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Original poster

AIBU to be amazed how people find new partners

288 replies

PotteryLottery · 28/12/2019 11:49

A couple with teen kids split up and are both now with new people, within the year.

If that were me, I know I'd be single for some time, if not forever.

How do they do it???

OP posts:
aroundtheworldyet · 30/12/2019 21:56

I don’t understand it either. I’ve been single for ages. No fucker wants to go out with me!

Eustacecraig · 30/12/2019 21:58

@Ritascornershop I'm 31 and have been told I'm attractive. No one ever chats me up. My friend though is chatted up every time we go out. I certainly don't think she's particularly more attractive than me so I'm not sure what it is. I think TirannahRex is spot on. I think some women are better at giving out flirty vibes when they want to. I've been told that I look haughty and intimidating to men. Fuck knows what I'm meant to do about that. I don't even pay any attention to men when I'm out, but some vibe must be going out.

Ritascornershop · 30/12/2019 22:26

I’ve been told I look intimidating too, although my friends tell me I’m really friendly. Maybe it’s bitchy resting face extraordinaire?

IdiotInDisguise · 30/12/2019 22:28

I’m absolutely rubbish at flirting, I don’t think anyone has ever approached me in real life to chat me up.

jupiteroo · 30/12/2019 22:29

Enjoying this thread.

I’ve been contentedly single for a year. I’m mid-40s and loving the no-compromise lifestyle. The last thing I wanted after my previous relationship ended was to jump into another one.

But like other pp, I worry about the forthcoming empty nest, and would like someone to share life with when DC are older. And the sooner you meet someone, the sooner you start to build the shared memories and experiences that bond you over time.

Plus my appearance is starting to fade..Smile

Ritascornershop · 30/12/2019 22:34

@SilverSurfer2020 - I think it would be a bit outing to say ... sort of tech kind of thing.

I think part of why men will come on to women decades younger is that films and whatnot tell them it’s normal & partly because they’re maybe less realistic about their chances.

I see plenty of gorgeous young men about, but I can’t attract someone my own age, I’d hardly have a shot with someone decades younger (people generally think I’m 10 years younger than I am, but a 25 year old is not going to falling for a woman 45-55).

DullPortraits · 30/12/2019 22:37

I know a couple who were together for best part of 20 years. Had a house and kid together and all she ever wanted was for him to propose but he said marriage wasn't for him etc when their little one was 3 he left her and within 2 years of the split he was living with and married to someone else. Also a friend from school was with her childhood sweetheart for many years had 2 children together and he died very suddenly a couple of years ago. Her absolute world ended as you can imagine and there were many concerns for her wellbeing as she struggled with her grief. She is now living with someone else and pregnant with his baby. Not saying no one is entitled to move on and be happy but it just shows people do and can.

Makesomenoiseforthevengaboys · 30/12/2019 22:47

@KnowMenClature Whats wrong with a bit of fun? Not for you, but no need to be judgemental really.

ItFigures · 30/12/2019 22:52

I don’t get it either and particularly when children are involved. It must be damaging to the DC having different people in their mum/dads lives on rotation.

Eustacecraig · 30/12/2019 23:15

I know a couple who were together for best part of 20 years. Had a house and kid together and all she ever wanted was for him to propose but he said marriage wasn't for him etc when their little one was 3 he left her and within 2 years of the split he was living with and married to someone else.

Best thing anyone ever told me is that when a man says to you 'I don't want commitment' or 'I don't want to get married', the 'to you' is silent

Jane1978xx · 30/12/2019 23:18

@ItFigures in the vast majority of cases children don’t know 🤷🏼‍♀️. I go on dates but my children are at their dads or grandparents

SilverSurfer2020 · 30/12/2019 23:39

@Ritascornershop

Ah, could you say it in PM (no worries, if not, I'll just go with "tech" Wink).

Although I see younger attractive men, the likelihood of them being interested in me is only part of the reason I wouldn't eye them up/come into them ... But also that my brain kind of ruled them out immediately (with "young enough to be my son", eww" etc.) Those men don't seem to have that.

IdiotInDisguise · 30/12/2019 23:57

I would never introduce my child unless I’m clear we have a good chance of a healthy serious relationship, but I wouldn’t recommend waiting too much either. You really don’t want to fall in love like an idiot just to find out later on that your child and your partner are not compatible or you are not compatible with his.

Macca84 · 31/12/2019 00:23

Absolutely nothing wrong with that @Jane1978xx - jealous of your energy! I tend to get into my pjs once I get home from work Grin

KnowMenClature · 31/12/2019 00:34

You've lost me. What judgemental exactly?

EmmiJay · 31/12/2019 01:13

I'm a relationship bouncer too. I cannot settle with one guy for too long because I get 'bored' and distance myself, then we call time on it and remain friends or at least talk if we see each other - no bad blood. I don't want the marriage or anything like that because I suppose what most people want to do as a couple, I've done it by myself. I don't even flirt, I'm just funny and open, have an even face and great boobies🤣 that seems to draw them in at a steady rotation and I'm cool with that.

Eustacecraig · 31/12/2019 01:39

Where do you find them though, @EmmiJay?

Scarsthelot · 31/12/2019 02:13

I found my dp in my best friends kitchen making a brew. Grin

You could try hanging round in friends kitchens until a hot, single relative turns up. Grin

Though I purposely remained single for a few years after my marriage split up, I had a lot of offers and a few casual FWB types. I usually ended becaus the men wanted more. I am not particularly attractive. Size 16 single mum, normal looking.

I do however, talk to everyone. Most men assume I am flirting, even if I am just chatting in general to them. Though all my friends tell me they can see I am not flirting, just talking.

Men seem to think if you pay attention, you must fancy them and if you fancy them, then they must respond in kind and hope to at least get a Shag. Then I find that men are far more interested in wanting a relationship when the women isnt fussed. Its weird

EmmiJay · 31/12/2019 08:11

@Eustacecraig Anywhere. Shopping, restaurants, social media etc. It does take alot of charm, a healthy build and a nice face for me to give them my contact details though.

Jane1978xx · 31/12/2019 08:42

@Macca84 I find the energy 😂

Weirdomagnet · 31/12/2019 09:24

@Zofloramummy- what you said (on page2!) 100%

So many like minded people here 💪.

Can't think of anything worse than having to compromise myself (or my child) again for yet another one who's just not worth it.

Cbfa, and that's the way I'll stay!

aroundtheworldyet · 31/12/2019 12:26

@EmmiJay
How though!! I do all of those things. No one has ever approached me. Ever. Maybe I’m just ugly!

dottiedodah · 31/12/2019 15:02

The trouble with "moving on " so quickly ,is that it will often backfire! So many people have to meet someone, and cant bear to be single at all .I wonder if they let it be known they are single and friends matchmake maybe ? or they are all on POF !

EmmiJay · 31/12/2019 15:36

@aroundtheworldyet I don't mean to laugh but I had to! Obviously some men are a little bit more confident and will approach you or try to strike up a conversation in passing. I will either keep it brief with them or have a bit of bants and give them my number if they ask for it.

IdiotInDisguise · 31/12/2019 16:23

I wonder if they let it be known they are single and friends matchmake maybe?

I had to laugh at that one... it comes a time when nobody knows a single friend they could introduce. But, there was a time a friend told me about this lovely guy who was wonderful and had just split from his wife. She had kindly invited him to our weekly drawing class but said that he was very shy to start with...

I don’t know how shy he was, he look pleasant on the first class but he arrived wearing green eyeshadow and nail polish to the second class Grin

It can happen, but honestly, the chances of finding Mr Right are much higher if you have a much bigger pool of posible candidates.

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