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Original poster

He says when he meets someone ...he will stop speaking to me..stop it now?

193 replies

xmasevebirthdaygirl · 23/12/2019 16:40

I've been chatting daily to a guy for 6 months.
We have been out a lot and slept together but he isn't calling it dating.
He is still sleeping with other girls and texts multiple women.
He stayed over last night and said tonight a girl (il call her Alice) was picking him up at 6pm for a drive.
I asked are you into this girl ?
He replied "no if I was I would stop speaking to you"
So I responded .."what's the point in all of this,why are you jealous if I talk to other guys yet your saying If you were into this girl you would stop speaking"
He said "I don't get feelings for anyone,I've got my guard up,I'm happy being like this,no ties to anyone,if I feel like I'm getting too close,I back off"
(He's done this to me)
I have feelings for him and must cry over the situation daily.
I'm seeing him next week again and my friends are telling me to say I'm done with this situation ...if he doesn't want just me then walk away.
What do I do?

OP posts:
madcatladyforever · 26/12/2019 08:23

Do you have no self respect at all?

WanderingAimlessly · 26/12/2019 08:25

Stop. Just stop.
If you carry on in this relationship you are your own worst enemy and I don’t think you have any right to complain to your friends or him.

Carrying on makes me think you love the drama. I hope that your friends aren’t all oohing and ahhing over this soap opera relationship you’re in. If you were my friend, I’d tell you you’re being a twat and I don’t want to hear another word about it until you’ve dumped him and got some self respect back.

Original poster
xmasevebirthdaygirl · 26/12/2019 08:28

I do have self respect,I know it doesn't sound like at the minute but I do.
Me and him are Like chalk and cheese the way we behave.

OP posts:
ineedaholiday11 · 26/12/2019 08:32

I'm sorry but you're convenient and he likes the attention. He knows you'll engage and doesn't care about you. If he did he wouldn't be seeing other people and telling you about it.

Stop waiting around for him. If he wanted to be with you he would have made it official already.

ThanosSavedMe · 26/12/2019 08:35

Have you blocked him yet? If not why not?

He isn’t going to change. He’ll keep stringing you along because you let him. He tells you about these other girls because he wants to. He doesn’t give a shit.

You gave two choices. Carry on as you are and keep being used and feel worse and worse every day ( even on the days where he is being nice) or block him, on everything, right now.

NewMumBGentle · 26/12/2019 08:36

Find someone who deserves you and is willing to put I the same level of commitment you give them.

ChasingRainbows19 · 26/12/2019 08:37

I don't think you will action anything here reading your replies. You still are hoping despite him telling you.....

He makes you miserable.

That's enough to end it. Forget the 5% when he is with you which is on his terms and not yours so you are left hanging. 95% of your time you wander who he is with or he tells you. This makes you miserable!! So you are only happy for short amounts of time

Life is so so too short for game playing. You deserve to be happy. Relationships aren't perfect no but this isn't it by a long shot.

He is having his cake and eating it with so many women he has you all to his tune. If you were happy with a FWB arrangement fine But you are not.

You are miserable!

End it now not new year. End it today send a text this is not working out I'm unhappy. Good luck and Then block the fucker on everything.

Yes it's hard when you've an emotional connection but a few months later you'll realise it's worth it! Oh and get a sexual health check.

Karwomannghia · 26/12/2019 08:44

You ARE in a relationship with this man and he’s cheating on you right in front of your eyes and rubbing your face in it. Just because it’s dressed up as not a relationship doesn’t mean anything. If you wouldn’t stand for that as a girlfriend why stand for it now when it has the exact same impact on you? Tell him new year new self respect and block him.

OceanSunFish · 26/12/2019 08:46

Of course he understands why you're upset. He's not stupid. He just doesn't care.

Ceejly · 26/12/2019 08:46

Are yoi going to block him @xmasevebirthdaygirl? I am starting to lose hope. If you're not going to do anything, this thread is pointless.

just5morepeas · 26/12/2019 08:59

I do have self respect,I know it doesn't sound like at the minute but I do.

No you really do not.

And the reason he sometimes treats you nicely and you get on is because he's trying to keep you sweet so you carry on having sex with him.

You said in your op what he's like:

"I don't get feelings for anyone,I've got my guard up,I'm happy being like this,no ties to anyone,if I feel like I'm getting too close,I back off"

He's told you multiple multiple times what he's like. Believe him!

Rottnest · 26/12/2019 09:05

You walk away for heavens sake. He has told you basically that you are just one of several, he has no special feelings for you, (exclusivity). For heavens sake put a higher value on yourself than this, raise your boundaries and respect yourself.
I suggest going to counselling, do anything but accept this situation as your normal. You are worth more than this.

captainpantbeard · 26/12/2019 09:11

BLOCK HIM
DELETE HIS NUMBER

You have to go cold turkey, it’s the only way out.

He’s absolutely messing with you - he doesn’t deserve any response from you. I wish you could step away and see how awful he is to toy with your emotions like this.

YouJustDoYou · 26/12/2019 09:11

He understands full well what he's doing when he tells you. He doesn't respect you because he knows your his little lapdog who'll just take it.

AnyFucker · 26/12/2019 09:14

You are not going to actually do anything, you just want to carry on talking about him.

This thread, with all it's exclamations of "you are worth more!" is not doing you any favours at all.

JustASmallTownCurl · 26/12/2019 09:15

Oh god it's the same poster again.

OP do you actually see this having any remotely positive outcome? Genuinely, do you?

If not you're setting yourself up for heartbreak and it's hard to sympathise at a certain point.

Because, he's been honest with you. He's been upfront. He doesn't want you to be any more than someone he shags.

He doesn't get in touch, profess his undying love, win you back with lies then hurt you again.

He gets back in touch to ask if you want to meet up and shag. And you say yes. Over and over again.

He's been honest with you. You are the one lying to yourself.

Act like an adult and take control of your own life FFS.

What is your plan? For right now and next steps? If you don't block him then you'll go running next time he gets in touch, you've proven that.

It's not like he's going to be difficult about it, he doesn't care! He'll just shag one of the other girls or a new one.

GonnaBeMaayy · 26/12/2019 09:43

You deserve someone to give you the love, commitment and respect that you want (and deserve).

You deserve to be treated well and looked after too.

This boy isn’t doing that for you. He hasn’t done and he won’t. It’s hard when feelings are not reciprocated.

In your OP you didn’t write anything nice that he does for you. If a friend had told you that, what would you do?

MarianaMoatedGrange · 26/12/2019 09:49

I think, like with any toxic addiction, OP has to reach 'rock bottom' before she takes any positive action to help herself.

Danni12 · 26/12/2019 09:58

You are worth So. Much. More.
Dump this guy who is living a single, fancy free life whilst sleeping with various women.
Spend time with someone who deserves your company

MyMajesty · 26/12/2019 10:59

In the thread title you ask "Stop it now?"
Yes, do!

Original poster
xmasevebirthdaygirl · 26/12/2019 11:30

I am going to stop it because what's the point.
I'm getting nothing out of it.
Without turning this even more pathetic than I already have ...I used to look in the mirror and like myself now I just think
"Your not good enough,he doesn't want you" and I can't stand it.
I just feel so alone.

OP posts:
Original poster
xmasevebirthdaygirl · 26/12/2019 11:30

I don't have any kids,I can't have any and this just makes me feel like even more a failure.
I can't even get a bloke who goes with anything.
Anyway ..that's enough of the Pity party
I'm going to the sales

OP posts:
Dozer · 26/12/2019 11:32

The sooner you end it and cease all contact with him the sooner you’ll feel better.

Don’t go down this road again!

There are nice blokes out there.

LittleWing80 · 26/12/2019 11:32

What are you going to do OP?

Dozer · 26/12/2019 11:33

He is one man. He’s not nice.

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