He says when he meets someone ...he will stop speaking to me..stop it now?

[xmasevebirthdaygirl]

I've been chatting daily to a guy for 6 months.
We have been out a lot and slept together but he isn't calling it dating.
He is still sleeping with other girls and texts multiple women.
He stayed over last night and said tonight a girl (il call her Alice) was picking him up at 6pm for a drive.
I asked are you into this girl ?
He replied "no if I was I would stop speaking to you"
So I responded .."what's the point in all of this,why are you jealous if I talk to other guys yet your saying If you were into this girl you would stop speaking"
He said "I don't get feelings for anyone,I've got my guard up,I'm happy being like this,no ties to anyone,if I feel like I'm getting too close,I back off"
(He's done this to me)
I have feelings for him and must cry over the situation daily.
I'm seeing him next week again and my friends are telling me to say I'm done with this situation ...if he doesn't want just me then walk away.
What do I do?

By the way OP instead of being jealous of these women, feel sorry for them. They are probably going through the same crap as you, they all think if they can hold on for a little bit longer - he might change.

Why are you doing this to yourself?

I don't even know why I'm still here.
I keep thinking he might change his mind and decide he wants a girlfriend even tho he has said he doesn't.
I think I'm making myself look like a idiot now.

But even if he does want a girlfriend, why do you want it to be you?

You’re not an idiot it’s chemicals in your brain, low self esteem and the charm of these divs. I never thought I would be the type to be sucked in.

You're not in a relationship with him so you owe him nothing. Just block and move on. Do it tonight.

OP... you are worth way more than the scraps this guy throws you.

Women think far too little of themselves, and give too much of themselves away.
The best thing that you can do - is get yourself into his position , and date three or four guys at the same time - so you can see what it is like.

When I was younger I saw a guy who was dating lots of girls and he hurt me. Women are often told by men, that we are only allowed to be with one man at a time, while they are happily seeing many women. This is not true! Grab your power back.

I wised up as I got older, and I always date more than one man at a time bow.

Right now, I am dating four men. None of them know about each other, but none of them think that we are exclusive either. They don't ask and I don't say.

Now I am in this position, I can see exactly how the men feel like when they do it.

Why would I give any of the four men up? I get four lots of men, I get four lots of attention, four lots of romance, four lots of loving texts etc. I get loads of good things.

He is not going to give those women up.

Get your power back and date more guys than just him!

I think I'm making myself look like a idiot now.

Well, yeah, you are a bit.

So what are you going to change?

He's not going to change his mind. Read through this thread, OP, and then read it again. I hope you can somehow find a way to love yourself and walk away from someone who doesn't give a single flying fuck about you.

Give yourself the best Christmas present you can have at this point in time and block him.

Do you think it's because I'm just not who he wants to be with?
But then again none of the others clearly are either?
There's about 7-8 of us that I know about.
We get on so well and have such a laugh but he just doesn't want a girlfriend apparently.

Are you actually reading any of these replies op?

Does it really matter if the reason he doesn't want to date you is because you're not the person he wants to be with or because he just isn't interested in a relationship?

You want a relationship. He doesn't. Nothing you do or say is going to change that. What you're describing isn't even a FWB situation as on a very basic level he's an awful, awful friend who makes you jealous and toys with your feelings.

Stop hanging on to a fantasy of what could be if only he would change his mind.

Trust me OP, when he meets "the one" he will want a girlfriend. He just doesn't want it to be you. That's the harsh truth.

If he was really into you then nothing would stop him from pursuing you.

@MyMajesty I am reading yes,I know I've got to cut him off for my own sanity.

@Waxonwaxoff0 that's what is hard to deal with.
How we get on,how much fun we have,what is missing etc

Ha ha @ReanimatedSGB I knew one just like that. Wanted everyone fawning over him. I figured out pretty quickly (first couple of dates) his was a controlling prick. But the sex was fun and I really wasn't after a relationship, so why not. I was a conundrum to him. I most certainly didn't put up with his shit behaviour and would be happy to send him packing if he was disrespectful. Took him three months once to get back in touch. I really didn't care either way.

From him I coined the term Man Tramp. If he started telling me about his exploits, I'd tell him I didn't want to hear his man tramp stories. One he told me from his backpacking days, I just looked at him and contemptuously said "classy". Definitely not the reaction he expected. I'm sure I made him miserable, but he kept calling and we did have fun.

Anyway, that doesn't help the OP.

OP as so many have said above, he will not settle with you. He is controlling. He doesn't want you seeing other people, he wants you besotted with him. You seem too attached for it to be a NSA/FWB arrangement. So I'd really suggest you stop seeing him. Block his messages and become unavailable to him. You need to do this for you. You don't want the relationship you currently have with him. It's not a healthy relationship if you are constantly in tears and want more from the relationship than he has said he wants to give. You won't change his mind.

Fuck. Him. Off!

I even said to him
I deserve better than this ....
And he said
"I know you do"

Stop thinking about how unfair it is or how well you get on or how good you'd be together. He is humiliating you. Block him now.

Xmasevebirthdaygirl you are not making any sense.

You know he is seeing lots of other women. Why do you think you are special to him? You are not. You are one of eight.

You either accept that,

Or break it off.

Why can't you see that? Why spend ages crying about it. You are not making any sense.

If I didn't want to be with a guy whonwas seeing lots of other girls, I would simply bin him.

You are making no sense

What did he get you for your birthday yesterday? Nothing? Because, harsh truth, that is what you mean to him.

Value yourself and block him.

To be fair to him he’s been honest, he’s doing nothing wrong. I have a FWB, we text every day and chat a lot, but he’s very clear he has never and does never want a girlfriend and won’t get emotionally involved with anyone.

If a woman falls for him he ends it. It works because I don’t care and I’m still dating to find someone I do want to be with.

Don’t get the vitriol to him on here when he’s been clear? This is YOUR issue, you’ve developed feelings for someone who doesn’t want them and are sitting waiting hoping to “change” him. He won’t change so you need to walk away as the situation doesn’t work for you.

@sleepysundown you're right. It's OP's problem (though if you knew your FWB was catching feelings, the right thing to do would be to back off). She has convinced herself he loves her secretly, that there is a chance for them, that he is damaged and needs to be fixed by her. She needs to get over it and block him.

I know he doesn't love me.
I know if he gave 2 shits about me he wouldn't be sleeping with the others.
He knows I have feelings and want more,he is choosing to sleep around because that's what he wants to do.