So I need some perspective. I'm going out of my mind.
DH birthday tomorrow and so we went out for the day today as a little treat. Plan was to get to the town/place, have a coffee, look around a few shops and then have dinner altogether in quite a nice place which has some nice memories for us - kids with us too. DH said to kids bring some pocket money to spend at the shops.
Got there all good. Had coffee, mooched in an art gallery and a couple of grown up (boring) shops and then DH says right let's go and have dinner. I said to him about kids spending there pocket money (his suggestion) and asked could we do that first/before.
Cue a huge and prolonged rant from him at me in the street in front of kids and loads of people. So cringe. Lots of shouting about it always being about the kids and he wants to do what he wants to do on his birthday! So awful :( so embarrassing. I was so shocked and taken aback by his outburst.
He then says right let's look at shops then and stormed down the high street with us trailing behind. We didn't go into any shops and eventually got to the nice food place and he said no he didn't want to go in as it's spoiled so we went to a pizza place instead and ate in virtual silence.
Got home had a bit of a row (again) and basically he says I'm thoughtless and only care about the kids and he wanted one day for himself. I think he is being really childish and immature.
Now he's sulking and acting wounded like such a martyr that I feel guilty even though he overreacted and caused the whole nonsense!
Is it just me or is it him? I'm so confused I feel like I did something so awful and ruined his birthday - that is how he is acting :(
Ps he does have form for doing this kind of thing and it's always because I've done something 'thoughtless'
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
What the hell is going on??!!
candymilk · 11/01/2020 23:04
It's really, really good to hear that you've confided in two people IRL. It's such a difficult thing to do, but you may find that the more you talk about it the easier it gets to just tell it like it is.
Well done! 
Glad that you have been able to tell people and get some real life support 
And he's just said (in earshot of the kids) that we need to talk about how much I hate him and why! Errrr? 
@candymilk It is so good to hear back from you, although I wish you had better news! So sorry that things are so difficult. He sounds totally unreasonable and a bully but I know that it’s hardly ever a case of just LTB as some might suggest.
Maybe posting here and getting some encouragement from others in similar situations would help a little when you’re feeling so low and struggling with what’s going on? Do you have support in RL? I can’t remember without RTFTing agsin. Sending you a big hug anyway!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.