Husband left for woman half his age.

[Apricot10]

Just that really.
He has left me for a 25 year old. He is 40 next month.
We have two children 6 and 9. My DS is Autistic. So I have been left with two children who can't understand why he has gone, especially my DS.
He has moved in with her, so I said I wasn't happy with the children visiting his place as they need more time to adjust to us being apart before he introduces anyone else.
So he is taking them to their grandparents when he has them.
He told me all of this by text. Won't give me her name said I might stalk her. (Like I have the time if I wanted to)
We were together 18 years married 11. I am totally devastated. Just been wrapping presents crying my eyes out.
I just feel so helpless and desperate.
I can't look at him, I feel sick when I do. I loved him for so many years. Why do they do this? What can he surely have in common with this girl?

He is leaving her, I don't know much info as I didn't ask him to elaborate

I bet she dumped him- most of these blokes would never admit that.

I actually was wondering the same, seems a bit risky to move out of a flat with nowhere to go. Also a good old guilt trip, oh I broke up with her for you. Do you know for a fact he broke up with her?

Stupid man.

It's a massive stretch but...

Could you lead him on a bit so you get as much money as possible? Now his brain is out of his dick he may get nasty.

Needs must and all that. The kids after all!

Op just read the whole thread. You really are Wonder Woman

If I knew you irl I’d want to be your friend.

I’m so impressed how much you are doing - holding down a job, full care for 2 kids one with sn, building a wall and fitting a kitchen!!! Plus not entertaining the idea of him coming back. Really really impressed with you, your kids are very lucky.

If he moves back to his parents place, his cost of living will drop further. Strike legally while the iron’s hot!

Ha. Bastard.

Wow, well done @Apricot10. Keep going.
I wanted to hire a builder for a stud wall btw but maybe I'll give it a go myself 🙂

Fuck me OP you are an inspiration and I wish I had your courage, wisdom and grace.

Get ready for the fight. Once he realises he's totally screwed his life up he will turn petty and mean taking his anger at himself out on you for not taking him back.

Hi everyone, I am playing it very carefully don't worry. I know he may get nasty again, I am just carrying on as normal but preparing myself. @justilou1 he can't live with his parents they live 4 hours drive from where he works, I might encourage him to get a new job near them then he can move in with them and I can be shot of him.He will probably shack up with a friend somewhere.
@AsAnActualWoman honestly it wasn't difficult at all. Watch some YouTube videos, draw out your plan! It cost £160 in materials.
I am thinking of ordering my new kitchen cupboards so if we go into lockdown at least I can do some DIY!!

He’s totally been dumped, the saggy-arsed, little twerp!

Just TRY.. TRY to keep a cool head when he does💕. You need to just to remember the facts and only discuss facts with him. HE decided your marriage wasn't working and decided to walk away in order to be happy. So you're just carrying on what HE started.

Or hire a hitman 🤫🤭🤫

Btw - am not remotely serious and wouldn’t know how

Wow. I have just RT whole FT and am in awe of you OP.

It’s got me thinking - men like this have got away with this for centuries because of the patterns of behaviour set down for them by their fathers. Your ex thought there were no consequences, because there weren’t for his father.

Then Mumsnet comes along. How many women would just have these bastards back and fall for the script without the support of resources like MN?

No wonder historically men have tried to prevent women from organising and meeting together - they know our power comes from our collective resistance and support. And now we can do it online...

Sorry - historical musings.

Oh wow ! I'm just having a read through similar threads as I'm just starting my own break up ! Can't believe how many of these horrible men are around acting the same did they all go to some secret selfish classes at school while we were doing home economics maybe !! Karma they are splitting up ! Hope you are ok op you sound very strong !! Xx

Hi OP. just RTFT and just wanted to say you are amazing. Your kids sound amazing and that's down to you! He will rue the days he left you "for fun" and told you that 15 years of the marriage was rubbish. Remind him of this when he wants to come back, which I imagine, you are prepared for!

Oh how fabulous, the utter dickhead. Ruined. Pathetic. About to be financially much less better off. LOL!!!!

I can well believe he will ask to come back. Such an evil move on his part. Say strong.

I'm feeling smug for you OP... I bet he will pull out all the stops to move back into yours.... please stay strong..

You sound so strong Apricot good for you! It was never going to last what an idiot he is! You are better off without him!

You. Are. Epic.

I wish had shown even 10% of the dignity and strength you have shown when my own marriage ended. I took the cunt back over and over, I was such a fucking idiot.

You are my hero.

Hi everyone, god sorry I haven't been catching up. Been in bloody isolation with the kids for the last 3 days! We are coping, just. My neighbour left me a bottle of wine on my door step last night, I nearly cried!
Hope everyone is holding up okay. Ex has been dropping food in, so at least he is making himself useful. Looks like him and OW are back on, so at least I don't need to worry about dealing with him trying to crawl back. Phew! I think he realised he can't afford to not live with her.
Take care everyone.❤