Sex talk - is this normal?

[Bluegreenandyellow]

I feel like these things aren’t normal but I’m struggling to frame them. Dh doesn’t shout or anything, I think he might think this is meant to be attractive? It doesn’t feel it and I don’t like it.

Tells me if I walk around wearing x I will get it whether I want it or not.
Calls me his ‘sexy piece of ass’ as in he will say ‘whose sexy piece of ass is this? It’s mine’
Asks when he will ‘gets a go on his sexy piece of ass’
Says things like ‘I want to knock the back out of you.’ And ‘get your knickers off and go and lie and think of England for three minutes.’
Bought me some chocolate and when I thanked him said ‘got to have your eyes on the prize.’
Says things such as ‘it’s my marital rights to have sex on tap’

He’s never forced me or anything. He has sulked so that I’ve given in though.

He makes comments quite frequently about killing me / another man if i left him and met someone else or if I cheated on him. But it’s said jokingly. He also says I’m never allowed to leave him and puts his arms around me and says ‘this I the ring of steel I’ve got you in.’

None of it is said in an abusive way or anything but I frequently feel like an object rather than anything else. Are these normal jokes? I don’t know.

Absolutely not normal OP. He sounds like an arsehole.

None of it is said in an abusive way
FFS this is abuse no matter how he says it.
Come on!

It doesn’t feel great - but is this just how some men talk?

This all sounds awful

Only if by "some men" you mean "dickheads". It's not how decent men talk

not it isnt normal and the fact that he sulks til you give is is abusive.

Its horrible reading it as a bystander I cant imagine how the undertones of rape feel to you. Sex isnt a maritial right and the fact that it basically says your wants/needs/pleasures dont matter is awful

have you spoken to him told him how you feel. Or does he pretend to be too sensitve to be able to take it

He gets angry.

eurgh, i couldn’t be with a man who talked like that. he sounds disgusting.

It is abuse. You need to leave.

Brrr, creepy. Not good.

And the sulking/coercion is awful.

get your knickers off and go and lie and think of England for three minutes.’

Oooh - are we going to do it twice?

OP he gets angry what if you raise any of this

This is an abusive relationship. How often do these demands/sulks arise

ah goodness..no it isn't normal.

He sounds threatening and abusive. Sorry op.

You really need to get out of there. Before you do anything though, speak to the police about the death threats.

Has he always spoken to you like this? If so, why did you marry him?

It's really not normal, it's awful.

Eww, he see’s you as an object that he owns, with no rights of its own.

He’s disgusting, and personally I think having to live with a man that see’s and treats you as his property is abuse. He’s also telling you he can do what ever he wants with you, how is that ok? He has as much respect for you as he does his car.

He sounds absolutely disgusting

Had this with my ex, he wouldn't be pushy but acted similarly. Made me feel uncomfortable but justified it by saying it's how men are. Came out later he had a lot more quite misogynistic and controlling tendencies towards women but came across as a straight talker and kind guy. It would be a massive warning sign to, especially the part about being entitled to sex because of marriage. You know the answer already op..,,

He's talking to you like your his possession

No not normal. Creepy and abusive.

Ugh he sounds like a real creep.

Good Lord OP, that all sounds extremely abusive and upsetting.

And frankly frightening.

How would any woman find that an acceptable way to be spoken too.

I find it very threatening.

I certainly wouldn't want to be married to anyone like that.

The threatening to kill you is grounds to talk to 101.

He sounds unhinged.

Please be safe.

no not normal at all, I'd leave would make me sick!

But should I take it as a serious threat? I mean people say stupid things all the time?
I find it such a grey area, if it was being shouted etc then it would be different.

I don’t like the sexist language though.
Currently I’m not supposed to sleep wearing anything.

It's horrible.

You've told him it makes you feel uncomfortable.

A decent man would mortified and would stop.

He gets angry.

It's not normal and you deserve better.

I hope you find a way to a better life.