He says when he meets someone ...he will stop speaking to me..stop it now?

[xmasevebirthdaygirl]

I've been chatting daily to a guy for 6 months.
We have been out a lot and slept together but he isn't calling it dating.
He is still sleeping with other girls and texts multiple women.
He stayed over last night and said tonight a girl (il call her Alice) was picking him up at 6pm for a drive.
I asked are you into this girl ?
He replied "no if I was I would stop speaking to you"
So I responded .."what's the point in all of this,why are you jealous if I talk to other guys yet your saying If you were into this girl you would stop speaking"
He said "I don't get feelings for anyone,I've got my guard up,I'm happy being like this,no ties to anyone,if I feel like I'm getting too close,I back off"
(He's done this to me)
I have feelings for him and must cry over the situation daily.
I'm seeing him next week again and my friends are telling me to say I'm done with this situation ...if he doesn't want just me then walk away.
What do I do?

Sorry cross posts....
You are going to stop it... have you blocked him yet?

Do I block without saying anything or explain why ?
Or am I giving him a chance to maybe bullshit me ?

Perhaps one message saying its over and that you want no further contact with him. Not to contact you again please. No need to give reasons.

Then block.

Just block and delete.

You know you can make a decision on your own? You don't need anyone telling you what to do.

You're an adult and you can do what you want.

When you send a message / block be prepared he may tell you what you want to hear as he likes things as they are (daily ego stroking / attention and regular sex with no commitments).

Just block. If you send a message just send him something saying "Don't want to hear from you. Bye." Nd block immediately. Do not wait for a reaction.

The more you continue to see blokes who tell you outright they don't want what you want, the more confidence you lose and the more likely it is you'll do it again.

"Hey, I've had a think and we want different things. I'm going to take a break from seeing people and invest in a long term relationship when I want to. Hope everything works out for you, thanks for respecting my decision."

Then immediately block.

This is horrible but comes from a good place... he really won't care too much! So once it's done it's done.

Everyone you see who doesn't want long term sets you a step back from meeting someone who does.

Can you see that?

So you're just going to let him use you, sleep around and cry about it every day until he finds someone he likes better and cuts you out completely. There is literally no other way this is going.

The question you need to ask yourself is why do you even want someone like this in the first place?

If you actually had a relationship with this scratcher do you think it would go any other way than him cheating on you with woman after woman?

Every person on this thread and your friends have told you to do the same thing. Block, delete, move on and go to an STD clinic asap to get tested.

You are ripping your own (already broken) self esteem to shreds by continuing contact, if you can't see that I don't know what to tell you.

Do you think it's because I'm just not who he wants to be with?

I don’t know and I don’t care. Why spend your time trying to figure out who he wants to be with?

Figure out who you want to be with (what you want, what you don’t want, what you like, when and with whom do you feel good and happy rather than anxious or confused), pursue your own interests, career, friends.

Fine the people in your life who fit these criteria, including a boyfriend. There are seven billion people on this planet, about half of whom are men. Why spend energy analysing this guy?

Plenty of people have multiple partners and are not shitty about it. There is nothing inherently wrong with not wanting more than casual sex with a variety of people but those who do it responsibly don't behave like this nasty, inadequate man. They treat all their partners with courtesy and kindness and, if someone clearly wants more than they are willing to offer, they kindly but firmly walk away.
This man isn't someone who wants a lot of different partners because he likes having casual sex; this man hates women and what he wants is to keep on hurting them. That's why he keeps telling OP all about the other women he's having sex with, despite her asking him not to. For him it's not even how many women he can stick his dick in, its about how many women are sitting at home crying because of him. Every encounter is a contest to him, and he 'wins' by messing with women's heads and making them desperate for his attention.

Men like this also pick women who are already a bit vulnerable, who have low self-esteem and are a bit naive, because tougher women might shag him once or twice but wouldn't fall for his bullshit. He's probably not all that good in bed anyway.

I asked are you into this girl?
He replied "no if I was I would stop speaking to you". So he’s told you that he would be willing to be exclusive with someone and cut off all the other women if he liked them enough?

OP, I’ve been where you are. I promise you, nothing lies down this road except heartbreak. And the longer you leave it, the worse the heartbreak will be. He is not going to change. Eventually he’ll meet someone he does want to be exclusive with and he’ll be off, leaving you in a heap on the floor. I know you think he’s wonderful when he spends time with you. But is he really? Or is it that you’re clinging onto the scraps he’s throwing you and thinking that’s he’s lovely simply because he’s not actively hurting you. Are they butterflies you’re getting? Or pangs of anxiety? Is it love? Or Limerance?

You want to tell him you’re cutting him off because it’s giving him the opportunity to stop you. There’ll be that small part of you that hopes he’ll tell you he’ll change and can’t live without you. Your only hope is to cut him off without explanation.

Block, move on with your life.

Sorry if I've missed this but I'd be interested to know you're age...only because when I was in my 20s I'd be feeling exactly the same as you and I wish I'd had people/advice around me to tell me to just block and delete.

You know the way he is treating isn't right and there is no amount of advice that will convince you otherwise. You will continue this awful toxic relationship. Once you find your strength to finally realise how much it is destroying you and stopping you from finding true happiness you'll look back and thing WTAF. Why did I ever give that bloke any energy. But that's down to you to find. It's a frikkin epiphany and sooooo liberating. I truly hope you find it soon.

this man hates women and what he wants is to keep on hurting them. That's why he keeps telling OP all about the other women he's having sex with, despite her asking him not to.

A bully who likes hurting you, OP.
Please tell us you've blocked him so you can get out of this trap.

He is a tosser.

Please, be kind to yourself and get rid.

He isn't worth it.

Just block him, he will only reel you back in if you start a conversation.