Ex dp, ds, fake name, extra kids, second thread

[Fedupofitnow123]

Thank you for your continued support, I'm starting this thread regarding the impending court hearing tomorrow, if someone could link my previous thread that would ne highly appreciated!

Sending you strength.

Do you have a court liaison/advocate with you. Maybe speak to them and see what they advise.

Strength to you, and luck and blessings. You can do this, you really can.

💕

OMG I cannot believe they have you waiting in the same room as the man accused of abusing you... this is wrong on so many levels OP.. be strong and good luck...

What’s happened with the police and CPS side of things?

The police dropped because it's hard to prove and have a non-molestation order.

So, it's been an eventful day, and adjourned, we are heading back home! I want to say why but I'm worried about being recognised

I'm really sorry to hear that. How are you feeling?

That’s shit i’m sorry
I’m also sorry because I suspect you’ve already informed the thread of this and I’ve missed it

The CPS failed me and truthfully the sort of thing you’ve been through is beyond the capability of the majority of the police and the CPS are under fire for not tackling things like this.

Hope you are ok
It’s very difficult being in court and pregnant I know

Does adjourned mean you need to go back?

OP.. please be aware that of the CPS do not pursue this.. you can Appeal that decision.

OP you don’t need to give any details here and it may be safer not to

Use this thread for personal support about emotions etc and any practicalities that are safe to.

We are all still here
I’m so sorry today must have been enormously hard

It was very hard, a bit wasted journey except ex has dug himself a hole a little bit! I'm looking forward to getting back to DS and just resting.

CPS dropped our case like a hot potato within the first week after I had left, they are absolutely useless

OP I have spent most of the day on and off reading both your threads and what an emotional rollercoaster you've been on! You are such a strong lady it takes spot of courage to leave a situation like that and you did it and you've shown your son that that behaviour is never never ok. It never goes away and you'll always remember it but over time it will get less painful, especially when court and everything else is sorted. You'll feel all sorts of emotions for a while so it's understandable what you're feeling. I often felt anger, guilt, sadness, betrayal and also mourned for what was or what I thought it was mourned the loss of the lovely future I thought I was going to have. I really wish you the best of luck with everything and with the baby (eeek nearly time!), you've come so far and should be so proud and you'll continue just growing and growing

Sorry didn't realise that was going to be so long otherwise I would have added paragraphs

@Fedupofitnow123 how are you, your son and bump getting on?

@mummytoonlyonechild Hi, thanks, we are ok, life is a little quiet at the moment, ex has put in for a child arrangement order! Lots of lies in court, making me out to have had so many affairs, pretty convinced he will deny bump is his. Should I apply for child maintenance? I really have no idea if I should rock that boat.

Quiet sounds good for you. Im sure they will see through his lies as he will slip up with the amount he is saying and your son's wishes will be taken into consideration as of his age. Question is for you to consider would him denying be a good thing as he wouldn't have any rights would he?
The child maintenance is a hard one as yes he should be paying it but im sure he would find a way to screw you out of it or make your life even more difficult. Maybe women's aid would have good ideas about that

Wow op, I've just read both treads. You are so strong. I just wanted to wish you all the luck and I truly hope everything works out in your favour and they see through his lies.

So rejected by selwood housing because of debt!

I am at the point of despair, it's so hard to keep fighting all of this! I am so so tired! I have really low iron so they're considering an iron infusion, I was one second away from getting a home but got rejected, I have people telling me if I go bankrupt I'll ruin my life, I can't even raise the funds to go bankrupt!

Leaving was hard, but this is hard too! Having to deal with all of the debt that was only ever put in my name! I'm so so so tired

Is there nothing you can do to get HIS debt removed from your name? Was it fraudulently in your name?
Virtual hugs and

Everything in my name, he would say to get this and that and all in my name, not even an electric bill in his name!

@Fedupofitnow123 have you contacted women’s aid?

Also speak to rights of women.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this my sweet. Leaving an abusive relationship is very hard. But you will get through it. Use every single resource available to you.

Speak to women’s aid for help, they’ll have seen it all before.

Speak to rights of women they give legal advice. I’m sure you can get help for the contact court case.

And I absolutely would apply for CMS. Do it through the it takes you out of the line of fire. Your dc deserve financial support from both their parents. Also it will help with baby stuff.

Is your midwife aware of your situation? They’re usually good at offering support too.

When I went through my dc child contact hearing, thankfully my case had been referred to a dv specialist judge. Ex actually sat there calling me promiscuous and a whore and slut and criticised everything about me down to my dress style. At the end when the judge made the judgement, she actually addressed every last accusation ex had made against me even about my being inappropriately dressed, I’d just ignored it and concentrated on getting across why my dc needed protecting from ex. Judge stated she found me to be a smartly dressed, softly spoken woman. Ex was spitting, but couldn’t do anything about it.

Get your iron levels sorted, have GP checked you’re vitamin D levels, that also makes you feel awful.

One foot in front of the other and take one day at a time. Don’t think too far ahead, get thro today first. It will get better.

Do you have anyone to go with you to court?

@frazzledasarock Thank you for taking the time to reply to me,

I haven't contacted womens aid so will do this tomorrow, I think I really need to do this!

Luckily I had a pre booked appointment at the doctors today so mentioned the vitamin D, so now she has also said she wants to check my thyroid to and I have an appointment in the morning for a fasting blood test, thank you for that guidance!

I'm so scared about having this baby because I'm scared of the post natal period and my moods, I'm already finding it hard!

Midwife has been absolutely fantastic, I'm seen every 3 weeks and they're keeping a close eye on me!

I don’t know you. But the way you describe your oldest son you’re an amazing mum. The post baby period will work out, you will have a lovely new baby and the three of you will be a team.

Mine were 2 & 4 years old when I got divorced. And we had our own little world. My dc and I are really close because for a good few years it was just us three. We’d have lots of fun together and nobody to stop us or put a dampener on our days.

I had really bad vitamin D deficiency it seemed (in my case) to go hand in hand with being anaemic. I didn’t realise till it was sorted, quite how awful I had been feeling.

Definitely speak to women’s aid, they will be able to offer practical advice and help.