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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband left for woman half his age.

815 replies

Apricot10 · 14/12/2019 18:31

Just that really.
He has left me for a 25 year old. He is 40 next month.
We have two children 6 and 9. My DS is Autistic. So I have been left with two children who can't understand why he has gone, especially my DS.
He has moved in with her, so I said I wasn't happy with the children visiting his place as they need more time to adjust to us being apart before he introduces anyone else.
So he is taking them to their grandparents when he has them.
He told me all of this by text. Won't give me her name said I might stalk her. (Like I have the time if I wanted to)
We were together 18 years married 11. I am totally devastated. Just been wrapping presents crying my eyes out.
I just feel so helpless and desperate.
I can't look at him, I feel sick when I do. I loved him for so many years. Why do they do this? What can he surely have in common with this girl?
Sad

OP posts:
justilou1 · 12/04/2020 09:42

Happy Easter from Aus to you and your DC, @Apricot10! Hope the bunny was especially generous to you & the kids. Schadenfreude Bunny hopes that Dickhead and OW were left with bunny scat. Have you had advice from solicitor yet?

popsydoodle4444 · 13/04/2020 23:46

Hi @Apricot10

I've just been catching up with your thread.I'm can't believe your sly CF of an ex try to hide his extra 12K a year from his child maintenance payments.

I see it time and time again;men trying to get out of paying for their kids;have they ever stopped to think what happens when their kids find out when their adults that their dads tried to skip out on their financial responsibilities to them?

Well I'm glad you found out (although your ex isn't very bright is he?).Your kids deserve every penny they get from their dad after the crap they've been put through these past few months because of him.

pollywobble · 30/04/2020 12:54

Lurker here , I was just thinking about you and your children @Apricot10 . How are you all?

Original poster
Apricot10 · 30/04/2020 23:51

Blimey sorry everyone. I have been run off my feet the last few weeks. Working, home schooling I am knackered. But we are all good. He keeps calling to tell me how miserable he is, I just ignore it and hand him over to speak to the kids. How is everyone doing?

OP posts:
Cantpickausername5 · 30/04/2020 23:53

Oh his unblocked you after you found out about the money, lol. What was his excuse. God he is a prize pig.

Annonymiss123 · 01/05/2020 08:52

He keeps calling to tell me how miserable he is

My heart bleeds for him. 🙄 Is he not having a wonderful lockdown with his 25 year old? Surely this is everything he dreamed of! 😉

hellsbellsmelons · 01/05/2020 10:20

Wow - I've just gone through this thread.
You are truly awesome.
You've been a fabulous role model to your DC.
And I'm so so so fucking glad he is now miserable.
Fucking asshole!
All power to you OP!

RandomMess · 01/05/2020 13:30

My heart is truly bleeding for him...

Original poster
Apricot10 · 02/05/2020 00:33

Oh god I know. He is so pathetic, says he will make his decision about whether he will stay with her after lockdown. Like I give a crap. Hmm

OP posts:
pollywobble · 02/05/2020 04:31

Does he really think-in his cock-blinded brain-that he has a choice between anything but her and lonely old bedsitland? Deluded!

Puds11 · 02/05/2020 05:24

Urgh what a wet wipe! Keep ignoring! Did you keep the abusive messages?

Hope you are ok.

TomNook · 02/05/2020 07:01

I wonder if this will push him to divorce

Itsallgonewoowoo · 02/05/2020 09:19

You say he has family who also did this. Do they get on with their first wives and have family days? I just wondered where he got the idea from he could have a shag pad and a family while he flitted between the two being adored by all and sundry.

SpringFan · 02/05/2020 11:08

Are you certain that he doesn't think he can come back to you when he leaves her? Apart from the abuse over the joint bank account, he seems to be trying to treat you as a friend and confidant.

LiteraryType · 02/05/2020 11:17

If only there was a Dadsnet Grin He could post his stupidity and teach all the other stupid men what they are heading for if they leave their long suffering wives. Just desserts. Good for you!

inapickle1989 · 02/05/2020 11:34

Hi op just wanted to say I have only just read your post . Have then gone straight to the last few replies and it's amazing to see how time does make a difference . I'm so happy to see that you don't give a shit no more . My ex done this to me ten years a title girl . And left for someone else . It didn't work out 6 months later I had just got another house I had to stay with my parents before this because I was in such a mess . I was starting to feel a little bit like me again . Then he started hanging around me . He wasn't happy and started helping me decorate the new house . 3 weeks later we slept together. Big mistake and he never left after that . I remember standing in the kitchen watching him laying on my sofa and thinking what have I done . Some how we stayed together another 3 years but he cheated again and again u til in the end and how much it hurt I had to leave go for god . Best decision I made now . But it was probably the hardest thing I had to go through do not take him back . Now he's realised the grass is never greener x

M00NPIE · 02/05/2020 12:24

Flowers you’re such a strong lady and a super mum.

YRGAM · 19/05/2020 12:58

How are you three doing over there Apricot? Hope the home schooling isn't getting too much!

EileenAlanna · 26/05/2020 20:57

Hello @Apricot10 I've been reading your post all afternoon & I'm in awe of how you've dealt with all of this. Thought this might give you a bit of a chuckle during lockdown - his life from here on in.

Vodkacranberryplease · 27/05/2020 00:22

Well! Great thread! I'm loving the way this is panning out.. amazing job OP!

And he is so deliciously stupid. You could write the most hilarious book about him - in fact why don't you? Slight name change for him and maybe change his hair colour? 😁😁 Because he is every kind of tosser cliche that I can well imagine isn't funny in the slightest at first but as time goes on becomes the most fantastic entertainment.

An utter twat in every way. But a twat with money! Your money!

IdblowJonSnow · 27/05/2020 00:38

OP you are awesome.
I know it must have been a hard journey but you've done so bloody well.
Your kids will be so proud of you when they're adults and have the capacity to appreciate things.
What a dick your ex is, hope you can get a suitable amount for maintenance soon.

YummiestBut · 27/05/2020 12:19

Just found this thread. You are utterly awesome! Really hope things are going well for you!

LJenn · 24/06/2020 14:15

Hope all is well OP🙏🏻🙏🏻

Original poster
Apricot10 · 25/06/2020 22:35

Hi @LJenn
It has been ages! Doing okay, I wish I could say things ahvw improved with ex, but he is still as flaky as ever. Hasn't looked after the kids once during lockdown. I have done 14 weeks (I think) of homeschool and working from home on my own. I have had some really down days but doing okay.
He hasn't changed a bit, still woe with me attitude, has spent the whole lockdown complaining that he misses the kids but has mad enough effort to have them at his place. He is still with OW, apparently they are in love now and it is "building slowly." Whatever that means.Hmm
But the kids are doing great, they are a bit bored same as everyone else.
We are doing fine without him.

OP posts:
yesterdaystotalsteps123 · 26/06/2020 01:11

"Building slowly" translates as "you haven't done the pick me dance so I'm pretending all is well with OW"