Boyfriend relationship with my child

[LilmissA]

I’ve been seeing a guy for 10months, we get on really well & 90% of the time he gets on great with my 4 yr old son.
As any 4yr old he can be moody & cheeky at times & is typical good. My boyfriend takes it to heart when he is grumpy& if my son is in bad form then my boyfriend is instantly in bad form too. He thinks my son dislikes him, which I know he doesn’t.
We were all away for 2 nights with my friends & their child. My boyfriend had a bad experience planted on the time away before we even left. We’d a great few days in my eyes, and my son loved it! Now he did have a moody session when we were going for dinner, not wanting to go, not wanting to sit where we were placed etc. Then came round once he ate, so prob just hangry!!! Now (and in the middle of my sons moodiness when we were away) my boyfriend said he’s never coming away wi us again. Which hurts me as my son is part of me.
I do get that he has a right not to want to spend time all together. He’s in a relationship with me not my son. But i would love us to do stuff as a family.
My boyfriend says that this was the way he was in other relationships too with ex girlfriends with kids.
He thinks I need to be stricter with my son. I think he needs to not get so annoyed when my son is in a bad mood & not take it personally!
Help please.

Congratulations, you have two children instead of one.

You really don't know what to do? Choose the well-being of your child and ditch the immature arsehole. He is showing you very clearly who he is, and it won't get better.

Get rid of him - he doesnt want your son around and thinks he has a right to tell you how to discpline him

He is probably right in that it was how he was with other relationships but that is why they are exes!

I have told him he is acting more the child than my actual child. But again says that’s how he is & if my son was his he would do things differently.

So OP? If it is how he is it still not good enough for you or your child

But i would love us to do stuff as a family.

You’re not a family.
Do yourself and your child a huge favour. Spend a few hours looking at the threads on mumsnet where women have shit relationships with shit men, drag their children into situations where they are uprooted from home and school so that the shit relationship can continue, another unplanned pregnancy happens, the shit man departs the scene and on and on and on ..
It will be time well spent.

Sounds like he potentially is jealous that your child sometimes takes more of your attention. I'd be telling him you already have one kid, you don't need another and that if he can't stand to be second place, without acting like a stroppy baby, he can sod off.

Get rid of him. Your child doesn't deserve to have such an arsehole inflicted upon him. Do you not think you've moved rather fast in 10 months? You don't even know this man properly in such a short time!

Put your child first.

Like someone else has said, you're not a family. I'd be very wary of continuing a relationship with this man. The welfare of your son must come first.

This is minimal and he is great with my son I’m not worried about his well being at all.
It’s come to light as my friend who we were away with over Xmas has asked us to go on a sun holiday. I knew my boyfriend wouldn’t be up for it but thought I’d say anyway. But he’s said he’s not going away with me & my son for a holiday.
Maybe I am love blind, this is my first relationship after splitting up with my sons father so it’s all new to me but i really do love my boyfriend and the time we spend together.

Yet another woman putting a man before her child.

I agree with Wild. Your child doesn't deserve or need this man in his life. Stop rushing into setting up a nuclear family with this bloke, you are a family enough, you and your child, that's a family.

Maybe I am love blind, this is my first relationship after splitting up with my sons father so it’s all new to me but i really do love my boyfriend and the time we spend together

Please don't be one of those women who put their need for a relationship above their child's needs.

Sounds like you've gained another child.

My ex ended things with me because he "couldn't stand" my children (2 teen DS', nothing out of the ordinary behaviour wise.) It hurt. A lot. But slowly slowly I can see that it was for the best. I just hope he doesnt date someone with children again.

Good grief, yet another one who puts a man and the need for 'love' first.

Sadly I marred a similar man child. The resentment he felt for my dc grew and grew. Please leave him before your dc gets further attached and made to feel shit simply for existing.
Sorry op it won't get any better ime.

Put your child first and get rid of the man who clearly doesn’t want him in his life.

If someone didn't like my child I would fuck them off so quickly. How DARE he say your son can't go away with you again? Dump him immediately and plan a lovely weekend trip with your little boy to somewhere fun.

What reason has he given for not wanting to go on holiday with you and your son again?

Cheerio boyfriend!

It's not going to work long term though, is it?

Raise your standards.

How can you not know what to do? I wouldn't have time for someone who treated my dog like this let alone my child.

You need to put your DS first and get rid of the sulky man child. But it doesn't sound like you will.

He thinks my son dislikes him, which I know he doesn’t

Jealous to boot?

Love blind - no, blind - yes. This man is no good to you or your child

Get. Rid.