be cheated on"

Yes that with bells on! Couldn't agree more, as I said before not a grey area for me, and having been on the receiving end I'm even less tolerant now. I share the blame for my marriage failing, but still would never have cheated like my ex did.

@MrDrummer does it sound like they're trying to make another go of it, or is it a 'mistake'. Not that it matters particularly to you, clearly she's behaved appalling and cutting contact sounds like the best way to deal with it. How important is your stuff at her house, or can you leave it for a bit? I'd be tempted to do the latter if at all possible, but sorry you're having to go through this, truly horrible!

I've just got home this evening, planning to try and stay up to watch the boxing but I'm absolutely knackered so will be a struggle. I'm sporting some cracking bruises on hips, back and knees, which son has delighted in poking regularly during the journey home good trip though and lovely to spend whole week with him!

If someone was coming to mine I wouldn’t text to see if they’d left as I’d think I was chasing them up 🤷🏼‍♀️. I’d expect them to say they’d left and their eta.

Me too @Jane1978xx I can't get worked up about texts. Sorry. You've agreed to go, send a quick text saying your leaving and go.

@bangheadhere40 hope your evening has improved. Tough meeting his friends when you hardly know him.

Ah @MrDrummer sometimes life really really sucks. I'm so sorry you're Back here and sorry that's the reason.

@Ant330 when will you see ms h?

I've been mulling over. My male bestie gave me a talking to about Mr U. Told me I'm being ridiculous and wasting my dating time. He's right too. You've got to be in it to win it. So I'm slowly gearing up to going back on tinder. I don't know whether to tell mr U or just go on it. He'll see me as he's on there trying to tout for business. Which is true... and he'll be hurt. But I'm home alone again on a child free evening. And I could be out.. and having sex has reminded me how nice it is. I think I might actually be ready to do some dating... only took me 5 months!

I somehow seem to have gone from a seemingly uninterested Mr Dimples to 4 potential irons today.
Mr Dimples just seems so uniterested - I have suggested what we could do for a second date and asked him when he is free. He just responded with we should make a date when we are both available. I refuse to do all the chasing.
Mr Unexpected - new iron today, he messaged me out of the blue, apparently has my number from when I was on POF for about a week in October/November last year (surgery is a great excuse for not knowing how he had my number) I don't remember anything about him just that I apparently liked him enough to give him my number. Arranging a date for Tuesday.
Mr Army - met him on bumble yesterday and just asked me when I was going to ask him out. A lot like one of my ex's though, in the army and same island in the Caribbean.
Mr Shy - long time between messages on POF but asked me out on a date tonight so going to swap numbers and arrange it
Lastly Mr White (not super creative on names) hasn't asked me out yet but messages me a lot of Bumble so looks to be heading that way.

Never had this many irons at once. Playing the numbers game this time trying to not put all my eggs in one basket and to not get too invested too soon