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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Fussy partner with food!

521 replies

MellowMelly · 24/01/2020 11:44

This will probably sound completely trivial but it’s seriously causing issues.
My partner is ridiculously fussy with food. The main bone of contention is dinner. He is never happy no matter what I serve up and I’m finding cooking now to be an utter chore rather than enjoyable and I’m so limited to what I can cook for him now it’s become ridiculous.
I’m fed up of serving up food and watching as he pushes his food around the plate whilst actually pulling faces and then starts critiquing it either during the meal or after. Apparently the chicken the other night was chewy and inedible (he made sure I knew this by making it obvious that he was struggling to cut it, I however had no problems) the hake I cooked was watery and had no taste (it had a lemon and dill sauce on it), the pizza was definitely not hot enough so therefore not cooked properly and might make him ill, he is ‘minced out’ from Bolognaise, he won’t eat lamb now as some minted lamb shanks have put him off it. He won’t eat anything with rice/pasta, anything covered in breadcrumbs, anything too ‘herby’.

It doesn’t stop at my door with his criticism, his Mother and the takeaways/restaurants get it too. The sauce was too thick, there was not enough chicken in the kebab, the chips were soggy, the battered cod was too greasy...it’s endless.

We tried HelloFresh. Out of the hundred recipes only 3 made it into the acceptable pile.

I’ve told my partner to cook dinner if I’m so terrible at cooking, the few occasions that he has, well, he criticised his own cooking too Hmm

Suggestions? I will even accept LTB Grin

OP posts:
YasssKween · 27/01/2020 14:45

Ah your local police sound brilliant that's ace. Well done you, what a great decision you've made I'm so glad you feel vindicated by everyone on here and now the police. You've massively done the right thing x

fishonabicycle · 27/01/2020 14:54

Get rid of him. It's early days and you should still be loved up 18 months in. If it's this niggly already, it's doomed.

JorisBonson · 27/01/2020 14:56

@fishonabicycle if you RTFT you'll see that OP has successfully left.

Congratulations on your freedom OP!

Noflora · 27/01/2020 15:09

It really is brilliant what you've done and how you've handled this OP. Well done.

As an addition; I do always worry about the next poor girlfriend in abuse cases. By calling the police and making them recognise his coercive control you have done her the biggest favour.

MellowMelly · 27/01/2020 16:16

They’ve spoken to him! He denied all at first but then they said they had seen the emails and a few texts that I had taken screen shots of from earlier this month that had read to me as slightly controlling (let me pat myself on the back for keeping those). Then apparently he got angry and said that I had done him a huge favour leaving anyway as I’m a waste of space (despite begging for me back).
He has been advised to not contact me again otherwise they’ll take further action (he can be arrested for this apparently).
Then then made him pack my clothes up which the officers now have and they will return them to me shortly!
He is probably crying now because he will actually have to clean his own house Grin

OP posts:
MellowMelly · 27/01/2020 16:19

I’ve grown some wings...

Fussy partner with food!
OP posts:
CousinKrispy · 27/01/2020 16:21

That's such wonderful news Mellow, I am so pleased for you!

OvalCanvas · 27/01/2020 16:21

Fantastic. You've achieved so much.

billy1966 · 27/01/2020 16:23

These men are so scary to read about. Astonishing.

Well done OP.

I bet he'll get some shock when he finds the police on his door and realises that he's been well and truly flagged to them.

He will not be expecting you to have been so assertive and decisive.

Well done 💐👍

Noflora · 27/01/2020 16:24

Well done you.

Thinkingaboutsummer2020 · 27/01/2020 16:26

Well done x

hellsbellsmelons · 27/01/2020 16:39

Indeed he can be arrested.
Any kind of domestic abuse, coercive control, financial abuse etc... It's all now a criminal offence.
You should be so fucking proud of yourself.
Huge huge ((((HUGS))))
Wine and here's to FREEDOM!!!!

BumbleBeee69 · 27/01/2020 17:01

Credit to those Police Officers in your area OP.. they did a sterling job resolving this for you OP.. bloody sterling.. I'm so happy for you Flowers

fishonabicycle · 27/01/2020 17:33

I had RTFT! The fucking phone had only loaded half of it!

Glad you've left that awful man!

CinderEmma · 27/01/2020 17:36

I hope the visit from the police has shook him up and makes him have a little think about his actions.

Bet he stops pissing on the floor now Smile.

ittooshallpass · 27/01/2020 18:13

Wow. Great news OP. So glad you're safe in your own home. And you got all your clothes back too! Brilliant. Thanks

followingonfromthat · 27/01/2020 18:28

Just read this thread in one sitting - OMG.

Well done you for getting out and to your lovely friend Flowers and another well done to your local cops who have handled things brilliantly for you [pat on the back emoji]

TwentyViginti · 27/01/2020 18:35

Bet he stops pissing on the floor now

Hell yes! OP won't be there to clean it up! Grin

Well done Mellow

madmumofteens · 27/01/2020 18:42

Amazing update OP onwards and upwards 💐

YasssKween · 27/01/2020 18:43

Brilliant brilliant police officers there, I'm raising a glass to them and you from my sofa.

You sound so much brighter even though it's been such a stressful day. Sounds like your sass is back and it suits you!

Lots of pats on your back well deserved x

followingonfromthat · 27/01/2020 18:44

I can't help wondering which takeaway will be providing him with a dinner he won't enjoy tonight.

Hope he doesn't take all this out on his mum, poor woman. Some Flowers for her too.

NettleTea · 27/01/2020 18:51

Thats brilliant and I love your police team - they absolutely had the measure of him.

and boo hoo him having to wipe up his own piss now

FilledSoda · 27/01/2020 19:24

You're amazing , seriously , I know how frightening getting away must have been .
I'm sure you've helped other women on here too Thanks

FinallyHere · 27/01/2020 19:39

This is really good news, well done

IndieTara · 27/01/2020 19:42

Stay vigilant @Mellow but well done. This is the start of a happier life

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