Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My husband is missing

234 replies

Onalake · 10/12/2019 16:10

He has alcohol dependency and depression and has suicidal thoughts. I thought he was upstairs, looked out of the window and realised the car was gone. I have phoned the police who are looking for him. I am devasted, sitting here waiting for news is killing me

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 10/12/2019 16:44

Police should be able to track his phone (they did this with my ex when he went on a suicide pact) but they only do this if they feel there’s a real concern which I think there is.

Fingers crossed he will be found soon and I hope he isn’t driving over the limit either or he could put others at risk.

Quartz2208 · 10/12/2019 16:44

have you told them he is suicidial?

ParanoidGynodroid · 10/12/2019 16:45

Oh OP how worried you must be! I am so sorry you’re in this position, and hope your DH contacts you or comes home soon.

loobyloo1234 · 10/12/2019 16:45

Are you able to go out and see if he's in close proximity somewhere OP? Do you have a car?

BlessedBeTheFruitCake · 10/12/2019 16:45

How worrying, hope he comes home soon.

45andfine · 10/12/2019 16:45

❤️

SunshineCake · 10/12/2019 16:45

Is there anything practical you need help with as you'll certainly get emotional support from posters here ?

readitandwept · 10/12/2019 16:45

Keeping you in my thoughts and willing him home safe, OP.

marblesgoing · 10/12/2019 16:46

Hand hold here op.

Been where you are with a family member years ago and it's terrifying alrhough I was lucky that we were nearer family.
Fingers crossed he's parked up somewhere so he can think on his own and will come back xx

rhubarbcrumbles · 10/12/2019 16:46

Thinking of you OP, I hope he's soon home safe and well,

Janus · 10/12/2019 16:46

I would contact the police again and tell then if his depression but that his phone is ringing. I believe they can then track where he is by that signal (not exactly but to a general location).

HRH2020 · 10/12/2019 16:49

Is the phone definitely not in the house on silent ? Hoping he is sat somewhere with it and will answer soon.

QuestionableMushroom · 10/12/2019 16:51

Oh gosh I hope everything works out ok OP how utterly horrific for you x

TheMamaYo · 10/12/2019 16:54

How worrying for you. Hope he is home safe now OP.

Wildorchidz · 10/12/2019 16:55

Hope he is found safe.

CalleighDoodle · 10/12/2019 16:55

Hoping he is found soon and in therapy

Livebythecoast · 10/12/2019 16:55

You must be thinking all sorts. Handhold here and that he's safe and gets the proper help with his assessment Flowers

Spied · 10/12/2019 16:55

Have you told the police be has been drinking today.
I know that he will be crazy mad when they find him and he'll get into trouble BUT perhaps this could be the catalyst to get help with that aspect.
I also think they will take this even more seriously if they think there's a drunk suicidal man.

angstinabaggyjumper · 10/12/2019 16:55

Just Flowers how awful for you.

BookWitch · 10/12/2019 16:57

Handhold for you OP.
My husband is similar, depression, suicidal thoughts, and he self medicates with alcohol. He has taken off before and I understand totally what you are going through.
I am now supported through Al-Anon, they are amazing. There is a helpline, you could have a chat with someone who totally understands.
Do look after yourself

TheApprentice · 10/12/2019 16:58

I'm so sorry. What a horrible situation to be in. Lots of us are thinking of you.

MrsAgassi · 10/12/2019 16:59

Hope he is found safe soon.

Do the Police know he has been drinking and is suicidal? Obviously there is a risk to others as well as himself and I would expect them to be actively trying to find him.

Hope you get news soon.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 10/12/2019 17:00

Hope he comes home soon

pointythings · 10/12/2019 17:00

Onalake I am so sorry to hear this. Huge handhold from me, he is obviously very unwell. I hope he is found and that he will now get the help he needs to manage his mental health and give up drinking. I second BookWitch - please do call Al-Anon so that you can talk to someone who will understand what you are going through. Flowers

Original poster
Onalake · 10/12/2019 17:00

The police have found him! He was in a laybay just a few miles away. They have taken him to the nearest police station (40+ miles away!) as he has admitted drinking so they need to breathalise him etc. They will also get a nurse to chat with him and see if they need to call the crisis team out for his mental health. If not they will deliver him home later this evening. I am sat here now crying with relief.

This is the start of a long journey for him, but this might be the kick up the arse he needs.

Thank you all for your input, hugs and best wishes, they are much appreciated. X

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread