Seeing someone who has previously gone to prostitutes

[VioletVoice]

I've not been in this situation before and it does bother me a bit. He and ex wife appeared to have got into a toxic relationship and she cheated with his friends, he went to prostitutes whilst working abroad.

He's quite open about this, they obviously weren't good for each other. 2 children involved but they seem relatively unscathed and he and ex get on fine now.

I'm not sure how I should feel about this though, we're not super serious (and he wouldn't be able to afford it at the moment anyway!) but it does make me feel a bit uneasy. He's been quite upfront really and said it was control as his marriage was crumbling.

He can still post it if he lives in the same area?

Anyway glad to hear you've chosen a back up plan instead of planning to see him.

@YasssKween yes exactly!!! I thought the exact same thing and if he's not in the same town this probably means he has a girlfriend elsewhere!

Oh wait he actually said he wouldn't post it because he lives nearby? God he really is such a weird dick.

FWIW my ex owed me a couple of grand and held it over my head for months, he knew I couldn't afford to lose it and that I would stay a little longer because I was torn about that.

But in the end he was SUCH a nob that I said to him you know what, no amount of money on earth is worth looking at your face for one more fucking day! And I've never regretted that. I have, however, regretted staying so long before that.

Cut your losses now you've seen the light, great decision to get a replacement item well done OP

@YasssKween god sorry he was such a nob. You're free now.

I just sent him a strident message telling him in effect he is a cunt. So I'm set loose now and there will be no coffee. Bloody hell I'm glad I left something there otherwise I wouldn't have known!

Oh @VioletVoice that's so good to hear! Well done you.

By the end I was relieved every time my ex was such an utter cunt to me because it strengthened my resolve bit by bit.

Have a nice evening, do something relaxing and have a treat

Well I'm a bit angry at the moment but that has been helpful in detaching.

Oh. He was at work. I have to calm down a little.

@YasssKween actually that's a huge amount to lose but you're right, it was worth it for your own sanity. Irritating though that he was unethical.

I did manage to get my beauty products back in the end, I told a lie and said I was allergic to sulphates and needed specialist products, so he posted them. There isn't anything else really, I've been in contact with my counsellor and there has been no contact with him.

In a post you said he was 'forceful.' That's different to 'rough'.

How was he forceful? That suggests it was obvious you didn't want to.

You KNOW being drunk is NO excuse AT ALL. Not even a little bit.

I can't go out and kill someone and get off because I was drunk.

He did he left you with injuries that took days to heal. This is horrific. Why aren't you more angry with him?

Please don't ever speak to him again, you deserve so much more.

Sorry the thread didn't update properly and I hadn't seen your last posts.

I've had some REALLY rough (totally consensual) sex many times and it's not once left me with injuries that took days to heal. That's not right.

@dressingfortv I don't actually understand what happened, I may have had sleep apnea and he was too drunk when he came to bed to be gentle or wake me up properly.

Anyway I don't give a shit about his depression anymore or seeing him for coffee, I didn't bother texting thank you for posting my stuff back as it took a bit of an effort to get him to do it.

But to leave you with injuries he must have been very rough.

I mean this in the nicest of ways as I myself have had a very low bar and terrible boundaries with men but have you thought about doing something like the freedom project? I wish it was around when I was younger, I made some very bad allowances for dreadful men and even worse behavior and wish I could go back and give myself a fucking great slap!

@dressingfortv but you've moved on now :)

I've got my counsellor and actually she is specialist in domestic violence. I still can't understand why I didn't wake up properly that night otherwise I probably would have thawked him and dialled 999

**thwacked

@VioletVoice oh don't feel bad you didn't thwack him. I may be wrong but I think freezing is the most common response to situations like that.