Dating Thread 175 - It's not you, it's them. Also: people are weird at Christmas time.

[MoreNiceCereal]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I went back on pof but hid my profile to avoid the onslaught and just message if interested. But... I’m still getting the odd message and meet me alerts? I replied to one guy - apparently I’ve come up in a search... maybe a glitch. Not as full on as when I unhide my profile but still coming through. 😑 not completely hidden then.

A quick update from Mr S being off with me yesterday. We are back to normal today, think it was just a stressful day for him yesterday because he had a hospital appointment and due to different health reasons he has developed a fear of hospitals. He didn't tell me in advance though as he is used to trying to be independent and doing things like that on his own. I would have gone with him had I known but he knows that now. Not seeing him until Saturday night when he is staying round mine as I have event on Sunday which he is helping me with. First time he is staying but not much privacy as I live with friends while I save up a deposit so I usually go round his as he lives on his own. I'm happy everything is back to normality with him

Pof is glitching tonight I can’t even log in and I’ve had that hidden but showing up as well a few times

Date last night with Mr Scot was a bit dull. He seemed nice enough but I think he was nervous. It was difficult to keep the conversation going. We were both trying to think of things to talk about but the awkward silences were getting longer.
But at the end he asked if I wanted to meet again.
I said yes because I thought he might be more relaxed on a second date. But I haven't heard from him since then.

Sorry to hear that @EchoElephant

I’m having one last burst of enthusiasm and have sent out a few likes and messages. My hinge subscription runs until the 4th so I’ll take a break then if nothing doing!

Wondering if I can change my profile to say that I just would like a Christmas snog with someone I fancy.. that’s all I’m looking for right now..!! Is it too much to ask?!

🤔 my date for the weekend has texted to say he’ll be at the football during the day and can we meet earlier (we’d agreed 7).
I’m now wondering if he’ll be day drinking...

savoretti I’m so sorry about your father, that is such sad news. Even if it’s not unexpected, losing a parent is a terrible blow. Your ex sounds crass and insensitive, but I guess it’s nice that he wants to be at the funeral. He just needs to remember he’s there to support his DC, they should be his priority. 💐

Sorry about your dad savoretti

Khaleesii hopefully he'll have the sense and willpower to limit himself to one or two knowing he has a date. I'm wondering if he'll turn up in his team's shirt 😂

Savoretti my condolences as well, sorry to hear that.

savoretti I'm sorry for your loss.

Good luck on the date, Khaleesii.

Today is Thanksgiving, but in my house the pies are all that matter. Pumpkin, pecan, apple, cherry. Mmmm.

savoretti sorry to hear about your father

No words can describe your ex and the logic in bringing a new partner to the funeral!!

Sorry about your loss @Savoretti

I was surprised you turned up to the unmatched date @EchoElephant. I hope you didn't travel far.

Nice to hear from you @Marlboroandmalbec34 are things JUST friendly with you and Mr Big? Mr S popped back up about 2 months ago and said he wanted to be friends but thinks have not stayed entirely friendly. I'm not overwhelmed by it right now tbh. Maybe some things are best left in the last.

@Sunshineandflipflops sorry to hear you had a blip. Do you ever worry Mr AD might be drinking again? My ex was an alcoholic but all his attempts to give up weren't genuine so my perspective is skewed.

@Notcoolmum No, he's definitely not drinking. He has no desire to and works really hard to stay sober and help others do so. He just has lots to deal with as a result of years of drinking too much but he's getting there.

He'd never attempted to stop before as he was a functioning alcoholic (good job, etc) but in a very miserable situation so it wasn't until he and his ex wife separated and he moved away from the life he had (new city/new job/new sober friends) that he felt he could make a proper job of becoming sober.

Things are good now though after a chat yesterday (he had no idea I thought he was cooling off and says this is very much not the case) and we are going to book a hire car at the weekend so that he can come over on Xmas evening after the kids have gone to their dad's and stay until boxing day evening

That sounds good @Sunshineandflipflops and very serious to be spending Xmas day together. Does he have kids?

I’m
Off out in half an hour for my lunch date. So nervous I hate this bit 😬😬🤷🏼‍♀️

Got a drink with Mr Rigger tomorrow. he has switched to vaping because I told him smoking was a deal breaker.

I can't believe I missed he was a smoker on his profile but oh well. If I fancy him (and he smells OK) he'll make a very decent FWB

You know it’s nearly Christmas when... every single ex comes crawling out of the woodwork looking for affection!

@Notcoolmum Yes, he has two but they are older than mine (15 & 17) and live with their mum.

Sorry for your loss Savoretti My exh didn't even mention coming to my mother's funeral - and we were together for nearly 30 years!!

Sorry @Savoretti, I missed your post. I am really sorry for your loss.

I think it's fine and reasonable for your ex to want to go to the funeral but why on earth would he take a new girlfriend who hasn't met his kids and never met your dad?!

Hi everyone. I'm a long time lurker and I think i need you all. downloaded the apps again after a break. Asked to go for drinks, set the date for monday, i ask where to meet and then get instantly unmatched.

I know its standard behaviour but WHY WHY WHY? Don't ask for the date in the first place and waste my bloody time!!

So I’m back. He was lovely and we were snogging in the car park 😬. He’s away this weekend but we are going to go out again Sunday or Wednesday depending on kids etc.

Sorry for your loss @Savoretti

@Sunshineandflipflops that was a good update, I'm pleased that things are still good.

@jane1978xx lunchtime snogging? Briliant!