He says when he meets someone ...he will stop speaking to me..stop it now?

[xmasevebirthdaygirl]

I've been chatting daily to a guy for 6 months.
We have been out a lot and slept together but he isn't calling it dating.
He is still sleeping with other girls and texts multiple women.
He stayed over last night and said tonight a girl (il call her Alice) was picking him up at 6pm for a drive.
I asked are you into this girl ?
He replied "no if I was I would stop speaking to you"
So I responded .."what's the point in all of this,why are you jealous if I talk to other guys yet your saying If you were into this girl you would stop speaking"
He said "I don't get feelings for anyone,I've got my guard up,I'm happy being like this,no ties to anyone,if I feel like I'm getting too close,I back off"
(He's done this to me)
I have feelings for him and must cry over the situation daily.
I'm seeing him next week again and my friends are telling me to say I'm done with this situation ...if he doesn't want just me then walk away.
What do I do?

Wow, pick your self respect (and knickers) off the floor and ditch him

He said he's had this convo with so many women over the years.
He said there's no point in me trying to change him but then he invites me out and messages me all the time.

What part of this are you struggling with?

He asks you out cos he wants a shag and he knows he'll get one. He's completely honest with you about not wanting a relationship with you.

Are you expecting him to do the right thing, knowing you're into him and he isn't into you, and refrain from booty-calling you? I hate to break it to you, but he's not that nice a person.

I know it's difficult when you have feelings for someone to let them go but he doesn't deserve you.

Have you read"He's Just Not that Into You?". I recommend it.

Be kind to yourself and get over this person and find someone who is worthy of you

He's telling you exactly who he is so listen

I agree that he will meet someone and fall in love but it won't be one of you that he's fucking now

Have some self respect and ditch the fuckwit

To be blunt - you're a hole he likes to fuck, you massage his ego and he's not the least bit interested

Sorry OP that was harsh, but I dated so many of these arseholes

There are proper men out there who will treat you right and you will still have great sex, great fun and a life

Block block and block. Don't wait till next week, do it now he is a user. Why waste another min on this guy!!

What a tosser. Id put an end to it. Text him to say "i met somebody, take care"

FFS woman, have some self-respect!

Oh @xmasevebirthdaygirl ☹️ I could have written this 😭. It really is shit isn’t it? BUT, as plenty of others have written, you need to walk away. He is an utter prick, you ARE worth so much more (something I’m only just beginning to realise about myself). I was the mug who did this for a year, desperately hoping for something (anything) more, never getting it and finding out about other women along the way. I was always kidding myself I wasn’t bothered and that I was happy with our ‘agreement’ when all I was doing in between his very sporadic texts when it was ‘my turn‘ was crying over him. It really hurts (still does at the moment) but I am very slowly recovering and realising my worth. I’m still taking those final steps of cutting the last threads of contact but I’m getting there. You can do it girl - get rid before it breaks you completely ❤️

Omg, what are you expecting to get out of being with a ruthless charmer? Run away...and fast!

OP you’re an adult, there’s no deception here and you’re getting exactly what you’ve signed up for.

The only power this man has over you is the power you’ve voluntarily surrendered to him.

Convenient shags rarely turn into successful relationships.

Don’t waste your life hanging onto this loser, hold yourself to higher standards.

Omg! This guy sounds exactly like some guy I knew! Did you meet him through online dating?

Okay, he doesn't give a fuck about you. It could be you, it could be someone else.

This man is profoundly detached and unable form attachments to others.

You will never get what you want from this man. He throws you crumbs, you take them.

This relationship is addictive. You're addicted to the 'hit' of his attention and the sex. The longer this continues, the more painful it will be.

The best way to proceed is to cut all ties and have no contact; give yourself time to recover.

What is wrong with you that your standards are so low? Also completely lacking in self-respect.

I would back off from dating until you have dealt with the underlying issues with a professional or you will have trouble moving forward in a positive manner.

His guard isn't up, he just doesn't have any capacity to care for others. He's a black hole. A cup with a leak. No matter how much you give, he only knows how to take. You can't change that.

People like him usually tell you shit like they've been hurt before so they don't let themselves get close to others. Looks like he's skipped that and let you assume that's why his guard is up'. In actual fact, he just doesn't care, can't care, will never care for anyone, except for himself.

Text end it and block his number. Don't see him again. You don't owe him an end in person. Just get yourself free of this cold, empty leach.

but then he invites me out and messages me all the time.

Only because he's looking for no strings shagging.

Sorry OP but you seriously need need to find your self esteem.

Bin him OP

I'm so intrigued.

There was a guy I was involved with (a very sorry episode), who behaved exactly like this, and said the exact same thing, 'I've had this convo with many women before' type of thing. He was a total misogynist with no respect for women at all.

He was prolific on all the dating apps; PoF, Bumble, OkCupid and Tinder. In his profile says he's looking for a relationship and 'might' want children, but this all turns out to be lie (you only find out after).

It's probably not the same man but the similarities struck me! There's probs just a lot of dysfunctional misogynists out there, as well as decent fellows.

Further thought; you are making yourself available and convenient for this man. That is why he maintains contact, because you make it easy. You're telling him how much you respect yourself by allowing him to continue with his behaviour.
Anyway fuck him...the point is: is this what you want?
Do you want this kind of relationship?

If not, delete and block. Move on

Wow - where is your self-respect OP?
Bend down and pick it up off of the floor!
Now dump him.

What do you think will happen here?
He will suddenly fall madly in love with you?
NOT GONNA HAPPEN!!!!
He will continue to use you while you allow it.
You are enabling his behaviour here!
Please stop it!

Get yourself to your local GUM or SHAW clinic and get every STD/STI check you can.
And then block, ignore and delete this asshole from your life.
You deserve far better.
Please get some counselling to understand why you are allowing a 'man' to treat you this way!
You need to understand what is going on with you as this is not something you should put up with.
No 'man' is worth this.

I was going to say you’re just delaying the inevitable heart break but then remembered you said you’re crying everyday now anyway. It’s just one continuous heartbreak. Pull the plaster off and look after yourself. Don’t see him again starting right now.

He is undoubtedly an arsehole but in al fairness he is very upfront about this. He is very clearly telling you he is not interested in more than sex. Listen to him.

I promise you it is never ever worth it. The self respect you get from walking away is very much worth it.

He isn't hiding that he is an arse, you cannot change him, you will not be the one that he suddenly realises he is in love with.life simply doesn't work like that.

Walk away

I'm pretty sure this poster has been on here before with same questions. But always disappears when evry single poster comes out to tell her to go. Shes waiting for someone to tell her the story of their dh if 20 years who started out claiming it was a casual thing. But that only happens in movies.

You are convoluting yourself, twisting yourself into a thousand knots trying to make nothing into something. It doesn't matter which way you phrase it, or how you try to make him sound like a misunderstood soul, he isn't.

He's a shagger. You want a relationship. It's not going to happen, however much you prostrate yourself in front of him. He's going to marry an upper middle class girl called Jacinta when he's forty five, and give her the run around too. He's simply not for you.

Block him, cry, and move on.

He couldn’t care less about you - and he’s told you that.

He sounds like such a wanker. Your self esteem must be at rock bottom if you’re sticking around for this shit.

Come back OP! We're just trying to help with some straight talking tough love!