Dating Thread 175 - It's not you, it's them. Also: people are weird at Christmas time.

[MoreNiceCereal]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I have a friend date set for Sunday with a girl i met on Bumble bff and i think in honestly as excited - if not more so - as about any date dates.

In other news i blocked Mr Beard after he said something that triggered a whole load of things my ex used to do. Abort! Abort! And i have been chatting with Mr IT who luves 2 hours away but has no kids and seens keen to meet soon. I only had ine free date before xmas and hes making it work. However... there may be a MH roadblock. Stbx was seriously fucked up. Mr Beard obviously had issues. Was talking about related topic with Mr IT and he has confessed to also having sime stuff going on. Will talk to him on phone about it.

Does every man just have some shit going on these days or do I have some kind of broken man lure emanating on the dating apps...?

Sorry to hear it, @Sunshineandflipflops

Sunshineandflipflops fingers crossed he comes back with the answer you want. Hopefully he's just having a blip and it will sort itself out.
But well done for asking that difficult question. Not easy to do.

Oh sunshine I’m sorry to hear that. Hope you get the answer you want and deserve but you are a tough cookie so I know you will be fine either way!

Sunshine I hope you get the answer you want.

@Sunshineandflipflops I'm sorry to hear that. I had similar issues with Mr R at about 4 months but think that was 75% me being insecure and 25% him being crap (or maybe 50% each?). We discussed it in person and things have improved. I really hope you can work it out as up until now your updates have been so positive and it was good to see you on the smitten bench.

Thanks. He's just replied, almost an hour later saying are you mad, of course I want to be with you!

He said he's trying to be positive (he has lots of things worrying him at the moment, which I understand and he suffers with anxiety anyway).

I guess I take his word for it and hope it is just a blip because things have been really good.

How do you get an emotional thick skin? Does it get easier when someone ghosts you or they are obviously not who they pretended to be, how do you stay positive and open but not start investing, I’m not sure I’m cut out for the world of OLD!

stuckinarut I think experience is key for developing a thick skin/not over-investing, plus little tricks like meeting quickly and remembering the OP rules. I think it’s also important to invest in other aspects of your life - DC, work, family, hobbies - and not think OLD is the answer to everything.

None of us is cut out for OLD when we start, it’s a learning process for sure.

I’m off out at 7 but need some motivation 😂🤷🏼‍♀️

Good luck Jane.

MrStraight came back (again). I'm taking a different outlook on him now, I'm messaging other men etc, he can be someone to joke about with if I'm bored that's it.

No more getting carried away again.

I'm just being cool, he's being all nicely again....hinting about coming up again.

I told him I'm going to make an effort with other men, he's right about the distance and that I'm cool with it.

Not going out now story of my life 😂 secretly happy I can go to bed at 7 x

What happened Jane x

He’s got to have his kid last min. But we are going for lunch and drink tomorrow afternoon x

Which suits be better to be honest as I’m knackered today and I’ve got the excuse of being home for school run x

Ah new thread, I wondered where everyone was.

Date tonight with new iron, Mr Scot.
Only matched with him yesterday, but he seems ok, so far.

Jane1978xx hope you're ok. I actually wish I could have an early night.

Stuckinarut79 use this thread for support and advice. Remember the rules. If it's not fun then have a break. OLD is an emotional rollercoaster. Just try and enjoy the good bits and don't take it too seriously.

Yeah he’s genuine . He’s rang me and we are going for lunch Tomorrow. X

Hi simon still all good with Mr NN?

Developing a thick skin takes practice. I look at OLD as quite a bizarre sort of social experiment.

And I stand by my choice of thread title but would expand it to say people are weird all year round. I guess the goal is to find someone who is your version of weird.

Ah, that’s fortunate @Jane1978xx and something to look forward to.

@bangheadhere40 I’m rubbish at keeping them at arms length if I secretly care about them. I end up getting drawn back in 🙄

Yeah he’s off work to use holidays and my company is the US so I can have a bit of time off . I will report back tomorrow at school run time

@khalessi same...the more indifferent I am the more he tries too.

I agree @MoreNiceCereal and you find out quite a bit about yourself too. This thread and relationships topic in general have been hugely helpful to me.