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Original poster

How do I choose?

227 replies

PotatoBanana · 22/12/2019 17:47

So I am planning to move in with my beloved whom I love with all my heart. It's not a simple move as I am crossing countries and leaving all my family behind to be with him.

The thing is, I have a cat. I love this cat like a child. I am an extreme animal lover.
BUT I got this cat when I was with my ex (he wasn't my ex's cat) and my beloved doesn't want me to bring this cat with me because it brings up a lot of bad memories and thoughts of my past relationship which are extremely hard for him to deal with.

I really have no idea what to do because with the status of my work/distance etc, if I do not move with my bf now, it's likely I will end up breaking up with him. Which destroys me because I really feel like he is the one for me. BUT my cat is also everything to me and parting with her hurts me.

What do I do?

OP posts:
chipsandpeas · 22/12/2019 17:49

id keep the cat and call the move off

lottiedelavega · 22/12/2019 17:50

Always choose the cat

Mermaidtissues · 22/12/2019 17:50

I wouldn’t leave my cat in these circumstances.

lottiedelavega · 22/12/2019 17:50

What prick asks someone to get rid of their cat?

Queenoftheashes · 22/12/2019 17:51

KEEP THE CAT.
he is being a huge turd.

IsolaPribby · 22/12/2019 17:51

If he was truly the one for you, and loved you as much as you say you love him, then he would accept that you and your cat come as a package deal, and welcome you both with open arms.
Stop and think before you make a mistake.

doublebarrellednurse · 22/12/2019 17:51

because it brings up a lot of bad memories and thoughts of my past relationship which are extremely hard for him to deal with.

He needs to grow up. You have a past. So does he. You can't wipe each other's histories.

Dazedandconfused10 · 22/12/2019 17:51

Chose cat. What of you had kids? Would he expect they'd be put up for adoption too?

A pet is a life long commitment not a throw away object.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 22/12/2019 17:52

Ditch beloved, he's ridiculous. Jealous of a cat because you had the cat in your previous relationship??! How bloody stupid is that?

And isn't it just a slippery slope... He's persuaded you to give up something you really really love. So now he knows just how far he can push you. What's next?

Picklypickles · 22/12/2019 17:54

I was in this situation years ago, moving to the other end of the country to a house I couldn't take pets to. I was very lucky in that my dad was willing to take my cats, but I have to say I often wish I'd chosen the cats over the man.

Pilipilihoho · 22/12/2019 17:54

Of course you pick the cat-he's not that bloody great if he won't have your cat because the cat knew your ex, is he?!

category12 · 22/12/2019 17:56

What?

I could understand if it was an unsuitable environment for a cat, or he was allergic, but because it reminds him you had a previous relationship..

Watch out, OP. You better get rid of all your belongings you had before him. I hope you've changed your haircut. Have you had your hymen reinstated?

A jealous and possessive man is not one you should be moving countries for.

Lulufluff · 22/12/2019 17:57

Keep the cat!!!

knewyouwerewaiting · 22/12/2019 17:57

It’s not even that he’s allergic or not a cat lover. It’s that it’s a reminder of your ex. How ridiculous.

Keep the cat.

PorpentinaScamander · 22/12/2019 17:57

Replace the word 'cat' with the word 'child'

It's a no brainer surely?

rickandmorts · 22/12/2019 17:58

Huge red flag here! Sorry but I'd never choose a man over my animals Sad

Excited101 · 22/12/2019 17:58

You have a cat shaped red flag here, pay attention to it, and keep it.

heartyrebel · 22/12/2019 17:59

I vote the cat too, he sounds jealous and insecure.

How long have you been together?

PositiveVibez · 22/12/2019 17:59

'Beloved' sounds like an absolute dick.

Wanting you to leave your cat because it makes him think of your previous relationship??????

Does he allow you to wear clothes that you worn in a previous relationship?

He sounds like an arsehole. Do not get rid of your cat for this man.

As a pp said. This will be a slippery slope.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 22/12/2019 18:01

Take the cat and run a mile.

This will just be the tip of the iceburg.

richteasandcheese · 22/12/2019 18:02

R

E

D

F

L

A

G

R

U

N

Thingsdogetbetter · 22/12/2019 18:02

Why does he have such an issue with your past? What bad memories can HE have about YOUR past? Is it the fact you have one? Because that is scarily controlling and irrationally jealous. The cat now, your clothes, friends, mentioning your past next. Are you supposed to pretend you've never had a boyfriend before, to pretend to be pure and untouched?

You'll be putting yourself in a vulnerable position away from home, with a man who can't cope with your past and doesn't care that you'd be hurt by leaving your cat.

I'd be rethinking this one!

LindaCallahan2006 · 22/12/2019 18:03

You should keep the cat and burn the dude's house down so he is forced to live with you and the cat

ohwheniknow · 22/12/2019 18:03

it brings up a lot of bad memories and thoughts of my past relationship which are extremely hard for him to deal with.

He's not the one for you. This shit isn't normal or healthy.

LuluBellaBlue · 22/12/2019 18:04

Hahahaha as above!!

Huge red flag, jealous of a cat FFS