Dating thread 178 - where we launch into the new year with new hopes

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Menora definite bullet dodged. He's really not getting it is he.

Lots to catch up on!

But @TheCatWithTheHat I honestly don't think this is her being depressed- she just isn't interested. If it were me I'd rather walk away with my dignity in tact than keep trying, even just one last time, when it's going to be futile.

As for who asks who out, this is what I live about OLD. Asking guys out is way easier through a screen 😂 what's hard is actually getting them to commit to the date!

Equal Is fine but don’t hold back and wait too long. I think for some men they are overly worried about coming onto strong

@bangheadhere40 I am so with you what is it with all the phone abuse/messaging abuse?! You don't really know me, I don't really know you. We've been on none/one/a couple of dates. I don't need to know everything about your life and you don't need to know everything about mine. Are you asking me on a date here or not? Either shit or get off the pot basically!!!

I used that phrase with Mr Straight...I read it on here, but I said piss or get off the pot!

@jane he doesn't seem the time of being scared of coming on strong...but has made jokes that he is coming on too strong. I guess that's why this is a difference, maybe he's scared too?!

the type

I think so or worried about rejection maybe make a more general comment about meeting up again but not a specific thing. But it shouldn’t be so hard thinking

I have done, I've said I want to get to the restaurant we never got to last time, various stuff without trying to tie him down.

He has been messaging me all day, I should just bloomin ask him.

Yeah just do it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Honestly I think you have given him enough there to bite @bangheadhere40

@Notcoolmum that's what I thought! And I need to know that he wants to. He could always say when am I next free without being pushy.....

I'm sure he will @bangheadhere40 when he starts to miss you and realises you have nothing set up. I think we are similar so I will go against the grain of others and suggest you wait.

You have to do what you feel comfortable with and he has to do what he feels comfortable with and the two communication styles have to complement each other, otherwise it's not going to work. In the vast majority of cases at this early days stage in the dating game I would be wanting the other person to step up and lead ideally, it's not a man/woman or a sexist thing it's just who I am as a person, saying that if I knew the other person didn't feel comfortable taking the lead and I was confident they were interested in me and I liked them enough I would be prepared to try to give taking the lead a go, but it's not what would come naturally to me

I think it’s ok to wait but I’d rather ask and then have a date or not than be sat wondering or miss out.

I wish I was more like you @Jane1978xx I'd probably get to go on more dates if I was! I don't have a problem with asking the online guys for a first date, I think the sooner you meet them in person the better if you think there might be any potential there, there'sno point wasting time just online messaging back and forth when you might not actually have any chemistry irl

Maybe as I have the last 2 times suggested when he expects it and could be wondering why I'm not, who knows. Why is this all so hard.

If I don't like them as much I will, it's when I start to like them i get scared

Just remembered there was another guy I was messaging a couple of days ago and we'd said about going for a drink tonight. Messaged him at lunchtime today- nothing.

It's just so frustrating. How on earth are you meant to date as a single parent?

Maybe if you asked twice he now sees that as your job to arrange. Maybe not right but as long as he’s saying yes (unless he’s busy) then you still get the dates.

It’s just my approach in life with anything 🤷🏼‍♀️ Don’t ask and don’t get

I don't know! I might ask him, but also explain that I do like to know the other person is interested.

How to be confident not clingy I have not yet mastered.

I’m not good at that or worrying about why I’ve not had a message back when People have been online but I like to be clear about what I want

Oh shit, I've remembered when I mentioned Saturday he said he had kids but to come down and he would get away. I said no as it's his kid time.

Maybe he thinks I've blown him off?

If you set up the first 2 dates then I definitely wouldn't set this one up @bangheadhere40
If he wants to see you again he will ask.

I set up the specifics, he did want to see me though. Think I may have misjudged