Dating thread 180 - Deep thoughts on attachment styles, psychology and love bombing. (Oh my!)

[PerfectPretender]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I guess you're all out on dates while I'm hosting an 8year olds birthday party and a overrun with small boys...

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking dump away on us. That's what we're here for. Well partly anyway... single parenting is hard.

God I'd love to give someone a BJ right now 🤭

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking I know it feels like everyone else is out having fun but we're not. I'm clearing out the family home despite no longer having anywhere to move to. And studying. And thinking about BJs. The only conversation I've had today is on here. If I say I think you're getting more action than some of us all put together maybe you'll feel better... currently I'm struggling to find anyone I even want to meet leg alone a handful like some I could mention 😁

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking feeling low here as well, but I never felt like part of a team so at least I don’t miss that!

Wish me luck...
I feel a bit sick!

Good luck @undecided look forward to an update!

Good luck undecided let us know how it goes and hugs to all those feeling down

Have fun, @undecidedsofa. Relax and enjoy it!

No I'm not having fun either! So dump away 😉
I'm currently installing security cameras after an attempted break in the other morning, fun fun!
Not really been out or done anything for 10 days as I've been ill, but on antibiotics now so should be better soon.
Son is staying with me till next weekend though so looking forward to spending some extra time with him.

I came to realise I did 99% of family life on my own anyway once ex h left 🤷🏼‍♀️.

@bangheadhere40 I’m on the mini pill and bleed on and off not like a full blown period and that’s never been a prob. Maybe just see what happens

I'm definitely not having fun either.

Not had sex in two months and feeling fed up. Kind of just cross with FWB who is all loved up I imagine.

Only been on three dates since then. Mr Spanners has messaged again this morning but I don't get the feeling he's all that fussed.

I've got a child free weekend and oh look, no dates, yet again. I'm cleaning my bedroom (I don't even have my own house anymore s thanks to stbxh, after owning my own home since 21).

Ugh. Showing some solidarity with you @NoMoreWeepingAndWanking and everyone else feeling crap. I'm going to get a massive piece of cake when I'm finished and steal some of my dad's cider. #loser 😂

I’m not having fun if it helps! Working - as fucking usual - and sorting out stuff to take to DDs in their lovely new homes while I rattle about alone in this old, superannuated one. Feeling old. Haven’t heard back from poor dying Mr Cat after I offered to go see him, and matched with someone last night who was also dying and wanted someone to help him spend his money before he goes. FFS. Missing Mr Mad, so life-enhancing if unavailable, and suspecting that Mr Greedy sees me as much as a financial lifeboat as a lover. But these feelings do pass, don’t they? Hold tight everyone!

I've gone back on bumble. That really really isn't fun. I reckon 24 hours and I'll have deleted it. Golf playing potato heads. God help me.

I'm not having all that much fun myself. Mr Ad finally woke up and we went out for a few hours, got some steps in and now we're back at his and he's having a sleep 😐

I know his medication makes him tired and he had a disturbed night as he had an upset stomach but I can't help feel i'd rather be at home getting stuff done than waiting for him to wake up.

I feel like we should be having lots of sex, not naps 🙄

Ex is staying over tonight so I can go out. Nobody to go out with and I'm so tired. He's suggested we watch a film together and I'm so tempted. I really really miss the basic intimacy of watching a film together.

I want to but it's all fake. I shouldn't do it should I?

I'm not in a good place today either. Too much to go into, but the stress is overwhelming at times.

@nomorewheepingandwanking. No don’t do it. Even if you go supermarket go out

I'm so lonely

nomore I agree with jane, I think it will set you back. Can you get a friend to come over, and tell him he doesn’t have to stay? This sort of false intimacy with XH held me back for years, just saying.

sunshine the frustration is oozing out of your posts! Sadly though, people do get ill, and I guess the time to discuss your frustration is not in the moment. Really tough one though.

perfect here a handhold if it helps

nomore a handhold/hug for you too. Keep posting.

I'm just having a moan. I guess because we only see each other EOW and a night in the week of we're lucky, I just don't want to waste the time we have watching him sleep!

This isn't usual though so I need to be more understanding and less selfish. We're going out later with some of his friends for his one year sober birthday.

undecided good luck!

shitwith what you wearing? Have fun

nomore don’t do it. Quick get on meet-up and go out!

leavebefore hear you about the house. I am also renting with no chance of owning again. Bought my own house at 23 but was fleeced by the x!

unambiguous Mr Big isn’t totally gone. We are kind of friends I suppose but I have no plans to see him.

bangshead I probs wouldn’t want to dtd first time when on my period (2nd time no probs) when things start getting hot and heavy I would just tell him and do all the other good stuff

I am checking my phone every 5 mins to see if Mr Fact massages me. Not heard from him today but his phone still isn’t sorted. He does have his DC today too. Really hoping to hear from him later.

What happened to our thread meetup idea. I could do with a laugh tonight 🙃

I'm out of sorts because an old friend from years back texted me out if the blue last night so I had to rehash/summarise my life choices over the past year and she was shocked/surprised and I just couldn't deal with it. Like, yes, I understand it's a huge surprise we've gone from happy family to broken one but behind the scenes wasn't perfect by any stretch and I am too tired to guid someone through the process of then to now, if that.makes sense. It's knocked me for six today somehow.

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking feel free to chat, lots of us understand.

@bangheadhere40 I probs wouldn't have dtd first time on my period either.. just let him know as/when needed..?

Mr Local was lovely, not sure whether he thought the same of me ...So difficult to tell isn't it? Lots of laughs and chat, lasted just over an hour.
hug and 'lovely to meet you' at the end .
I guess I just wait now..?? urgh..