I want nothing to do with you anymore ....

[deedds]

I've been seeing him for 5 months now.
This last two weeks have been awful.
Him picking and choosing when he spoke,being short with me,cold etc
He said you remind me too much of my ex.
Then today he just said "I want nothing to do with you anymore"
No explanation

Rip off the plaster in one fair swoop. The fact that you want to beg crumbs of his affection (he has none) is beyond me. I think you should learn to be kinder to yourself.

I honestly think this has triggered my depression.
I miss him so much.

Have you considered going to the GP OP? This isnt normal behaviour, i mean this in the nicest way, i think you need some support in your life x

I agree, do you have any friends who could support you through this?

@NameChangedAgggggggggain don't worry I don't take offence.
I'm just going to up my anti depressants and hope it helps.
I'm hurt about this but I'm not right with my emotions anyway and cry all the time.
This is just a trigger I know it

@Queenofheartsnomore I only have 3 good friends,they are listening to me but I think il be doing their heads in too.
I'm meeting a friend in a minute for a coffee and cake.

@deedds - Until you start taking a look at your past, you're not going to get out of the hell you find yourself in right now.

But it seems you're a bit stuck, aren't you?

See if you can pull yourself out a little: start thinking about what you were taught about love as a kid, and ask yourself if you're choosing partners who are doing the same thing your parent/s did.

I'm sure you're not doing their head in. I think that's a good idea to up your anti d's. Do you think it would be helpful to ask your GP about talking therapies. Stop giving yourself a hard time, you've done nothing wrong!

You seem to be on it with self care, OP, which is really positive.

Do you think some counselling might help?

I'm really stuck,I felt as long as he wanted me,found me attractive I was worth something.
Now he's decided I'm not worthy of even friendship..I'm nothing again.
I've always thought I wasn't worth a light and now him rejecting my friendship and not even wanting me in his life at all ..just proves that.
I would get jealous when he told me girls were chatting him up etc but I apologised and just told him not to tell me.

You really need to build up your self esteem, OP, so that you aren't judging your worth by your relationship status.

Your self worth is determined by you not anyone else. It is not up to your ex or anyone to make you feel better about yourself you need to do that for you.

You need to leave him behind and take some serious time to work on YOU as no relationship you ever have will work whilst you feel so low about yourself that you take being treated like that.

I think it would be worth doing some kind of therapy and work on your self esteem.

Bless you, @deedds - If your self-worth is dependent on anyone else, then you're on a hiding to nothing. Get that back, for yourself. It's hard work, and it is worth it.

He has been cruel. You sound lovely, probably too nice. Leave him be. Keep him blocked/deleted.

It does feel shit and you are allowed to acknowledge that. Just think long term it would have got worse with someone like that.

I hope you find happiness x

Thanks for trying to help everyone
I do appreciate it

OP, are you currently having any therapy? If not, I think you may benefit from it. You have very low self esteem and are basing your entire self worth on what one person thinks of you. I think you may need to unpick why this is.
You haven't done anything wrong. You haven't messed up. Nothing you could have done would have changed how he has behaved. Be kind to yourself x

Hot and cold behaviour is a red flag every time. It means 'do not get involved'. It doesnt mean 'work harder to get more hot behaviour'. Telling you about other women is triangulation, it's only purpose is to make you feel in competition and him feel like the big cheese. Your low self esteem has handed him the keys to your happiness and he was the last person who should have had them. Atm you're probably just heartbroken and cant see the light at the end of the tunnel but eventually, hopefully you'll see this is a lesson. If you need someone else to validate your worthiness then it's best to take yourself off for counselling, when you meet new people make sure you dont overlook red flags like this again.

This guy sounds exactly like someone I had the misfortune to be involved with

Surprise surprise...he had a 'crazy ex' or several 'crazy exes'.
He was very sociopathic and had little to no empathy for anyone else.
Somehow he always made me 'wrong' - everything was my fault, never his.
He was hot and cold which is confusing and anxiety provoking.

Delete all the messages and his number, so that you don't dwell on it.

Yes it's bewildering and shocking when someone turns. But there is no answer. It's not about you anyway, the way he is. He's probably like that with all women.

It'll take time to get over but cut him out, chop him out of your life like a cancer. He doesn't care about you and you don't have to accept shabby behaviour or crumbs.

You don't need his friendship, he's an arsehole. Why would you want a friend who drops you with no explanation. Fuck him off. He is nothing and no one to you.

deedds Mon 20-Jan-20 09:25:56
I won't be messaging anymore.
It's just making it worse.
It amazes me when a person just changes overnight .
He was lovely at first (up until 2 weeks ago )
We got on great etc
.......
I'm glad you are no longer going to contact him.

It is difficult to get over a relationship which you felt was going well an ended abruptly. He is a prize arse, frankly. I mean, sending you pics of him with another woman? Sheesh.

You're well out of it.

Take care of yourself.

I just wish I could start feeling better.
I'm taking on board all the advice but still upset.
The same thing just runs over my brain -you don't want to be with me but I thought we were close enough to be friends.
What have I done that you don't even want me in any capacity.
He completely messed with my head and every time I ever asked him a question he would say "your wrecking my brain with questions"
I never -he just used to send me pics of girls messaging him and tell me not to get "mad"
Then the next day not speak much -so obviously I worried if he was now chatting to these girls.
Every day for months I woke up nervous wondering what type of day it would be.
Dreaded weekends when he went out-because I knew he's eyes were all over.
Maybe I'm best off out of it like you all have said.

But you can’t easily be friends with him until you’re over him, so that’s Probably why he hasn’t stayed friends. I mean you wouldn’t want to know all the details about him seeing other people yet would you? He sounds a disrespectful knob. You really are better off without him. You’ll find someone better, who doesn’t play games with your head showing you the texts he’s receiving to make you jealous. He’s not a great boyfriend..

Will you ever learn, I fear not. You have been posting about this for months using different names, I don't know what more you expect people to say as you never take any advice

I have blocked him on everything this time.
So it's totally done this time
I'm just feeling like shit that's all and needed to vent somewhere.

Hey - don't start asking him what you did wrong!!!!

You are just playing into his control fantasy.

I am delighted that you have had this lucky escape. Next time have confidence in yourself - do not allow yourself to be manipulated into feeling you have done something wrong.

Delete him; turn around and walk away with head held high - and us it as a learning experience for future relationships.

use