Ex dp, ds, fake name, extra kids, second thread

[Fedupofitnow123]

Thank you for your continued support, I'm starting this thread regarding the impending court hearing tomorrow, if someone could link my previous thread that would ne highly appreciated!

Your amazing x

Good news about your dad.

I wouldn't be normal if you skipped happily ever after into your new future. It has been life changing, and traumatic.

It is okay not to be okay. Just trust that you will get there.

You are doing all the right things, but it will take time.

You are stronger than you think. You are giving your children the best possible future.

Its not a neat straight line from point a to b. More of a random squiggle! Your emotions will be up and down, practical stuff gets in the way, and you feel like you're no further forward. Then one day you realise how far you have come.

You have shown bravery and strength. Its there inside of you.

I believe in you x

Thank you every one!

Both mine and ds nightmares have been quite bad this week, have a lot to do next week which is good but also the dreaded day is almost upon us! Ds is scared, he said because of the time I went out and he was assaulted by his father, logically he knows his father isnt here to do that, but emotionally he hasn't accepted it.

He has emotional support from outside sources so that is something

Hi FedUp, sorry, I completely lost your thread.

Just checking in to see how you are getting on.

The debt stuff sounds horrible - another issue for you to sort out.

But hopefully, one by one, they will go down like skittles.

It is really good you were able to explain to the Family Support Worker what upset you in the workshop. And good that you have the support of a Support Worker.

Just to say still thinking of you, and especially as you approach the court date.

I have been lurking and I just wanted to say how well you have done and your son sounds such a lovely boy. Wishing you luck OP x

@blouseandskirt and others

Thank you for your continued support, d day is here. Been awake since 2:30 am, his defence basically says I'm lying about everything.

Best of luck. I'm another that's read both threads and so chuffed you got your happy Xmas and light at the end of the tunnel. Perhaps you don't have a happy place but a happy day instead?
Anyway best of luck today, hope it goes well for you and whatever happens, know you have a whole army of mums net women stood shoulder to shoulder with you. Xx

The mumsnet army is so strong in my mind and helps me through!

I'm exhausted right now and actually just rested my eyes in the car, I never usually do that as have a fear of crashing and waking up half way through! Totally exhausted!

Stay strong! You can do this. The adrenaline will kick in soon and keep you awake. We are all behind you. Xx

Thinking of you

Hope someone is going with you? Best of luck, stay strong and remember this is just one day, one day to gain more closure to be able to move on with the rest of your life xx

I’ve been lurking, but wanted to pop on and say that you’ve got my support in spirit

Wishing you strength and luck today OP xx

Good luck today OP!!

Sending strength to you

Good luck today. You are an incredible strong inspirational woman. Your son is lucky to have you.
We're all behind you

You have been through so much, and are so strong, I'm in awe! I just wanted to say I think it's a bit odd that traumatised women doing the Freedom Programme should be expected to have a "happy place" for meditation purposes. I've done a fair bit of therapeutic meditation, visualisation, mindfulness etc and I think at your stage you should be guided in your visualisations, e.g. you're on an isolated beach, waves lapping, warm breeze, sun on your face - as one example. My tutor was great at this, particularly describing a walk to a garden, exploring the garden, sitting under a tree, feeling the grass, smelling the flowers. Scenarios being in close contact with nature work best for me

Good luck today

It's just really shook me, almost bumped into him in the local shop (buying lunch as being pregnant makes it harder) and the court also wont allow me to have a separate waiting room! Hes here. It's awful! This can't be right

Wishing you the very best
Keep calm
Remember your truth is THE truth

No it isn’t bloody right!

But you have right in your side!

“his defence basically says I'm lying about everything”
Well, they would say that, wouldn’t they!
The thing is, there is evidence. And circumstance. No one in their right mind would think that a pregnant woman with a child would flee to be a lodger in someone else’s home taking nothing but debts...

And that’s before you get started on his fake name etc.

Hold your head high (in your mind and heart), concentrate on your breathing, and imagine us all on your side.

Good luck FedUp, sending love, it must be truly horrible.

I’ve just read both threads. You are doing amazingly well.

I’ve recently supported a childhood friend through similar as she arrived on my parents doorstep one night in the middle of the night, accompanied by a social worker.

In her case it was reported by a member of the public as they witnessed him being violent. She is over a year out of it and she and the kids are thriving, he was very controlling and violent.

I will say that it took her ages to recognise some of it as abuse, like the fact he frequently raped her. And even now she feels sorry for him, despite the court saying he is to have no contact at all, she says it’s awful that he doesn’t get to see his kids. He recently went to prison (for something unrelated) and she worried about him.

Years and years of conditioning don’t disappear overnight.

You are so strong OP

We're all with you OP. 🍀🍀🍀