Fussy partner with food!

[MellowMelly]

This will probably sound completely trivial but it’s seriously causing issues.
My partner is ridiculously fussy with food. The main bone of contention is dinner. He is never happy no matter what I serve up and I’m finding cooking now to be an utter chore rather than enjoyable and I’m so limited to what I can cook for him now it’s become ridiculous.
I’m fed up of serving up food and watching as he pushes his food around the plate whilst actually pulling faces and then starts critiquing it either during the meal or after. Apparently the chicken the other night was chewy and inedible (he made sure I knew this by making it obvious that he was struggling to cut it, I however had no problems) the hake I cooked was watery and had no taste (it had a lemon and dill sauce on it), the pizza was definitely not hot enough so therefore not cooked properly and might make him ill, he is ‘minced out’ from Bolognaise, he won’t eat lamb now as some minted lamb shanks have put him off it. He won’t eat anything with rice/pasta, anything covered in breadcrumbs, anything too ‘herby’.

It doesn’t stop at my door with his criticism, his Mother and the takeaways/restaurants get it too. The sauce was too thick, there was not enough chicken in the kebab, the chips were soggy, the battered cod was too greasy...it’s endless.

We tried HelloFresh. Out of the hundred recipes only 3 made it into the acceptable pile.

I’ve told my partner to cook dinner if I’m so terrible at cooking, the few occasions that he has, well, he criticised his own cooking too

Suggestions? I will even accept LTB

Bloody hell. I'm so glad you got out and that the police were so helpful. I know you said you were going to but when you get a chance definitely take part in the Freedom programme. This has been a horrible relationship and you'll need help recovering.

@MellowMelly I'm so proud of you! I started reading and the more i read the bigger the shock became. I'm so glad this thread about moaning over dinner has made you evaluate the situation and get out safely.

Take care of yourself and life your life with all the Thai food, stirring tea and full nights sleep that you can!

Oh that's so impressive OP you're a brave and terrific woman who deserves a brilliant partner. What an inspiration you are!

Would it be inappropriate for this thread to be in the Classics? It could be really instructive and inspirational for women in abusive situations. The OP has been decisive and responsive and a true inspiration.

Brilliant news OP. And great to hear of such an effective and immediate response by the police. It sounds like they have really listened to you and dealt with it well. Hope your ex gets the message and leaves you alone. What a sad sack of shit he turned out to be.

@wereallsquare
I admire how Op has handled this and ltb. But her advantage is that she is financially independent and has her own accomodation to flee to.

A lot of the women who post on here can't move as swiftly due to lack of finances and accomodation.

@NurseButtercup

You make a good point. It is just that my relative who was murdered at the hands of her partner was a wealthy lawyer, financially independent, no children, and had all the resources available to her. She just kept returning to her abuser.

There was another piece of the puzzle for my relative that the OP seems to have unlocked. That is why I find it so inspirational, the evolution of her recognition of the abuse over the course of the thread, her willingness to take good advice, to talk to friends and family and to report her abuser to the police.

Mellow, you are strong! You are a survivor. You are inspiring. You are a star and you are free!

Do you realise Mumsnet have posted this on fb, with the snapshot suggesting it's just about a fussy partner?? Shitty thing to do, Mumsnet

I thought so too when I saw it kitsmummy

Do you realise Mumsnet have posted this on fb, with the snapshot suggesting it's just about a fussy partner?? Shitty thing to do, Mumsnet

this is Awful.. has someone flagged it up ?

Argh @MNHQ bit of a fuck up posting this to Facebook as a light hearted fussy good discussion 😬

Poor OP x

I've reported it.

OMG it’s on Facebook

I'm aghast MN have posted this thread on Facebook, absolutely shocked. For Gods sake!!!
Fucking hell guys sort it out.

OP I'm so glad the police were able to speak to him, that is brilliant.

Thank god @OvalCanvas for reporting. I’m sure I’ve kept any personal details vague enough but still eeeek!

Well ladies I’ve packed away my clothes, I cooked myself salmon, I’ve drunk some wine and danced and now I’ve got the Freedom Project open on the iPad!

I can’t even tell you how wonderful you’ve all been. Truly.

Have reported here too, fingers crossed if a few of us do then it'll get taken down x

@Wereallsquare

This is awful to read. I’m really sorry.

Thanks ladies so much. I don’t have Facebook so was clueless!!

So MN has posted this on FB. You see to me, this sort of thing really ‘isn’t in the spirit of Mumsnet’. Someone comes on here for help with a dodgy situation and MN sees fit to use it as a bit of light entertainment. Shitty and hypocritical. ☹️

But then anything that increases footfall is a good thing isn’t it? Because that means more money for MN. I know their response will be that this is a public site and nobody should post anything they’re not happy to have made public but I still think it’s a rather grubby thing to do.

I've reported my own post on this thread to try and get their attention. I'd encourage others to do the same.

Hi all,

We are incredibly sorry that this thread has been shared on Facebook.

As a general rule, we don't share relationship threads - this was an error and we're investigating why this happened.

We're going to take the thread down temporarily, and will reinstate it (if the OP would like us to), once we have removed it from social media.

Once again, we are very sorry about this.

Hi all,

The thread has now been deleted from Facebook.

The OP has found an abundance of support and advice here, and would like this reinstated.

Once again, we're really very sorry for our mistake.

@MellowMelly That is why it means so much to me to see you taking such good care of yourself. Really, really warms my heart. 💕