Dating Thread 175 - It's not you, it's them. Also: people are weird at Christmas time.

[MoreNiceCereal]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Mr grays not been on WhatsApp at all since Friday 🤷🏼‍♀️. So either he’s busy or turned his phone off sorting stuff out etc. But last messages we sent were 😘 Emoji back and forth a few times. Like kids 😂 so I’ll just hang about I deleted Pof when it got hacked and I don’t have the energy now to start anything else

@Jane1978xx I hope he gets sorted whatever he has going on, keeping fingers crossed you can then go back to 4 times a night with him! 😁🤞

So after my first overnight with Mr E I think I might need a pew on the smitten bench 😻

Come on over! I've made myself very cosy with duvets and cushions and hot chocolate.

Time I have followed your heartbreak and would say that hooking up with anyone right now will not be "fun" unless you have just a drink with someone and then maybe you'll be playing with their emotions.

I say this only as have been exactly where you are, tried the distraction route, ended up crying with a couple and feeling even more disillusioned and discarded.

All this stuff about having "fun" - maybe the men do as they ghost, breadcrumb and bench, but for the sensitive soul not so much.

Maybe there are some woman who can mechanically shag around and be divorced from any feelings, but you don't sound like one of them to me.
Sorry if I'm speaking out of turn but I mean well and I am where you are still ....five months later! Still yearning for a reunion.

Azzizam 💐 so sorry you're feeling like that 5 months down the line. God it's hard isn't it. It keeps going through my mind that maybe in a few months time he'll get in touch like he did before but I don't really expect it to happen. So I really want to just get all thoughts of that and him out of my mind. I want to be as logical and sensible and strong about it as I can- it's done with him for good. I want to get to the point of not caring because hopefully something better has come along.

I actually am the type to can separate sex and emotion a lot of the time and I have no issue with doing that in some ways. But it easier as a one night stand- FWB doesn't seem to work for me. At least not when you start getting feelings

I sort of think that a distraction at the moment will be the lesser of two evils- sitting around doing nothing whilst knowing he has someone and is having a good time will be even more upsetting. At least if I can go on some dates I won't be moping.

I reckon I could shag Mr Cleaver for fun and have no issues with it emotionally. The only issue there is him being a work colleague. Although the added excitement of that has some appeal atm. I'm not going there though.

I agree @Azzizam I'm still there 2 months later. Think you just have to sit it out really. Sorry

Time I am sure you know best for you ☺ I guess my experience is colored by the fact I have a history of attracting worse than useless shags! Lol.
I wish you above all peace of mind and that goes for you too Unambiguous

I do to you as well @Azzizam.

The thing is I'm just surprised how much it's hurt me as all throughout I never thought it was going anywhere and fully expected it to happen. A couple of times I wondered if he was just going to go quiet and the thought of that was so much easier than the finality of what has happened. But also how lovely he was the other night. And the pain of knowing that the friendship has to end because there is always that temptation there between us.

I can easily sleep with people with no feelings 😂 just not with him!

I am sticking to my rule I mentioned though. If I start getting feelings and it's not reciprocated, I'm ending it immediately. I'm not going through this again.

Time 👍👍👍

I've changed my name in advance of the new thread (MoreNiceCereal). We blitzed through this one quickly, didn't we! Who's starting the next one?

I hope you can find peace, @Azzizam, @unambiguousbeard and @TimeTravellingDiamond.

Opening ourselves up to connection with others makes us terribly vulnerable. It's a scary thing. I frequently swing from elated to terrified, though I'm slowly becoming more settled.

I'm going for a name change too...

Just in case...
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3763350-Dating-thread-176-where-we-get-through-Christmas-with-team-carpark-updates?watched=1

Timetravelling here

Ooh.... should I namechange? I'm not sure. I mean I'm not weepingandwanking any more so it holds true but I'm not sure whete I could go with names...
TeamCarpark? Lol

Not changed my name, just trying to force close this thread...

I think it'll get confusing if too many of us do it. I'll hold off a bit longer i think

Are we nearly there yet...?

... Which sounded a bit rude but you know what I mean I hope...

I spent £44 on lipstick and nail varnish yesterday. And another tenner on new stockings. I repeat my earlier assertion (after 200 quid spent on lingerie) that dating is expensive...

I hope you are not about to ask if we can stop for a wee, I said you should try before we left 🤣🤣

W&Wnomore would work for a new name?

Still. At least some of the lingerie will get a workout next saturday.... hopefully

Hah. No i don't need a wee but have you got a snack?