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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Ex dp, ds, fake name, extra kids, second thread

793 replies

Fedupofitnow123 · 28/11/2019 22:47

Thank you for your continued support, I'm starting this thread regarding the impending court hearing tomorrow, if someone could link my previous thread that would ne highly appreciated!

OP posts:
Jux · 28/12/2019 23:13

You are fabulous! And so is ds!

Glad you had a good Xmas, many more ahead of you.

REignbow · 31/12/2019 12:15

Sending you good wishes and a fantastic ‘20s.

New year, new life, new you

Dominoz · 31/12/2019 21:45

Happy New Year. New year, new decade and new start for you and your DS, wishing you all the best.

LauraMipsum · 31/12/2019 22:17

Happy new year - I hope 2020 is the year you feel properly free again.

MissingMySleep · 31/12/2019 23:48

Happy new year fed-up, I hope it brings you and DC a wonderful future x

Fedupofitnow123 · 01/01/2020 10:36

Thank you every one! Happy New Year to you all!

Ds and I spent the evening watching films together and then fell asleep!!

I hope you all had lovely evenings!

OP posts:
LannieDuck · 01/01/2020 14:12

Your last few posts have been so uplifting. I'm really glad your DS is so happy.

Fedupofitnow123 · 01/01/2020 14:21

Thank you @lannieduck inside I am still struggling as the dreams and nightmares are really demonstrating!

Does anyone know any good breakup songs that would fit this situation?

I have bad blood by Taylor Swift, but that is all,

Facing 2 hours of walking next week every day so I think this might be a good time to listen to music, think, and cry

OP posts:
Capricornandproud · 01/01/2020 15:44

Bloody hell OP. I remember your first thread and just read both. I feel sick for you and had a cry while my little bot watches HP.

Christ alive woman.... you are a real inspiration. I had to go to court once for something minor and I shit myself. I know you don’t feel strong right now but believe me; you are. I’m trying to get away from an abusive guy but thanks to people like you, and the wise advice on here, I’ve finally spotted the red flags and I’ve cottoned on early rather than letting myself believe the lies. It is so hard to walk away from something you wanted because your head knows its the right thing. Well done!!!

Capricornandproud · 01/01/2020 15:44

...and Alison Krauss sings some heartbreaking songs as does Kelly Clarkson. Xxx

Fedupofitnow123 · 01/01/2020 18:09

@capricornandproud thank you for the singers.

I'm dreading court again, it's just a pre trial, but I really don't want to go and it is effecting me.

I really don't feel strong at all! I can't wait for it all to be over! I am so glad it could help you though and so glad you're getting free too, especially as its early for you!

OP posts:
Capricornandproud · 01/01/2020 18:21

You’ll do so great. Honestly - it’s hard to see how brave you’re being because I’m sure you feel anything but at the moment. But even putting one foot in front of the other every day, every smile you plaster on that you don’t feel for DS’ sake... all those small yet giant things take grit. Keep on keeping on.

BlouseAndSkirt · 01/01/2020 18:35

Hey FedUp, SO pleased you had a good Christmas, what a relief to be able to relax and enjoy it with your boy instead of tiptoeing in eggshells.

Did he like his guitar?

The court business sounds very daunting. I don't think any of us would want to go through it. Can you talk to them about you being separated from him? On video or something? Just remember, it isn't you taking him to court, it is the police and CPS who have decided the level of his criminal behaviour is worthy of them wanting to prosecute him.

Easy for me to say, I know.

Why all the 2 hour walks? Good NY fitness regime!

You need strong independent woman songs. Even cheesy ones like 'I will survive'!

See what Spotify suggests open.spotify.com/playlist/41OvtggAF0rF13MS9w6WCT

HNY, FedUp - 2020 is your year.

PerfectionistProcrastinator · 01/01/2020 21:18

Wow OP, just read through both threads and although you may not feel strong, you have shown enormous courage.

I’m not sure if any of the songs fit your circumstances exactly but Alanis Morissette’s album, jagged little pill is great for songs that help you get the anger out, some relationship/breakup themed if I remember right.

BeUpStanding · 01/01/2020 21:26
BeUpStanding · 01/01/2020 21:28
Fedupofitnow123 · 01/01/2020 22:18

@blouseandskirt ds absolutely loved his guitar and has been playing it a lot recently! He can wire it up himself and cried on Christmas, he was so shocked with what he recieved!

Thanks for the songs, it's strange, we both had been doing well up until today, it's the first year ds really understood what the new year meant and his behaviour really sucked today! All day long he was so naughty and hard to manage! He apologised when it was bedtime!

I've found today really hard too, I think the heartbreak is starting to set in! I miss some aspects of my old life so much and so much has changed! I miss so much! My routine, my work, my fridays, being me, having space, although I know that I wasnt really able to be me, it's just really really hard to express how I feel and I can see why ds behaved so badly today!

Currently led in bed having a little cry! Well, a sob! It's just so hard.

OP posts:
Fedupofitnow123 · 01/01/2020 22:20

It's just like our whole life changed with one big swoop! Everything, our whole dynamic, I've had to make some difficult decisions and some were even taken out of my hands, I've had to change things massively to ensure our security! I miss what ds and I had before, we are both struggling a lot! Sorry I'm rambling :(

OP posts:
FrazzledCareerWoman · 01/01/2020 22:44

I've just read both threads in their entirety. Wow @fedupofitnow123 what a wonderful mother and strong woman you are -- I'm so happy for you and your son making a fresh start, safe and with family around you. Court proceedings are horribly stressful, you're coping amazingly. GOOD LUCK, everyone here is behind you x

@frazzledasarock I remember your thread as well! Hope you're doing well and the new little one is thriving too x

FrazzledCareerWoman · 01/01/2020 22:45

@fedupofitnow123 it's normal to feel that way with a big change. Rationally you know it's for the best -- and in the future you'll create your new normal, new comforts. This too shall pass Brew

Kraai · 01/01/2020 23:26

OP I've just read it all too. I'm so happy you got out and another one who is right behind you.

I may have missed this but I haven't seen it said so wanted to add.

Your DS sounds like a really lovely boy. He sounds kind, sensible, empathic, socially smart and very importantly too he's able to be open and honest with you about how he's feeling.

Two things stand out for me from that.

First, he's grown up with an incredibly abusive father, yet he's not really anything like him. While the homeschooling and working from home ideas no doubt were about co trolling you, what that may have done was shelter him from a lot of the negative impact of the extreme stress caused by his father. You have been a soothing influence, steady, stable and loving. While obviously his father has impacted him, he's also been able to cling to the rock of safety that you provided throughout even the worst storms. He's not had to go through things like bullying at school, or minor mishaps with friends, stressful class situations of teachers. While in ordinary circumstances they may be fine, in your DS it would have been additional stress. Staying with you has meant he's had time with very limited stress. This is a great thing for his social, emotional and quite possibly neurological development in the circumstances.

Second is that while his father has shown him what it is to shut emotions down, you have shown him what it is to have a voice and he heard. He told you he wanted to leave and you saved him.

Thirdly, all the goodness that oozes out of that little boy of yours is an absolute direct reflection of what you filled him up with. You are an incredible mother. If you ever, ever doubt it, look at him and how he is: he couldn't be so lovely if your ex had spent all that time with him instead of you. Your ex's behaviour was a negative parent in force (even in the good times, because he was setting DS up to mistrust). You overrode most, if not all of that. You have a natural strength beyond what you've realised.

Kraai · 01/01/2020 23:28

Sadly, I can't count! Grin

Fedupofitnow123 · 02/01/2020 08:38

@Kraai your words have been such a soothing influence on a really hard night!

I've read what you have written many times and taken a screenshot, so thank you! They are lovely words and are helping fill my soul when I feel drained and washed out!

Off to the midwife today!

OP posts:
Kraai · 02/01/2020 18:35

Fedup thank you for your kind words. :)

I hope the midwife appointment went well.

Lorddenning1 · 02/01/2020 19:40

Cher - stronger