Fucking hell OP, you say you love the cat like a child but that you’re considering giving it up to move countries for a man who gets all upset because he can’t cope with the fact that you have a Past, and your cat, a bloody cat ffs who knew your ex? You knew your ex, you had sex with your ex, you no doubt had his penis in your mouth and his semen and sperm inside your body. If he can’t cope with a cat who was in the same place as your ex how will he cope with that?
Firstly, if yu’d leave something that you say you love like a child for a man then that says a lot about your attitude to relationships. It also makes it very clear that you are incapable of having a healthy relationship, because whatever the man wants he gets, and that includes leaving your own child if you had one. Just think about that for a second.
Let me ask you a question. When he cries about these terrible thoughts he has, is it just after a row or a disagreement where he has behaved badly? All my savings on the answer being yes, because that’s when men like this cry. Sadly OP they aren’t crying because they have a genuine issue they wish they could cope with better, after all if that was the case they’d be seeking help. They cry because it’s a way to reel you back in, because they’ve shown themselves to be the sort of person that any sensible woman would avoid like the plague. It’s a test, hw much will you take, what can they get away with if they can just convince you that they’re really, really sad about it.
So what will you take from him because he’s really, really sad? Where is the line where you say, ‘sorry you’re sad but no?’ Take it from me, someone who moved away from all my friends and family to move in with a man who was really, really sad about his insecurities, it’s much bloody harder to draw that line and say no once you’re living with him, in a place you don’t know, where there are no friends or family around to help you, where you don’t know anybody and where he is your only point of reference.
This has huge, clanging, echoing alarm bells ringing all over it OP, I can hardly hear self think for them.
You would be really, really, really fucking unwise to move for this man, because what he is sad about now will be nothing compared to what he’s sad about when you’ve moved, and you’ll be giving up more and more to make him not feel sad.
I can predict that you’re going to do it anyway but you have been warned. This is a very bad idea and it will not end well, mark mine and all the other posters words on this thread.
Please please don’t do it. Go and do the Freedom Programme, ditch this abuser in waiting and sort your own boundaries out before you even look at a man again because otherwise you’ll just bounce from one abuser to the next.