Dating thread 176 - where we get through Christmas with team carpark updates

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Aw thanks all. Not sure if some of you are name changers or new. I should have listened to by wise friends who told me not to go back. They were right. Very right.

@PickandMix42 the angriest dater in the south is brilliant!
Sounds rough notcoolmum I do t know the back story but sorry this happened to you

My skin is thicker than a rhino’s. Been dating a year. 15 dates. 1 4 month relationship which nearly broke me on ending. I learn the hard way but absolutely determined to try a different tack (eg. No more cars and car parks)

I've been messaging a new iron and we've spoken on the phone and yesterday we spoke on a video call. He seems to be a lovely bloke and I find him attractive but not sure if I fancy him. Do you think a video call is enough to make a judgement on that or is face to face still best?

notcool I’m a name changer - used to have a thing about cassettes. I just can’t believe he did it to you again. So wrong.

Face to face is really the best way, imo.

Me too. I used to have a nut for a head. And yeah bloody Mr S. Clear off. And stay cleared off.

Oh yes, I'm a name changer too. A connessiour of breakfast foods.

Checking in.

Been back online dating for a couple weeks and so far have had no dates, I’ve been doing this for so long now that it’s all the same faces on the apps (several I have dated /slept with). I only get messages from really in attractive old men or men that live too far away. I’ve never struggled this much to get dates, before I was managing to get a date or two each week and now pickings are some slim or I’m getting too fussy. I think I’m going to have to give up until after Christmas.

I am on Tinder and POF, have looked on bumble but there’s no one local to me (bonus of living in the middle of nowhere), not sure if there are any other dating apps worth trying?

Name changer, used to be a diamond.

Sigh. I'm actually feeling better about the FWB thing today. I mean still sad but not crying about it. I'm just depressed with tinder- no one seems to want to go on a date!

@Notcoolmum really sorry to here he's done that to you, truly awful to pull somebody back in again and then end it. Very selfish!
But don't give yourself too much of a hard time about giving him a 2nd chance, you really liked him and I'd have done the same in your position. What's the saying "regret the things you do, rather than the things you didn't" (or something like that). If you hadn't tried you'd probably have spent a long time wondering if you should have

Face to face is best.

Glad you are feeling better @TheDevilsPedicure

I don’t think I’m cut out for this modern dating world with WhatsApp read receipts and on line times etc 😂😂 . Not like that Back in the early 2000s. 🤦‍♀️.

Having a swipe this evening after being ‘off’ for two months. I’ve (angrily) toasted several for not replying quickly enough. God only help those who can’t spell. And into the starry night go those who can’t remember particulars..

So satisfying.

Thanks @Ant330 @PerfectPretender @unambiguousbeard and everyone else. I had missed some of these name changes!!

Like Ant said I really fell for this one. So when he came back with a sob story. One I could forgive him for ending things for months for. I took him back. Thinking as he'd come back it must mean something. I must mean something. Sadly I was very much mistaken. And now I have to pick myself up again.

😢💔😢💔

@PickandMix42 I was doing the same earlier.

Matched with one guy on tinder that I recognised from bumble but I couldn't remember why I stopped speaking to him. Soon became obvious- it was because pretty much the first thing he wanted to talk about was his massive sex drive and how he finds it hard to find someone he is sexually compatible with. Yawn yawn yawn. And I told him as much, that if he wasn't some catfish dirty old creep that he had issues if that's all he can talk about.

I always think there should be a 'you've already unmatched with this person before' notification when you match. I've done that so many times.

@Notcoolmum i wouldnt beat myself up too much about things. Sometimes, I think, you have to hit rock bottom before you realise things can't go on. Clearly he has shown his true colours and you have seen him for what he really is. You'll now never think what if....

@Eesha certainly no more what ifs. But a whole heap of wtafs. I'm shocked by it all. Feel I have no judgement. I was in love. But with what?! :(

Nice one Devil glad you told the bore what a yawnathon he is!

Meh. Was xhatting to Mr Fast Work and turns out he won't do something in bed that i generally need... how likely is it is be able to pervert him a little if we actually go to bed together? I mean...i should try before i rule him out right?
Am rather disappointed though. I think he might be a bit squeaky clean vanilla for little ole me

And notcoolmum - I've missed the back story but WHAT A COCK

@Notcoolmum so sorry you're having a rough time. It's really rubbish and I hope you feel better soon.

@Azzizam apparently I was rude and judgmental. I pointed out it's hardly normal behaviour to make it the first thing he talks to a complete stranger about, unless he also asks the girl behind the counter in Costa about her sex life. What a dick.

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking that's a really tricky one.. I haven't got too much experience of this as the guys I have slept with have all been up for anything... is it a deal breaker if he really doesn't wang to do it or can you live without it?

@nomorewheepingandwanking I’m not sure you can if he isn’t comfortable with jt 🤷🏼‍♀️. Is there alternative to it 😂

And do you defo mean the same thing as I had a convo last week and I thought he meant something else 😂

@Notcoolmum i sometimes feel the same about lack of judgement when I think about my ex but people show you their best side with things. His intention was clearly to tell you exactly what you needed to hear to get himself back into your good books. You shouldn't berate yourself for being open hearted and trusting. You live and learn with all these things.