Reported DM to DVLA..... was I wrong?

[Shesalittlemadam]

Hi please be kind! I didn't do this to be malicious. I honestly thought I was doing the right thing, but now I'm not sure...

My DM has had Cornea Transplants on each eye due to a Dystrophy she has. This has vastly improved her vision and after a suitable number of months, she was given the go ahead to continue driving.

She's a fab driver. Used to race in the 60s and knows her way round an engine even! (Not that they are required to be one of course)
In my 36 years I've never known her to have so much as a single bump and only 2 speeding tickets. If no claims bonuses exceeded 15 yrs, then she'd have about 36 to maybe 40+ years!
So yeah, for 75 years of age she is an unusually competent, decent driver.

However,

The one issue she does have, is that when driving at night, she says "I struggle a bit with glare from lights" (quote). Therefore, sensibly, she avoids driving at night. Great. Although if she needs to drive then she will do.
This is what worries me. I've tried talking to her calmly & in a friendly way about not driving after sunset (or on dark days) AT ALL and well, it did not go down well....

So I checked the DVLA website and sure enough, although they are aware of her eye condition, it does say that you must inform them if you suffer from 'Night Blindness' at all.
I asked her if she had and of course, no she hadn't. I got a huge mouthful for even asking...!

Cue more worrying and reading of a horror story article and I submitted a report to the DVLA.....

Today she got the letter and understandably, has Hit. The. Roof!!!! Had a huge go at me about how I've tried to ruin her life and destroy her independence and quite understandably, wont listen to my reasons for doing it. She now is no longer speaking to me. Which I get 🤷🏼‍♀️

Now I'm wondering if what she said she struggled with "glare from lights" is actually the same thing as 'Night blindness??'

I just worry so much that she's going to kill herself or someone else and/or spend the rest of her life in prison 😳

Did I do the right thing??? 😢

Please don't be too harsh, I can take on board criticism if delivered in a reasonable manner!

Thanks

What a dreadful thing to do - absolutely terrible. Shame on you.

Your use of multiple emojis shows that you think it is all great joke.

If my daughter did this to me, I’d not only be furious, I’d struggle to forgive her. That is how bad what you have done is OP. The arrogance, high handedness and sheer ignorance of your actions beggars belief.

You need to do everything in your power to make this right immediately. You need to apologise profusely to your mother, you need to contact the DVLA immediately to explain how you got it wrong and you need to do everything in your power to mitigate the effects on your mother while it gets sorted out. Pay for taxis, drive her anywhere she wants to go, whatever it takes.

Appalling.

Quite the interfering busybody OP, aren't you?

Jesus Christ, what a horrific thing to have done to anyone.

Your mother was signed off by the doctors, so yes, you fucked up.

Getting troubled by glare is not night blindness, and I completely understand why she hit the roof.

I have astigmatism in both eyes. I get problems with glare from headlights in the dark, especially from modern cars with the very bright lights. I correct this with night vision glasses over my normal glasses, the tint reduces the glare for me without reducing my ability to see.

If my DD did this to me, she'd cost me my job due to the commute. No buses, you see.

OP, you need to call DVLA and apologise, say you made a mistake because you didn't actually understand what Night Blindness really is.

Let's hope your mum gets her licence back quickly.

Do the DVLA remove licenses based on someone else's say so? Someone not professional I mean?
Seems bizarre. So if I wanted to start a vendetta against someone I could just write to DVLA and tell them I don't think they're fit to drive?

I can understand reporting someone who was stubbornly driving against medical advice, but this isn't the case here!
She made a casual comment about struggling with night driving, the same way I struggle with motorways, and now she has lost her license!!

No. You were wrong. She does not have night blindness.
You owe her a huge apology and in future you need to check your facts.

I'll go against the grain here, and say that I'd much rather that a driver with a suspected visual defect (or indeed any medical condition that could affect their driving) - even if it turned out to be baseless - was reported and checked over by the appropriate experts. Which is not a panel of MNistas.

Unless things have changed since my DF lost his sight, the letter will require the DM to have an eye test. If she's all OK, then she can carry on driving. If not, well, it's for the best.

I'm sure the OP didn't act spitefully or with no thought, and clearly they are best placed to know if their concerns were valid or not.

from wiki Nyctalopia also called night-blindness, is a condition making it difficult or impossible to see in relatively low light

I think you have heard "difficulty with glare" and assumed night blindness. A case of putting 2 and 2 together and making 500.

A better plan would have been to have encouraged her to discuss her health with her GP or optometrist.

You need to try to make this right, but helping her access the investigations she needs. Privately if needs be.

I am going to be as polite as I can be in the circumstances OP, but this is not going to be easy.

You have done an awful thing.

I had an op on both my eyes.I think it's the same as your Mum, and I'm probably the same age as her. It has been life changing for me, truly life changing.

I was told that it does mean flare (in rings) round lights at night but that I was perfectly legal to drive, just to bear it in mind. I can drive perfectly safely at night because I am totally used to it. I drove 2 days after the op going to a night duty with no cars around.

I know a lot of people who talk about the glare at night. They don't particularly like it.

If my adult DCs reported me because of the Op I had, I am not sure how I would forgive them.

Why did you do this?
Why did you not give her a chance to get used to night driving with her new eyes?
Is your relationship that bad with your DM that you decided to stick the knife in?

p.s. This is me being polite

Night blindness is not the same as struggle with glares from lights!!!!

Google that shit first. Before you hand someone in and relinquish their freedom!

Good god. Keep your nose out

The DVLA do not take a licence away on the basis of a report: the letter will be summoning OP's DM for an eye test. If she hasn't got any problems with her sight then she'll be able to continue driving.

I would be furious. Apologize profusely.

That's what I'm wondering TheOrig. Persumably they look into it and then only remove the licence if its proven that there is a problem? If that's the case then I don't think the op has necessarily done anything wrong because if her mum is safe to drive there will be no harm done.

Did you not think that, given that she's such an experienced driver, if she was really struggling with an eye condition, she would make the decision to stop driving herself?

You've properly overdone it here OP.

I struggle with glaring lights at night when driving and l don't even wear glasses ! IMHO these awfully bright LED lights that are in cars now , cause most normal sighted ppl problems .Your poor Mum!

p.p.s I have just read your DM is 75. I'm not that age but I am older than lots of posters on here. How mean to take away her independence from her at that age

I would have bought her a pair of night driving glasses -the yellow ones- they’re amazing instead of reporting her 😥

SHE HAS NOT HAD HER LICENCE REVOKED

Just an FYI

What an awful thing to have done. I'd be bloody furious with you.

Incidentally there was a thread on here a couple of weeks ago about how many people have an issue with the super bright headlights in a lot of new cars. By your reckoning most people are suffering from night blindness

Apt username. I think if I done something on this level to my mum then she would take me off her will she'd be so furious.

There was a news report only last week about how all drivers struggle with facing the new Xenon headlights on cars nowadays. Your DM is no different.

You've over reacted. I would be annoyed if I were her too.