Ex dp, ds, fake name, extra kids, second thread

[Fedupofitnow123]

Thank you for your continued support, I'm starting this thread regarding the impending court hearing tomorrow, if someone could link my previous thread that would ne highly appreciated!

To do with the treatment of me, he was instructed to get a child arrangement order sorted asap.

We stopped for food, so a bit more positive and less doom, for now, I'm not sure how the weekend will go mentally, I'm not planning to do anything.

Wow, well done @Fedupofitnow123 Hope you get a really good night sleep tonight

Well done, OP! You got through today.

Time to breathe, relax, rest. Be kind to yourself and enjoy your freedom.

You are brave and you are strong!

Well done. I can't even imagine how tough today has been. Your DS is going to be brimming with pride as he gets older and knows how strong you have been for you both.

Wow. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for.

Go have a sit/lie down and rest. Xxxx

Surely this all means that despite his lies, the court believes you? (I am not a lawyer, nor have I been through anything like this myself, but if he had any credibility, surely you wouldn't have been granted a non-molestation order for a year?)
Relax and breathe, enjoy Christmas with your lovely son, you have time now to properly prepare for court in the New Year.

💐

I read your first thread in one go late last night. You were in such a horrible situation but you have taken control and now you are legally protected from him.
It's such a big thing that you have done and today recognises formally that he's a danger to you. But also makes it 'real' and something you can't go back from. Until today you could have (if you were crazy) have gone back to the old life, tapping, cameras and all. You can grieve for the family you wanted. You would never have got it but it's the dream being over.
Be kind to yourself for now.

Well done OP. You have been so amazing and brave, not just today but every day.

I read your first thread for a few pages then didn't see it again until today somehow. I can't believe all that has happened. You are so brave and so incredible and should be proud of yourself. Your doing this for you and your boys, for yours and their future. You can do this op, keep strong xx

Must be ghastly to go through, but it's a means to an end - you've done the hardest bit in getting away.
You and your son are safely away from him, and your baby will be safe.
It will get better.

Another one who has just read your first thread & wanted to say how much I admire your bravery and spirit. You’re AMAZING!
Feeling exhausted and down is absolutely normal after all that adrenaline has been coursing through your body. You have done some very difficult things. Be kind to yourself & take time to rest.
Your son sounds like a wonderful, intuitive, loving boy - just like his mummy. You are a lioness!
Good luck with all that is to come - we are all behind you OP xxx
As C S Lewis said, ‘Courage Dearheart!’

Wow. Just wow. Completely up to speed with both threads.
You. Are. Amazing. What an example you are setting, not only for your DS but everyone who is reading this.

Get some rest. Eat some chocolate. And keep remembering how far you’ve come in such a short space of time, you may have a journey ahead of you but with the support you’ve got you’ll smash it.

Inspirational

Enjoy your Christmas. You have at least 3 months peace from him.
Take a week or so and relax and then discuss with the solicitor what's the forthcoming plan.

Well done OP I've been watching this thread quietly. I'm guessing the trial is due to him being charged with domestic abuse is that it?

When he breaks that non-molestation order (which includes any type of contact even via a third party) you need to ring the police immediately and they will then have grounds to arrest him.

I've been where you are. I promise you it gets better.

Just want to say Well Done and give you a massive hug.

I have been exactly where you are, its horrible, an emotional roller coaster and you are doing so well. The courts are taking this very seriously so thats brilliant.

Just try and keep strong. I am 13 years on and so much better away from it all xx

I read your first thread this morning and have read this one whilst putting DS to bed. I'm trying so hard not to wake him up with my crying. I've been there. My DS is 10 months and I booted his dad out after he hurt DS at 7 months. It's so difficult sometimes but I am so much more relaxed and cheerful. I wake up happy every day and love the freedom I have, there's no judgement or shame at all from anyone.

It's so fucking hard but keep going. You'll find happiness in the tiniest moments and joy in the kind words of your son. I'm so proud of you. You are amazing and don't let him make you forget it.

For now, rest. Eat your favourite foods and watch a favourite film. Cuddle your son. It will get better, I promise.

Raed both threads.

Well done, Fedup. This is when your adrenaline evaporates and you need to rest. You've done the most important, urgent stuff, and you can give yourself a break. And a reward - at least a bit of chocolate!

You've done the hardest thing OP - you've left him. Well done.
Have a quiet weekend and maybe let others look after you where possible?

I've followed your threads and have nothing useful to add except that I noticed the date of your OP. It was just a month ago. You have been so brave and come so far in just one month. Take care of yourself today and don't think of the future until tomorrow

You have done amazingly well. This was a massive hurdle that you have gotten over. And to get a years is fantastic.
You have 3 months to ‘relax’ and to try and come to terms with what has happened. There will be good and bad days for both of you. It’s really normal. It’s such an emotional time. Remember what you’re fighting for, it will help.

Don’t be pushed into making rash decisions unless you really have to. Take your time and try and do things on your terms.

Well done for getting through it, OP, utterly gruelling.

Child Arrangement Order? I very very much hope that the court won't say he can have any access to Ds .

Since DS was subject to abuse too. Are Cafcass involved?

Op you're doing amazingly. They will never tell the truth at these kind of hearings, but truth absolutely will tell in the end. Its awful the fucker is forcing you to go through all this for even longer but you have evidence (texts etc), it'll be ok. A long period of waiting, but it does take time and you'll get there in the end. Keep going. X

OP you are amazing. Go easy on yourself. I am a daughter of a coercively controlling/abusive father and you are doing the right thing.