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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Update 3. I’ve sent the text

240 replies

Coronade · 23/11/2019 16:27

Hi all
Well it’s been a hard week. He was out with her all day Thursday but I was set on my plan to text him tonight when he was supposed to be away with her.
Found some nice dick pics he’d sent her and some of her in lingerie (he deleted them but forgot about the recently deleted file - thanks iPhone).
So I’ve take some of his stuff round to our new doer upper house with his quilt, pillow, camp bed and toiletries. I text him my message at 3.15pm basically saying I know about the affair ( I included her full nam) , that I don’t want him in our home again and that his stuff is round the other house. Also said I wanted to keep things as civil as possible for the children and that i didn’t want to see him again but hoped he would maintain a good relationship with them. No names, no swearing. It was very to the point. He read the message at 3.32 and was straight on WhatsApp (to her I assume).
No phone all begging for forgiveness (not that I want it) no response at all.
He is out today due back soon so I’m sitting in my friends drive with the dog waiting for her to get home. Telling DD when I collect her from work in a bit and DS will have to wait till tomorrow as he’s out drinking with his friends. So I’ve done it. It was so bloody hard to press the send key but I just kept visualising the pic he sent her if his hairy balls 🤮 really!!!!
Will keep you posted. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I’m dreading telling his mum too - I know he won’t - she will be devastated.

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 23/11/2019 16:31

You are so brave you are awesome. I don't know what else to say.

BumbleBeee69 · 23/11/2019 16:34

Well done OP.. sending warmth and strength to you ... you are better without this man in your life .. period Flowers

Oldstyle · 23/11/2019 16:37

Don't know the backstory but this sounds a truly impressive way to deal with the situation OP. Congratulations on your clear sense of purpose. Hope you have a nice bottle of something to toast yourself with tonight. Flowers from me.

heneverkeepshisword · 23/11/2019 16:37

Well done ThanksThanks

2littleChicks · 23/11/2019 16:37

Just take comfort now that he will be absolutely shitting his pants feeling sick that the cat is out of the bag.
You've shed a huge amount of dead weight. I'm so sorry you've gone through this but so happy for you at the same time. It's your chance to live your life. You've been incredible throughout this.

raspberrymoussecake · 23/11/2019 16:38

You've done the right thing and he will be bricking it (and deserves to be). Upwards and onwards xx

Goldenchildsmum · 23/11/2019 16:40

Wow - well done !

GiveHerHellFromUs · 23/11/2019 16:40

So proud of you - I can't believe you kept your cool for so long!

Mum4Fergus · 23/11/2019 16:43

Wow...you are fierce OP Thanks

OhioOhioOhio · 23/11/2019 16:45

How dignified. The start of a long road filled with truth.

Ilovethekitties · 23/11/2019 16:46

You are amazing and have been a super woman this whole time. Your poor DD, how are you going to break it to her?

Sending hugs!

Soulstirring · 23/11/2019 16:47

Just wow!!! So impressed with your strength and resolve.
Sending you buckets full of more xx

Grafittiqueen · 23/11/2019 16:51

Well done, keep strong. Thanks

Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 23/11/2019 16:54

Well done. It's onwards and upwards now. It's going to be tough for a while but life will be sooooo much better for you and the kids in the long run. Good luck to you

FoosBitch · 23/11/2019 16:56

Can you link to your previous threads? It sounds like you've been through the ringer. Wishing you strength OP.

kateandme · 23/11/2019 16:56

wow. mn hero here ladies and gntlemen.
did you post about this before?

Applepieco · 23/11/2019 16:57

First step! Well don you !

Span1elsRock · 23/11/2019 16:59

I've just read your other thread. You've done so well to take control of this awful situation.

I'd love to have seen his face when he read your message.

You deserve so much better Flowers

Xiaoxiong · 23/11/2019 17:00

Well done you and sending you strength to tell his mum. How lovely that you have a good relationship with her and I really hope it lasts Thanks

MashedSpud · 23/11/2019 17:01

I wonder how long it will be until he cheats on the ow. Not long I suspect.

Well done for getting rid of the spineless cheater. Don’t hesitate to let everyone know what he’s done.

Drabarni · 23/11/2019 17:02

Send the pics to his mum, whoops!

WizardOfAus · 23/11/2019 17:03
Flowers
Fedupofitnow123 · 23/11/2019 17:04

Oh I am so sorry for you!

FlabbyYetFabby · 23/11/2019 17:05

Well done OP. You are showing unbelievable strength of character, reward yourself accordingly x

BrassTactical · 23/11/2019 17:05

No idea of back story but well done and stay strong. It’s not so bad on the other side I promise, you will get yourself and your autonomy back.