What do you do when someone you adored gets back in touch randomly?!

[MustardScreams]

Backstory: guy I’ve known for 14 years. Always had a spark, but never the right time. Cliche!

We lost touch a couple of years ago. I think he blocked me! I’m guessing he met someone and didn’t know how to tell me.

He’s messaged tonight saying he wants to go for a drink tomorrow. Now, usually I would ABSOLUTELY say “not a chance son, you’re a twat.” But he’s not. And I miss him. And I want to know what happened!!

[BruceAndNosh]

What if he wants to tell you that he's marrying the woman he ghosted you for...?

[toomanyleggings]

You've agreed drinks for tomorrow?! Jesus Christ. Desperate much? Hope you're not going to post here next week wondering why you haven't heard from him

[MustardScreams]

@BruceAndNosh well at least I’d have closure! I’d be happy for him. I’m not expecting anything from tomorrow.

It’s just such a huge shock. And MN is very good at diluting expectations which is what I need.

[category12]

I'm so confused - you say he's not a twat and then agree he is .

Anyhooo, since you've done the daft thing of agreeing to see him straightaway after he's treated you like nothing, vanished and then expects you to come running when he snaps his fingers, at least make sure you wear a coat with Welcome written across it.

[Flyingsouthwiththeswallows]

Know two people that happened too.

One after 30 years when she was 60, the other after 15 years when she was 40.

Both are now very happily married to the person who tracked them down.

Sometimes life and immaturity gets in the way of love the first time round !!

[Purplewhitelie]

He just wants sex, probably, like most men unless they are planning a family and then seem to need a more permanent member of staff.

[MustardScreams]

I’ve prided myself on my independence and self-love since dd’s dad left me in horrific circumstances. Seems I’m still a sucker for a pal.

What is wrong with me!

[RLEOM]

Make sure he's not just come out of a relationship and is searching for a bit of fun to take away the pain. I'd be very wary.

[jewel1968]

How exactly did you lose touch? Did you text and he didn't reply? I suspect the story around the losing contact will find its ending when you meet up.

[RightEarlobeBreath]

I think it’s more likely he has messaged all the women he can think of to see who will bite and you are one of the ones who’ve bitten.

I’d fight the curiosity and cancel on him. Or if I felt like it, ghost him and have him turn up to no one. Then he can see how it feels.

[NumbersStation]

We have a saying in these parts OP.

Ca’ canny.

[Daisy7654]

I've also known as couple of female friends this happened to. In both cases they ended up married to the two separate men in question.
You only live once, life is for living.
Grab hold and don't let go and ignore the old cynics on here.
Choose love.

[HouseworkAvoider10]

He sounds like a fuckboy going through his little black book, looking for fuck.
its up to you whether you want to be shagged by someone who blocked you before.
I would totally ignore him.

[HouseworkAvoider10]

actually i'd arrange to meet him and then stand him up.
and then ignore him.
and then block him.

[ohfourfoxache]

FWIW I think meeting him is the right thing to do, but be VERY careful. He’s hurt you once, he could do it again. Make sure you protect yourself

[ec1993]

Wow some of these replies are very dramatic!

People grow up, learn from mistakes, sometimes want to put right what they wronged. He didn't murder anyone guys.

Trust your gut OP and if you want to, go for it! X

[SleightOfMind]

If you’re single and feel able to weather further heartbreak then definitely meet him.

Be fucking fabulous though

[Ilovenutellaaaaa]

op if you are going to reinstate contact with him then don't let yourself get attached incase he disappears again

If a small percentage of yourself is imagining being in a romantic relationship with him, then ask yourself why oupd you want to risk your heart in relationship with a man to mean nothing to, (you mean nothing, that's how he could easily cut you from his life, if you meant something to him, he wouldn't have been able to do that)....please go into this with your head and not your heart op,

[Blahblahblah12345]

Go for the drink. Even if it's just to get answers/closure

[IndieTara]

Do whatever feels right for you but be wary

[custardbear]

I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and see him, but don't sleep with him!

[GilbertMarkham]

He didn't have much manners, respect or decency before .. he could've communicated briefly and not essentially ghosting you.

Do you really think his character & behaviour will have changed all that much.

[GilbertMarkham]

*ghosted

[Canyousewcushions]

I think meeting him is fine, better the the game-playing suggested upthread.

However do make sure you go into it with no expectations- if you aren't sure that you can remain emotionally detached then think about cancelling.

And also make sure you protect yourself on the off chance that the feelings seem to still be there- take it slowly and don't let him flatter you into getting involved unless you're totally confident he's being genuine and is unlikely to drop you for a better offer.

And have fun- a catch up between old friends sounds lovely!!

[Inappropriatefemale]

I think whilst it’s easy for us to say don’t meet him then if you want to you will but make him beg you to meet and when you do meet him then play hard to get.