Dating thread 179 - am I doing it right?

[Chochito]

Looked for the new thread but couldn't find it...

I enjoy reading these threads, however no one mentions their ages? You all seem to be active on OLD and getting lots of dates. I have been doing the same for near on 10 years now, started off well, but now approaching late 50's and it has really dwindled. The ones I find attractive never message, I seem to be left with the dregs and only get messaged by men I am not in the least bit attracted to. I have lowered my standards and cannot go any lower, I will not respond to the majority who cannot even string a sentence together. I look younger than my age, am slim and I do not look like the back end of a bus but am failing badly.

As long as they are taller than me that’s ok. So I go above 5 10 otherwise I would be doubtful 😂.

@crimsonlake. Join the club. Mostly the ones my age are way out of my league or I’m way out of theirs (and I’m not high in the league stakes). I’m sick of seeing men on the top of mountains, hiking, jet skiing...or slobbing in the pub. Where are the middle men? There must be some in between surely?
Can someone tell me how tinder works? I’m nit confident enough to swipe right...does that mean it’s pointless me doing it??

Aw Mr Media asked me out again today and Mr Fast a new iron also wanted to meet but I look and feel like death so politely refused. Think Mr Fast will already be out with someone else Haha, he seemed in a hurry to meet someone. Mr Media and I chatted for a bit then he went off to do something else. I do look forward to his messages but wonder how to tactfully bring up the "I just see you as a friend" thing

That's hard @Undecidedsofa

I think if it's to be, obstacles like distance don't matter (though my carbon footprint is shocking!) I would definitely be re-evaluating in your circumstances

@Mylifestartstoday yes! You need to get a match to message and you'll only get one if you swipe right.

@crimsonlake 51. I hear you. I went younger but that doesn't have a future. Men in their 50s seem to be dire.

@Undecidedsofa

I recommend Elite .... worked for me. Just trying to work out how quickly it is socially acceptable to move across the country . Oh and sort out the (adult) kids

@crimsonlake

I'm late 40's to be honest getting dates was easy, I just didn't like them, they were too thick to be brutally honest. Struck lucky after 3 months, could be for keeps .

I did find a lot of lying about ages, and 60+ year olds messaging me despite me being significantly younger.

@Mylifestartstoday you can pay for tinder and it will show you who swiped you.

Checking in on the new thread.

I have a few irons but I really can’t be bothered to go on a date (which is bad), I need a bit of a kick to get myself back out there, I just feel fat and grumpy after Christmas and have lost any confidence I had.

@Mylifestartstoday yeh you need to swipe but unless they pay for it they won't know you have until they swipe on you so nothing to lose. After the first few the only hard part is finding someone you like enough to swipe!

Just popping on to say good luck @shitwithsugaron for your date tonight! Look forward to a loo update.

Mylifestartstoday, completely agree with you.
The ones I am vaguely attracted to seem to be in their 40's, too young for me even if any where interested. I cannot believe that I am only now contacted by men who are either much older than they say they are or have really gone downhill once they hit 50. I look at their photos and think wtf? Also zero effort made with their messages. I feel like stale bread.

lovemusic I feel your pain - I'm still on apps but would be reluctant to go on any dates even if I got any matches as just feel fat and out of shape after a down period on run up to and over Christmas 🤦‍♀️

Had a fit younger guy suggest meeting up and I've replied I dont think I'm what hes looking for 🤦‍♀️

Yes @shitwithsugaron I hope you have a great time on your date, good luck 🍀

Go you! Now you'll be able to wear both outfits 😂

@crimsonlake I'm 31 and upped my age limit on bumble to see what some of the older guys were like. There are some in their 40s who look good (also makes me think some who claim to be in their 30s are lying about their age) but over 50 and they're a grim lot aren't they! No Johnny Depp's in there to be found 😂

Go for the guys in their 40s, you aren't too old?! Madonna has a 25 yr old boyfriend doesn't she? Good on her I say

@crimsonlake. It seems like when the men hit 50 they go massively downhill or start becoming gym bunnies (who are then too fit for me). And I won’t even mention the men who have messaged who are married (which given my ex had an affair makes my blood boil). Day one and I’d blocked a dozen of them. My profile picture must reek of ‘desperate middle aged woman’

I'm chatting to a guy who seems so sweet. Hes absolutely massive (muscular), very tall and I feel really intimated by his body, and also a little dubious its him

crimsonlake I’m 57, I’m sure you’re right about a lot of the men in their 50s but not all. And I’ve been pleasantly surprised by some being much better-looking in real life than in their photos, so it may be worth persevering. At 58 my FWB looked like my chemistry teacher in his photo - short and grey - and I almost didn’t meet him. In real life he was 6’2 and absolutely gorgeous. I literally couldn’t breathe 🥰 I fancied him so much

Crimsonlake, I'm 54 and definitely find most men do not age well. But also worth remembering that most of them are clueless about how to take a decent photo or dress well for their photos, never mind the background decor! So I do try to try and visualise how they might look straight on and smiling in real life rather than frowning as they take a picture of their nasal cavity!

My age range is 45 to 59, my preference is too meet someone between 50 and 55.

So I have 2 dates next week. Date 1 is a Tinder date on Tuesday night. Semi retired ex police man, he lives about 1 to 1.5 hours away and currently works at weekends (my main time I have free and want to date), but he's tall, I like his photos and we got on well on the phone. I'll call him Mr Police.

Date 2 Is a Bumble date, lives about 15 minutes from me. Works full-time in HR. Again tall, my type and good connection on the phone.

Both are avid gym goers, which I'm not due to permanent injury but I do like to take care of myself and used to do lots of exercise, so I like that approach to life.

I'll report back!

What kind of distance radius is everyone using on these apps? I tend to stick to 20 miles. Is that too close?

theresgottobemore I use 20 miles too as dont want to spend all my limited free time travelling up and down the country

I use 3 miles! But I'm in London.. I'm not travelling to West London plus I wouldn't get on with someone from that side of London.