He won't accept we're separated

[cece]

We split nearly three months ago after I found out about an inappropriate relationship with another woman. It's not the first time and I said if it happened again we'd split. So we have.

However, he's still messaging me daily to ask me to talk about saving our marriage. I've told him repeatedly I don't want to talk about this as it's over. I feel trapped. He's just not listening to me.

Did he persist with this carry on last night? Or has he switched tactics?

Next time he's in his room sobbing, put some music on to drown him out!! 😈

Find a good female empowerment playlist and put it on when he is wailing. Not through earphones. Make sure he can hear it. Sing along. Anything to make sure he knows his histrionics are having no effect on you.

He's just ignoring me now 🙄

Well that's progress!

How long before he gets seriously angry at you for not falling into line do you think?

If you have asked someone to stop contacting you and they keep doing it, it us classed as harassment. I know because the police told me as I had a similar issue. I suggest you write an email and state there are to be no more whatsapps or texts and communication is to be solely regarding the children via email. Anything else will be ignored. Then do it. Ignore anything not child related.

Do you jointly own the house? Or is it rented?

Sorry for some reason reading the thread it skipped the page with the mortgage info.

OP you're doing so well. Well done.

We were formally separated and waiting on thev two years until I could file for divorce. He wouldn't accept it. Kept phoning me at work. One day it was 40 times. Came to my home at 7.30am. Phoned my son at his work 15 times.I

He actually was mentally ill and was in and out of hospital. I got my solicitor to send a letter telling him to stay away from my and ds. D's had to speak with solicitor to confirm his agreement to being included in the letter.
A copy was also sent to his father, his solicitor, and to his psychiatric social worker.

Thanks for the support and advice. I've found the letter this morning and he's written

Not until I've sorted out my mental health

On it.
🤔

Just go ahead with the divorce.
He seems to think that everything revolves around him and what he needs, when you also have needs.
Your need is to be rid of a cheating bastard

He can't stop you divorcing him OP, it's not an agreement. Plough ahead with it and factor in selling the house so you can move on. You have my sympathy as he sounds like a fucking nightmare

Ignore him and carry on with the divorce. Focus on you and the DC.

Have they witnessed any of his behaviour? I would be worried about their mental health.

It’s almost funny that he thinks you can’t initiate divorce proceedings if he doesn’t agree

He really is in for a shock.....

😂 seriously he still thinks he's in control!

It sounds awful for you. Maybe his mental health is fucked, maybe he's worried and scared, panicking about the future. Feeling anxious and like he's in a shit situation.....

Fucking newsflash man! You are and you deserve to be. Amazing how they pull the mental health shit as soon as you stand by your decision. Wasn't worried about your mental health when he was betraying you again was he.

Make plans op.lots of them. When I was stuck in the same house as ex for a few months I made as many plans as I could to be out of the house. My dog thought it's legs were going to fall off. We walked miles and miles to avoid home.

Can you get legal advice and make a plan to get away from him asap.

Oh my god! Men that hide arseholery behind mental health. So original.... not. Tell him to get a medical certificate.

you dont need his permission. His 'mental health' is just a guilt tripping stalling proceedure. And he will need to take responsibility to sort it out anyway, so you may as well do him the favour and rip the plaster of a marriage off as soon as possible so that he can get on with the process of healing instead of thinking that things might change

His mental health is his problem, not yours. And he doesn't get to dictate to you what happens when. You just crack on there, OP.

(I'd be writing under his little message. 'You are no longer my circus, or my monkeys. You will have to sort out your mental health without me.'

Me me me me me. He really doesn't give any fucks whatsoever about your needs does he?

4 messages overnight asking for us to try again. 🙄😱

He sounds like such a catch

Does he honestly believe he adds any kind of benefit, at all, to your life?

It's not about what he wants ! The fuckwit ....

Have you seen a divorce lawyer? My understanding is that you don't have to wait two years. You can divorce him for unreasonable behaviour and get the process started but you need advice about how to word it.

It is worrying that you are in a house with 3 children and a mentally unwell man who is not getting what he wants. Document everything as it is evidence of unreasonable behaviour and do not engage. Might the community PCSO or women's refuge be able to offer advice?