Dating thread 178 - where we launch into the new year with new hopes

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Act daft and say what did we say about meeting next time ?

Good idea Jane if I do I will do it in a jokey way ( not like I've been obsessing about it all day on MN) 😁

Yeah that's me too so scared of rejection it's easier not to ask! I think if you asked him for the last two dates it's not unreasonable to hang back and see if he steps up to ask you this time, especially since you've dropped heavy hints! Give him a few days and see what he does next and in the meantime try not to stress!

Oh ok if there was a vague plan to meet up on Saturday there's no harm in clarifying, I would just text him 'so, Saturday?' and leave it at that. That way he knows you're interested in seeing him again and you're also giving him a chance to step up and sort out the specifics

Same as you’d do with a friend if you weren’t sure on arrangements 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’ve taken a bit of my own advice on speaking up. Mr gray and I text daily but on a weekend I always initiate and he replies short answers a long time later. This is due to having him kids. Now I didn’t want to stop texting him
And him think something changed. So I messaged him now and said I’d not gojng to message him weekends as I know he’s busy and doesn’t need small talk messages so he said Monday he’s always free so we can have an on the phone or in person catch up each week.

When you meet someone who you think you like and vice versa, but have been generally seeing a few other people very casually, when do you stop the latter?

Go @Jane1978xx I like it no more bs small talk texting ! On the phone or in person is definitely the way to go!

@chocito, if you like them stop, has he mentioned it?

@bangheadhere40 it's easy to read too much into replies, or lack of especially after just one or two dates, where there's a fine line between being too keen, and not appearing interested.

As a guy, I try not to be too pushy asking to meet again especially if it's been mentioned that I've been too keen. But then again, you have dropped some pretty big hints so I'm surprised he hasn't said more about it - but maybe he's just bad at reading hints!

I'm also flattered when a women asks me out - today I've had two of my matches on Bumble suggest meeting for a drink soon, which I have absolutely no problem with.

@cat he has deleted the app, says he likes me ..I did potentially blow him out tomorrow as his kids were there, and take the Mickey for being too keen. He seems so confident though.

Glad you on bumble, go for it! Did you send the text?

I'm just going to say, so when di you fancy seeing each other again? Then go and die of embarrassment if nothing comes of it.

@bangheadhere40 that all sounds good then! And sometimes confidence can be a bit of front - especially if you like someone. I've always been confident face to face with Miss Confusing, but on the end of WhatsApp it all goes to pieces :D

No - I've chickened out of sending it to her! Part of me thinks I've done so well making it to day 3, and another day won't hurt - but then another part of me thinks she is insecure, and might be wondering why I've not been in touch and thinking I've lost interest (after all, she got really freaked out a month ago as she was convinced I didn't fancy her).

Good plan!

Okay interesting, he's so confident or so I thought but who knows!

If it's a guy you really like and fancy then there's no such thing as them being too keen! That's just an excuse we women use to let you down gently when we don't like/fancy you! My most recent ex ltr was brilliant in the beginning we met online and on every date he would set up the next date so there was never any worry about would we see each other again and where and when and i really appreciated that I wish everyone dated like that! He was keen, I was keen, we both always knew where we stood with each other and there was no bs

@cat well done btw

I am in person but then fall apart over the messages☹

@bangheadhere40 good idea - at least there's no room for confusion there. After all, if you meet on a dating site, the expectation is to actually meet up and go on dates especially if they say they like you - so it's perfectly acceptable to ask the question.

@bangheadhere40 not sure it is well done, it's just dragging things on for at least another day

Dating would be so less stressful without WhatsApp and text messages to worry about!

He told me once I am confusing, what if I am Miss Confusing too. 😁

I hate texts and WhatsApp

He said I am stand offish one minute and cuddly the next. I'm just scared really....I think I need to tell him.

I agree communication is too easy nowadays and ironically instead of making it easier it actually creates so much more potential for things to go wrong in the early stages. Personally I keep things to meeting in person and talking on the phone or texting, I refuse to WhatsApp with dates, and I'm probably just about old enough to get away with that! It's not an option if you're younger I know. In my teens and twenties if someone wanted to see you they had to ask you in person or call you on the landline! some of them even used to write you a handwritten letter!

Just popping back to say Mr Hair turned out to be a time-waster. I knew it was heading that way so subtly pushed the issue. I'd prefer to have the truth confirmed than waste my time. I'm disappointed because I was really hoping he'd be different. Ha!

Time for me to take a break from dating again. I'll be back in a few months and hope many more of you are loved up and moving on.

Bye for now

My boyfriend I had when I was 17 was 19 and at uni and we used to write to each other. I burnt the letters when he dumped me I wish I hadn’t now. So it was Always at least 3-4 day for a reply. Now we see blue ticks and loose our minds 😂