Dating thread 181 - into 2020 with finesse and strong boundaries!

[Menora]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I don’t plan on anyone moving in with me or me moving an with anyone else, I may consider it when my dc’s have moved out but I think moving anyone in would make my kids feel really uncomfortable (they are young teens), I’m also unsure if I want to share my space with anyone, especially my bed 😂.

I think I have a date Sunday with a Mr Snake, only problem is he doesn’t have a car at the moment so I have to do the running around, he does say he’s getting a car soon and does work full time which is semi promising.

Still not heard a word from Mr parrot and I haven’t contacted him. I don’t really have any other irons right now.

Thanks, everyone. Looks like it can still go either way.

@shitwithsugaron yes I'm talking about Fridays date, Mr Music. We WhatsApp Ed for two hours but he wanted to speak on the phone 'to hear my voice.'" We spoke last night for nearly 3 hours. Lots of laughter and commonality.

I was therefore wondering if someone had had a call with someone which went brilliantly but then not connected in person. Of course I was hoping there would be a correlation between the two. He has the most charming accent.

I had to postpone the date for two weeks too but he was okay about that.

@saltysally I also had a long phones conversation with Mr Ad before we met and had a really good connection (as we had via messages). I fell for him even more when I heard his accent

Yay that's the news I need @Sunshineandflipflops 😁😁

sunshine I have no plans to ever live with a man again or get married. Maybe when my kids move out but they are 4 and 2 so it’s a way off!!! I like my independence and I agree it’s a death knell! I don’t want farting and washing boxers and moods I want romance and excitement, sex and companionship. I think it’s deferent if you want children but I gave my 2 and don’t want more

salty are you still interviewing for a FWB or looking for something more? Fingers crossed for your iron!

supercali hard cos it’s his birthday but if your not feeling it then you can’t keep on

@Marlboroandmalbec34 No, I'm done with kids too and don't really like the idea of having a step dad figure in the kids lives. I like our bond now and although I sometimes whine that I'm lonely/bored in the evenings as my dc are 12 and 13 are do their own things, I actually like doing/watching what I want and not what someone else wants! I like going to bed when I please and not having to suffer someone watching tv/their phone whilst I am trying to sleep. Poor Mr Ad...!

@shitwithsugaron have a lovely evening...I'm sure Mr List won't mind

Someone mentioned that they might feel dIfferent (more positive) about living with a man once their DC have left. I’m older than most (all?) of you so I thought it might be worth describing how I feel now they’ve all gone. It’s early days I know, but having dreaded this since the youngest (now 24) was born, I actually feel amazing about having my own space, remote control, cooker, washing machine etc to myself (bar the unobtrusive lodger). Although my marriage only ended 5 years ago, I had essentially been ploughing my own furrow for 11 years before that - and I find I’m good at it, and very resistant to anyone else getting their hands on my furrow! I guess my point is that, having been alone so long, I don’t want to go back. The gap that a partner might fill has healed up I think. And I’m fine with that.

That’s true Tiger I may feel different by the time the kids move out, I have been single almost 5 years and I do like my own company, it would be tricky living with anyone, it would have to be someone pretty special.

Dregs shiteith I think that’s totes acceptable! Have fun

Can I just say @Marlboroandmalbec34 that this is totally your fault. I kept seeing your name today at work and thinking “mmmm...Malbec”. In my defence, I have the day off tomorrow and won’t be drinking all weekend as I’ll be with Mr Ad and it’s gone 5pm 😂😂😂

I like my 'furrow' too 😂😂 Am a neat freak so struggle with someone around making things untidy 😂😂

Can I blame @Marlboroandmalbec34 for my five a day habit? They are marlboros too!

Surely commitment is about actions, not necessarily living together, commitment also looks completely different to different people. I wouldn’t want to have a long term relationship that didn’t include living together and getting married, but I don’t think people wanting any different are less committed to their partners. Lots of nastiness on that thread, probably people who are insecure in their relationship and coping by putting others down.

@shitwithsugaron For future ref a freind of mine raves about using natural sponge to - um, soak up everything (apparently you can get it in boots). It gets rid of it to the point where you can sleep with someone and they haven't a clue you're 'on'. Also....ibuprofen for those interested, can delay onset of a period.

Urgh, i'm fucking sick of both being single and being involved with someone and all that brings. It would be great if I was just asexual and could crack on without the bouts of feverish horn

I've not often met a man who minded.....a towel for safety sake etc

@marlbs Mr Music would be a proper relationship with feelings and everything 😂 And thankvou

Thats good to hear @shitwithsugaron I think I will ask to have a call with any new irons

Hello peeps - quick update from me! MrM and I are still going strong. In fact we're going to be together for a long time, we've started finishing each other's sentences and the like. He's met my DD and stayed for tea as a friend and my little girl has taken a real shine to him and has asked a few times if he's coming for a sleep over.

Can't remember who was asking but I messaged MrM first on Tinder and I also asked him out on a date but our messaging was going so well and there was definitely chemistry in message. Our first date was amazing and lasted for 5 hours but didn't snog at the end just an awkward peck on the cheek which we laugh about now. Our second date was where we dtd and talked about deleting the app. About 2 weeks after that he asked me to be his girlfriend and then 2 weeks after told me he loved me. It seems very fast but we are both very much on the same page with regards everything.

Just before Christmas he surprised me with flowers delivered to work which was lovely - we are very comfortable together and have spoke about moving in together and also marriage.

Don't give up peeps as the right person is out there - you just have to kiss a lot a few frogs! About a month before I swiped right on MrM, MrT had dumped me and broke my heart but now I'm so glad he did because it lead me to MrM and my soulmate.

Well I lasted 24 hours on pof and 3 days on bumble. What is it with that app. You match, message then nothing. Or maybe it's me . Was just having a normal conversation with one, then poof gone. He did send me a pic of his torso ,but I didn't fawn over it so maybe that's what he was expecting. In a fit of boredom last night , I messaged all 16 of my matches on tinder. 2 got back to me and honestly it was like pulling teeth talking to them. A part of me cba with old but then I think all it takes is one good connection.