Fussy partner with food!

[MellowMelly]

This will probably sound completely trivial but it’s seriously causing issues.
My partner is ridiculously fussy with food. The main bone of contention is dinner. He is never happy no matter what I serve up and I’m finding cooking now to be an utter chore rather than enjoyable and I’m so limited to what I can cook for him now it’s become ridiculous.
I’m fed up of serving up food and watching as he pushes his food around the plate whilst actually pulling faces and then starts critiquing it either during the meal or after. Apparently the chicken the other night was chewy and inedible (he made sure I knew this by making it obvious that he was struggling to cut it, I however had no problems) the hake I cooked was watery and had no taste (it had a lemon and dill sauce on it), the pizza was definitely not hot enough so therefore not cooked properly and might make him ill, he is ‘minced out’ from Bolognaise, he won’t eat lamb now as some minted lamb shanks have put him off it. He won’t eat anything with rice/pasta, anything covered in breadcrumbs, anything too ‘herby’.

It doesn’t stop at my door with his criticism, his Mother and the takeaways/restaurants get it too. The sauce was too thick, there was not enough chicken in the kebab, the chips were soggy, the battered cod was too greasy...it’s endless.

We tried HelloFresh. Out of the hundred recipes only 3 made it into the acceptable pile.

I’ve told my partner to cook dinner if I’m so terrible at cooking, the few occasions that he has, well, he criticised his own cooking too

Suggestions? I will even accept LTB

Glad to see MN have taken it down

How would you feel @MellowMelly about having this thread added to MN classics? I see a couple of suggestions up thread.

It's usually up to the people on the thread, so I'd be glad to hear if anyone thinks that would not be appropriate.

I would be fine with this in Classics.

The advice, support, and genuine care shown on this thread might just be the encouragement that someone else might need to reach out for help.

It was this support and advice that made me see I deserved more and could make that change.
It was then this support and advice that gave me encouragement to leave.

It’s also been the support and encouragement I have received after that which has kept me going in some lower moments.

I drank wine and danced earlier, then I had a little cry and I came back to this thread to remind myself that I can do this and I will be ok because you lovely people have told me I will be.

Melly. Every time you feel a bit tearful just remember that you won’t ever again have to clean his pissy stinking toilet. 😄

Mumsnet isn’t all bad. And it’s helped a lot with of people. Including me.
When you genuinely need help, there are folks out in the hinterlands that are there.

We all need support from time to time

Mellow, I'm up, I work from home to foreign places and usually sleep for about 7-1 or so UK. You are a bloody star!

@MellowMelly if you feel up to it (and obviously agree) please log on to your local Police force website and send a compliment about the officers who dealt with you. If you don't know their names your name and address will be enough for them to find their details. Working in this environment, please trust me that they really went the extra mile in getting your belongings back, and a complement from a member of the public is few and far between. You must also report him for absolutely ANY contact you have from him in the future, please be assured you will be supported both here on MN but also by the Police. NCDV will also help you with restraining orders and advice now you have reported him. I wish you all the luck in the world moving forward xxx

Let him cook for himself and if he doesn't like that either, let him go hungry. If he starts whinging and nit-picking, I'd just pickup my plate and eat in another room.

katy1213. Things have moved on a bit!

This thread has been amazing to read. So pleased for you ❤

It’s amazing how people outside a situation have clarity to see what is going on. When you are in the relationship you have feelings about things aren’t right but you don’t really see through the fog. Well done for getting out. My ex although not as bad as what you describe, belittled me and had had digs at me constantly. If I was happy or excited about an upcoming event, however small he would belittle it.. and me. Now over a year free many many other occasions pop into my head when he was a complete t* . I am so happy at home now, feel utterly content walking through the door. The defining moment was when I deleted all his shite programmes that were recorded😃
He was a buzz kill. I hope I have the experience to not find myself in this situation again... but sadly people do. oP seems to have gone from one abusive relationship to another. Anybody in your life, friends or partners, should enhance it.
Well done OP. Hope u never hear from the gobshite again

Your opening post said ‘this will probably sound trivial’ (which it obviously was not!!) and now look at you OP! It’s fantastic and an inspiration to me when I have weak moments thinking about my recent now ex abuse relationship. It’s bloody brilliantly how far you have come in such a short space of time. Keep posting here if you have a weak or sad moment. We are still here for you!

Inspiration to those who are stuck in abusive relationships .
Please do report back to police how much you appreciate their help.
I know it is not much, but a thank you and a box of chocolates go a long way.
Well done💐

OP.... you're amazing. I'm in admiration of how swiftly you acted in leaving him.

Now he can cook his own food, clean his own toilet, keep himself awake at night and stew in his own company. He's deranged.

The one that just made me stop in my tracks was him biting your arse, after shaking you, pulling your hair and taking the covers off you. I couldn't believe what I was reading at that point.
Never mind the flumping of pillows on your face.

I seriously hope others in abusive relationships read your thread and it helps them.

What a lovely morning. I have slept like a log (because no one was pulling my hair). Feeling much fresher today.

My plans today are too carry on with the Freedom Project. I’ve also ordered a few books by Dana Morningstar called, Start here, Out of the Fog and Boundaries.

I’m also looking at booking a counselling course. I’ve gone from having two very normal relationships in my earlier years to two abusive relationships so what has happened to my boundaries/self esteem in between, why am I now attracting or being attracted to these men.

The start of my journey begins!

I will definitely say thank you to the police officers.

Counselling is a great idea. I had 8 months of CBT, it had changed my life 👍

*has

MellowMelly, what a ball you can have, menu planning for yourself now! What foods are you going to enjoy with a beautific smile on your face as you imagine him glumly eating his manky subway, making chittering noises of disapproval, then realising there was no one there to hear - or care?!

A message I can report for addition to classics

I request at least a bi weekly update of @MellowMelly's dinners

@mbosnz Exactly! Honestly I’ve got my cookbooks back out and tonight I’m having Pad Kra Pow. A beautiful Thai dish that was banned because it is served with rice
I hope tonight he weeps whilst eating his Subway.

@JorisBonson There you go^^ My first dinner update

Pad Kra Pao that should read, bloody autocorrect!

Ohhhh mannnn...
Now I want a Massaman chicken curry!
Sounds amazing OP.
You can enjoy food again!

Oooooh, a Massaman chicken curry - I'm going to have to do that again soon - I've got the most amazing recipe.

Pad Kra Pao sounds gorgeous!

I hope his poor mother isn't having him turning up at hers for feeding and emotional/verbal punching bag duties.

What’s wrong with rice!!
I wonder what these people do when they’ve got no audience to abuse.

Though I probably shouldn’t bother to think too hard about it

Lovely to thank the police.

I have had dealings with the police a few times over the past 20 years and have found them to be incredibly kind, professional and utterly human.

In an accident that I witnessed, I was in awe of them in their dealings with the injured party.

They don't get half the praise they deserve.