Reported DM to DVLA..... was I wrong?

[Shesalittlemadam]

Hi please be kind! I didn't do this to be malicious. I honestly thought I was doing the right thing, but now I'm not sure...

My DM has had Cornea Transplants on each eye due to a Dystrophy she has. This has vastly improved her vision and after a suitable number of months, she was given the go ahead to continue driving.

She's a fab driver. Used to race in the 60s and knows her way round an engine even! (Not that they are required to be one of course)
In my 36 years I've never known her to have so much as a single bump and only 2 speeding tickets. If no claims bonuses exceeded 15 yrs, then she'd have about 36 to maybe 40+ years!
So yeah, for 75 years of age she is an unusually competent, decent driver.

However,

The one issue she does have, is that when driving at night, she says "I struggle a bit with glare from lights" (quote). Therefore, sensibly, she avoids driving at night. Great. Although if she needs to drive then she will do.
This is what worries me. I've tried talking to her calmly & in a friendly way about not driving after sunset (or on dark days) AT ALL and well, it did not go down well....

So I checked the DVLA website and sure enough, although they are aware of her eye condition, it does say that you must inform them if you suffer from 'Night Blindness' at all.
I asked her if she had and of course, no she hadn't. I got a huge mouthful for even asking...!

Cue more worrying and reading of a horror story article and I submitted a report to the DVLA.....

Today she got the letter and understandably, has Hit. The. Roof!!!! Had a huge go at me about how I've tried to ruin her life and destroy her independence and quite understandably, wont listen to my reasons for doing it. She now is no longer speaking to me. Which I get 🤷🏼‍♀️

Now I'm wondering if what she said she struggled with "glare from lights" is actually the same thing as 'Night blindness??'

I just worry so much that she's going to kill herself or someone else and/or spend the rest of her life in prison 😳

Did I do the right thing??? 😢

Please don't be too harsh, I can take on board criticism if delivered in a reasonable manner!

Thanks

I think you did the right thing, if she can prove to a doctor and the DVLA that she is safe to drive at night then they will give her back her licence.

Far better for her to have some inconvenience than cause an accident.

No I don't think you did the right thing. I'm guessing the DVLA will have revoked her license until she passes a test? You may well have removed her freedom when actually she doesn't have more of a problem with this than anyone else; just chose to mention it to you.

I don't believe your mum's issue is 'night blindness'; it's a problem with the stupidly bright lights nowadays and the fact that more and more people are driving big vehicles so that the bright lights shine directly in your face. No one can see properly under these conditions.

A relative of mine struggles slightly more with headlamp glare than maybe I do, but she takes the sensible step of avoiding driving at night where possible. She has her eyes checked at the hospital every year and they give her the all clear to drive despite her not having perfect vision.

I think you did the right thing as well. You did not personally make that decision; you gave the DVLA more information so they could decide on your mother's suitability to drive. They have deemed her not fit to drive.

Corneal transplants tend to reshape the eye a little in healing, resulting in astigmatism-like flares and sparkle from bright lights in the dark.

If she was coming from non-astigmatic eyesight to this, it's quite an aggravation but not much in the way of dangerous. 30% of people roughly are astigmatic and will get this to some degree. I get it - and I've spent thirty years night driving with no accidents.

She was signed off for driving by the doctors.

You done fucked up.

I think you were unreasonable. Many people suffer with glare from headlights and don't get reported to the DVLA.

I think you overreacted especially since she was signed off to drive.

Yeah, seems a pretty harsh way to go about it too. I know you said you tried talking to her but is the next step after one conversation having her license taken away? Ouch.

There have been quite a few threads on here about people having problems with modern bright headlights. That is not at all the same thing as night blindness.

That's an horrendous thing to do. Many people, me included, find driving at night uncomfortable because of glare, particularly with newer halogen lights.

Not like liking glare is one thing but night blindness is entirely different. No wonder your mum is furious.

Massive over reaction on your part.

While I think you've over reacted. There must be something in your past that caused you too.
I'd think night blindness is a bit more than struggling with the glare from other cars.

I do believe that everyone who drives should have to pass eye tests every 2 years and reaction tests when they get to 55.

Hope she gets her licence back soon.

She may have very "early" cataracts which cause sensitivity to glare long before they impact visual acuity. NOT the same as night blindness at all. Of course she would be fine to drive in daylight.

I'd be upset if my daughter did this. It can take ages to get back the licence, too!

Awful thing to do. I struggle massively with glare, especially on wet nights and those bloody super bright bulbs.

Bloody hell - so she mentioned she hates the glare (which a lot of people do - I do!) and you report her? It sounds like she was aware of her limits and being sensible by not driving at night and should have been trusted to do the same with twilight/dawn/dusk etc. Honestly I think you did the wrong thing and made a big leap. You basically diagnosed her with a condition and reported her based on this

Eek I think you have meddled far too soon and I am not surprised your Mum is furious!

Most drivers struggle with glare at night. Night blindness has more to do with a physical condition related to comes and rods in your eyes. I'm thinking you have basically shafted your DM.

I have bilateral astigmatism so suffer glare from oncoming vehicles. I just drive a bit slower at night. This is not the same as night blindness and I would be fucking furious at your high-handed interference.

Massive overeaction. Youre poor mum. She is signed off to drive and there are other things you can do to deal with glare at night. You can get very effective glasses for about 20 quid on Amazon! I know because I suffer from the same thing and am not even 50. You should have explored these options with her first. I hope she can get the decision reversed and if not, that you are prepared to drive her around wherever and whenever she wants to go somewhere.

Just to clarify, she told you she found glare of headlights a problem. You then informed the DVLA that she had ‘Night Blindness’ - or Nyctalopia as it is known? No, they are not the same thing. She may well need to have a think about whether glare is too much of a problem for her to continue driving but you have given the DVLA false information. Which I would have thought they will take a dim view of.

Dear Mum... I thought I'd remove your freedom to have a life of your own. Signed OP.

You have completely misunderstood night blindness and by being so high-handed, have upset your DM. I'd be furious with you if I were her!!

Echoing what others have said, I can't believe you reported your poor mum for something most people experience

Well I'm glad you're not my dd.
My df has just given up driving at 88 and it hit him hard. He was reasonably safe but a van wrote his car off. Not df's fault.
I told him that if he wanted a new car all I asked was that he would have 1 lesson with an instructor so he had an independent opinion. He decided to stop driving.
If you were worried about your dm you could have done the same or even asked for anti glare coating on her glasses.

Most people struggle a bit with glare from lights at night. It is completely different from night blindness or even a real problem.

Gosh that's awful of you. I'm not surprised your poor mother is furious. Did you really do this? If so, you need to help your mother reverse the situation.