Dating thread 180 - Deep thoughts on attachment styles, psychology and love bombing. (Oh my!)

[PerfectPretender]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I'm looking forward to seeing mr smile later.

Also, mr straight messaged me again saying how much he misses me and asked to meet me tomorrow. I actually told him NO.

@bangheadhere40 what are you plans do
You think you’ll be dtd later ?

Ok, more help please....sorry...
I ave literally not had a day time date for years, there's usually been alcohol involved in recent dates!
How long do they last? Is it one drink then go? And, how do you end it? A hug..
I am a nervous wreck .

@jane I think we will yes, but my period is due and I can feel twinges so I hope it holds off.

We are going out for dinner, then spending day together tomorrow.

@undecided I normally hug at start and end of a date....normally 2 drinks.

thank you @bangheadhere40
I am REALLY nervous.
have fun with Mr Smile

@undecided don't be...hug at first and introduce yourself. Have one or two drinks hug again and then say thanks....and leave it to them to say if they will be in touch.

Good luck, is it tonight?

It's at 3...

I'm ok with evening dates! This is the first person I have met from the town/city I live and work in, and it is day time; I think I am nervous as I teach and see lots of kids/parents around.
And, he's really good looking.
I tend to gabble, and say stupid stuff when nervous ..great..

Ah my period! What do I do? Tell him....I'm not dtd now...ffs

Is it best to say than just not be up for it? And do I say in person....we both want to dtd

I’ve had my first snog in 20 years with someone other than my ex!
First date was last week, met in a pub for a couple of hours. Then met for coffee and last night was first proper date (food and cinema). I was driving and went in for coffee, had a lovely snog and then I made my excuses as it was late and I had to get home. He’s already asked me when I’m next free. I’m really nervous about the sex bit...I feel old and although I’ve lost loads of weight I still feel ugly and unlovable. On paper we have very little in common but we can actually talk for hours. I feel like I’m 16 again, not in a good way, more in a nervous way

bang yes it's best to say why, it can't be helped. I'd rather know why than wonder why you didn't want to, just tell him when you see him.

@Notcoolmum I bumped into Mr FO this morning. There wasn't time for a chat. But he briefly told me a couple of things that have been going on with his family. They were pretty awful to be honest, so I can see why he feels he needs to give them lots of support.

But it doesn't excuse his inability to pick up the phone and explain this to me.

He's supposed to be calling me this afternoon about it all.

@bangheadhere40 no I wouldn't say anything up front unless perhaps he has booked an expensive hotel. Then I might make a joke about it. Things seem to have really moved on with you and Mr Smile. What happened from him not arranging dates and you seeing others to him saying he loved you and you agreeing to be his GF? I feel like I've missed a thread 😂

@EchoElephant you know him best. Personally for me his flakiness would be a deal breaker. Even if he's a nice man he's not available for a relationship right now and he's showing you that by how he treats you. We all know a text takes seconds.

@Undecidedsofa. Day dates don’t usually last too long. Are you going to the pub ?

@bangheadhere40 oh that sucks.

Good luck on dates this afternoon/evening, I picked up an iron this morning, I tried for a coffee this morning but we’ve settled on Wednesday evening, I think I’m mainly wanting to see him as a distraction from Mr70miles as I really like him!! Is that bad? New iron (mr walking) is more local, good looking but there’s something in his messages, I’m hoping in real life it’ll be better, it’s so hard to work out tone in messages, if keen is really pushy if that makes sense!

Notcoolmum that's what I'll be saying to him.
If he ever calls! I'm trying to keep busy and not keep looking at my phone.

Thanks....I just feel bad as he's so excited about tonight and do am I, and I don't want to put a downer on things. I would rather text him but that seems a bit silly.

@notcoolmum I don't really know how it's happened either 😅

I have really erratic periods so I can't plan, it could be here today gone tomorrow, so I also dont want to say incase it stops.

Is period sex not an option?

@perfect that would feel a little awkward maybe as we haven't dtd yet and would be first time, I don't know! I would feel odd asking him.

I’d see how it goes, I’ve had some really hot groping and pants on fun 🤭

I'd give him the option if it were me- he might not be bothered?

FWB wasn't bothered by periods, we found ways to do everything that we'd do if I wasn't on....his words were 'put a towel down love and crack on' 😂

I was honestly more bothered about it than him.

You could do other things. A blow job is always well received... 😎

I a really strugglin today. A whole bunch of stuff. Stressed about losing job. Hating Ben on my own. Missing feeling part of a team. Wanting to be loved. Wanting attention. Shame at being a single parent. Hating being a single parent. Hating trying to do everything by myself when my ankle hurts and I'm tired and stressed and struggling. Miserable at what's happened to n life and the fact that I have months if it years before I can fall in love and be loved. And really fucking fed up that Mr Hong Kong has health issues that rule him out because I could really bloody like him but it's a deal breaker and makes me feel shitty because they are.

Sorry. Big old brain dump there