Dating thread 179 - am I doing it right?

[Chochito]

Looked for the new thread but couldn't find it...

Thanks for your thoughts, it’s him that’s moaned a few times about how unfair it is we live so far apart, but I’m like it’s only 70 miles, fair enough 70 miles with a good bit of m25 so not easy but I’m not looking for too heavy anyway! I’ve told him if he lived closer we’d have had coffee by now and he agreed we definitely would have, so we’ll see.

Must go and look at this site, I’m working on the fact my father was emotionally unavailable and quite disapproving and by coincidence I’m intimidated by men, and find it really hard to relax around them until I know them well. I’m not sure OLD is helping that!!

If he says it again tomorrow what do I do? I don't want to make him feel rejected but I'm not ready to say it yet

@bangheadhere40 definitely be wary. Do you have any other concerns about his behaviour? Any niggles?

@perfect nothing else, absolutely nothing! He's lovely, funny and I fancy him a lot.

Just tell him you like him a lot, but you're not ready for the L word, see how he reacts and go from there. That's what I would do.

Oh god this is wayyyy harder than I thought. Just bringing back loads of memories

Waiting for mr perfect... hope the motorway is clear! It's like being 20 again

@okiedokieme believe me, we're all waiting for Mr Perfect

Yes @bangheadhere40 it's a red flag. You don't know each other. It's the very definition of love bombing. I'd be very worried about a grown man I'd met 3x saying something like that.

If it’s about recharging yourself then I am 100% an introvert. I did not know that!
I literally never need any company to do anything any time 😂 and I can find company annoying
But then I do like people sometimes and I am outgoing

@bangheadhere40
I would say you are flattered but it’s quite soon and you are letting things grow over time. That’s not a rejection

I used to think I needed time alone to recharge I now know I isolate and what I actually need to do is connect with someone!

Thanks all, he is lovely though. I said a comment my lightbulbs were out in my kitchen, he drove an hour to sort them today to just stay for an hour.

I used to feel lonely. If I had no weekend plans I would get upset. Now I love it if I have nothing to do!

Mr Ad said the L word quite early. I didn't say it back straight away but did the next day as I felt the same way. He didn't expect me to say it back but is someone who is very open with his feelings.

5 months later and all is good ☺️
I'm going out with work friends tonight then driving to his at about midnight to spend the weekend with him.

I think as long as he doesn't just expect you to say it back then see how things go and take it at your pace.

@sunshine yes he is very open with feelings too...good about mr Ad, have a lovely weekend

Just to say wow to everyone sharing their stories, and thank you...I feel a lot less on my own in terms of my situation.
I am totally on my own with DD - emotionally unavailable and hypochondriac mum about 150 miles away, my dad is about 5,000 miles away. I have some good friends but no one really 'there' - I have worked FT since DD was born and been on my own for nearly 7 years, so not always easy to make and maintain strong friendships - it is really tough isn't it.

@bangheadhere40 he defo said he’s in love with you and not he loves seeing you or whatever ? It is very soon but maybes he’s genuine 🤷🏼‍♀️. Just see what happens Tomrrow.

I hope everyone has good dates, time with partners or gets chatting to someone great online

I’m waiting for me gray / g 🤷🏼‍♀️ Not sure he’s a g I just don’t know. Anyway in an hour I’ve sorted the house , got ready and changed the bed. He got in from work at 5 and will be another hour 😂🤷🏼‍♀️ What do men do

@jane nope he said it was love at first sight. He is a very open person and direct, which I like as hate games etc. I do think he is genuine as he is an open book really.

Good luck with Mr gray

I started a new thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3792026-Dating-thread-180-Deep-thoughts-on-attachment-styles-psychology-and-love-bombing-Oh-my?watched=1

For some reason the wizard of Oz is stuck in my head....lions and tigers and bears, oh my! (It may or may not be wine o'clock already)

@bangheadhere40 thanks it’s all good just all these modern dating terms mess with my head 😂😂.

I guess if that’s what he feels then he’s said it but you take your own pace

Tbh I don't actually like wine, but I've finished my Bailey's off and then had a gin.

I'm going to fill the thread now.

Happy weekend! Come tell us about your dates in the new thread!!!