Based on my own experiences I can see a potential future in which your dh is sobbing in the arms of another woman saying that his cold-hearted wife picks arguments, always has to get her own way and makes him cry. I'd heartily recommend couples counselling at this stage to see if you can learn how to discuss these minor matters properly, as when a serious matter comes up in the future, you are fucked.
My dh never learned how to have a normal discussion because his parents made all the decisions and he simply did not have a say. Have a closer look at your dh's relationship with his parents - do they pander to his every whim, or do they avoid all forms of argument themselves? Or ague all the time, so that he associates discussion with horrible emotions? There are lots of reasons why he might not know how to have a proper discussion.
If your dh sees this anything like my ex, it could look something like this:
You: I disagreed with him.
Him: She criticised my judgement.
You: I asked him to explain his reasoning, but he didn't give a proper answer, so I had to ask him again.
Him: She started a fight over nothing and then kept bringing it up again and again all day until I broke down.
Until you have counselling, maybe it would help if you specifically tell him you are not attacking him:
"Just because I disagree, that doesn't mean I'm criticising you."
"I'm not trying to start a fight; I'm trying to understand you better."
But tbh, whatever you say, he'll see it through the lens of his personality issues. I never found out how to get through to my ex.
And yes, it is manipulative, even if that might not be what is intended.