Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I want nothing to do with you anymore ....

183 replies

deedds · 19/01/2020 20:32

I've been seeing him for 5 months now.
This last two weeks have been awful.
Him picking and choosing when he spoke,being short with me,cold etc
He said you remind me too much of my ex.
Then today he just said "I want nothing to do with you anymore"
No explanation

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 23/01/2020 08:42

Classic Narc Discard. Been there - they are brutal. Block and ignore. You have had a lucky escape.

deedds · 23/01/2020 09:14

How do you know if someone has a narcissistic personality ? Or is just someone with a cold personality.

OP posts:
SophieSong · 23/01/2020 09:32

Well done for having more productive days.

This stuck out to me -

I'm really stuck,I felt as long as he wanted me,found me attractive I was worth something.
Now he's decided I'm not worthy of even friendship..I'm nothing again.

Unfortunately, while you look to other people to make you feel worth something you are going to be a prime target for just this sort of person. They can spot that vulnerability from a mile off and enjoy playing about with it.

There truly is nothing you could have done to make him behave any better - if you were more confident and had better self-esteem he would probably not have bothered in the first place. Or he would have worked even harder to destroy your confidence. But he sounds more the type who prefers someone vulnerable who he can mess about.

It's a power trip to people like this - evidenced by him sending you those messages about other women and trying to wind you up.

Please try and do some work on your self-esteem. I don't think it's necessarily true that you can only find love once you fully love yourself, but in all honesty, when you place so much of your self-esteem on whether someone else wants you it's going to do two things.

Firstly it is going to make people looking for a healthy relationship run a mile because they will understand they cannot possibly be the whole basis for you thinking well of yourself. Secondly, it will also attract the type of predatory assholes like this idiot.

This guy may or may not be a narcissist, but it's more about how he has behaved. No-one who is a decent person would behave so cruelly. If they had decided they didn't want a relationship they would say it with grace and not go out of their way to be cruel.

qpoweiruaoknf · 23/01/2020 09:45

A narcissistic personality disorder gets diagnosed by a psychiatrist.

NB Saying to other people that someone has a narcissistic personality disorder when they do not could end in a defamation claim against you.

midsummabreak · 26/01/2020 08:35

Yep but the Op has noted some clearly narcissistic traits in her xpartner and is looking to live free from this

qpoweiruaoknf · 26/01/2020 11:51

I was responding only to her asking how tell if someone has a narcissistic personality which I think goes too far. I agree with you that it is good to help and support someone who is looking for ways to live free from someone who makes them feel bad.

TorkTorkBam · 26/01/2020 12:32

You don't need to know if they have a narcissistic or cold or something else personality.

All you need to know is what they do, what actions they take, then decide if those are acceptable to you. For one-off events the back story and motivation can make it forgivable, for patterns of behaviour it doesn't matter why, just that it is and it is no good for you.

qpoweiruaoknf · 26/01/2020 12:36

I agree with pp

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.