Dating Thread 175 - It's not you, it's them. Also: people are weird at Christmas time.

[MoreNiceCereal]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I think I'm more worried about friends/family/ex seeing me on something like tinder - small town everyone knows each other and gossips 🤦‍♀️

Not sure if its appropriate after only splitting 3 months ago.

I dont have any pics of me tbh not without kids anyway and I'm not a selfie fan, makes me feel a bit silly trying to choose a picture and write a profile to 'show off' myself if that makes sense.

Maybe a bit of insecurity there

@SnazzyLump. Mines come back to 🥵 had an amazing night the other night. The convo we had was not to name anything 🤷🏼‍♀️. I’ve said before Fwb just seems to be you don’t go past the emotional level of the first few months of a relationship. To me it’s not eve really a thing. I wouldn’t live with another man for a very long time where as in the past I’ve always done that in months.

Also I was always on Pof with my profile off so I just mesage people but no one could see me before

FWB is more the sort of thing I want, I dont want to look for a new relationship or.anything serious.

Just feel like I need a bit of fun and to get back into it, havent been single since I was 18 🤦‍♀️ so it's all a bit scary lol.

I didnt realise young could do it so they cant see you??

Yes on Pof hide your profile and mesage people and then they can.

off to sign up 🤣🤣

It’s at the bottom of settings ;-). Then I go on nearby men and say hi 😬.

Hi all, pleased to say I have a new iron at last. Not as physically into him as mr straight, he lives an hour away but says the match is more important than the distance. We will call him mr Manchester. Mr straight still lurking around but putting my effort into Mr Manchester.

@bangheadhere40 sounds great ! Hope you get to meet him soon

Done Lol having a look through now !

A bit excited

Thanks Jane xxx he seems keen. Just got to get out there I guess .

@bangheadhere40. Yes I think thats the only
Way

He's asked me out

We need a new thread, not sure how to do

Shiiittteeee
What is the etiquette for being caught on a date by a previous date?!
The date tonight didn't see but what do I say to the other person?! I'm internally cringing so hard it's practically physical 😣
The previous guy is the one I like most out of the two too😔

Maybe don’t say anything 🤷🏼‍♀️ If it’s first dates then they are likely seeing other people too

Instant swipe lefts?

• where you have no idea which one is them because they're all group pics
• where they don't smile in a single photo
• were you can't see what they look like because too far away/hat/sunglasses etc

-where they're lying in bed looking seductive. It's creepy -where they're flexing inti the mirror

• when the phone is aimed at their crotch

-when you spot they're wearing skinny trouaers, loafers and no socks -when they're all over a woman. I don't care who it is, it's weird on a dating site -where they give no personal info or bio at all

Thanks all for hope's of a slow burn. Me too. Marlboro crazy eh but it sounds like he suits you for just now. unambiguous yeah it's all fun and games at the start but I feel like I've turned into some kind of expert on irrational behaviour/narcissim/emotional unavailability/love bombing etc. Its not really what I hoped for

Re messaging my rule was always just....equal pequels. With the man doing more initiating to begin with. And no double texts. e.g. if I started the last convo I don't start the next. But nothings hard and fast.

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking good list.

Think I posted before but for some reason I also loathe any pics from weddings. I don't know what it is- I'm not a fan of suits 😂

Also if they aren’t fully clothed

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking
Yes to all these! Especially the in bed photos.
I will add pouting photos to the list.
Glad you have a new person :)
I am after getting a proper date now. Not just either sexting then it fizzles out, which has its place! And not sleeping with them on the first date - which is also obviously half my fault and I did want to, but that's all I wanted. I want to just get to know someone slowly for a change. Still finding online dating a bit brutal and weird to be honest. Some bloke told me my pictures weren't like me and I was older than he thought - he was the same age and no oil painting. Also one of my pictures was from 2 weeks ago!

@novicedater he told you to your face you look older or in a mesage

@Jane1978xx
It was in a message, but it's so rude!! I don't!!!

@novicedater he was just a twat, don't give it another thought.

I've always found OLD a bit weird. FWB was literally the most lovely normal straightforward person and I met him on tinder- he definitely was a needle in a haystack I reckon.

So I'm hoping Mr Music messages me again today. I'd just really like to go on a date. I don't think it'd be anything other than fun but if he's nice I might be down for that atm- itd be a fairly low risk one I think, compared to Mr Cleaver 😂

There is also another guy I've been on a couple of dates with and have been messaging a few months. When I was down the other day I messaged him and was upfront about the fact I've been flaky with him because of FWB. He seemed keen on the idea of just having some fun but I don't know if it's a good idea because maybe around him my feelings about FWB will come into play as he was on the scene at the same time.

I'm really regretting playing some of my favourite music when having sex with FWB. I can't listen to it now 😭😂

Wow he didn’t need to say that at all
What a knob !!!