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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Update 3. I’ve sent the text

240 replies

Coronade · 23/11/2019 16:27

Hi all
Well it’s been a hard week. He was out with her all day Thursday but I was set on my plan to text him tonight when he was supposed to be away with her.
Found some nice dick pics he’d sent her and some of her in lingerie (he deleted them but forgot about the recently deleted file - thanks iPhone).
So I’ve take some of his stuff round to our new doer upper house with his quilt, pillow, camp bed and toiletries. I text him my message at 3.15pm basically saying I know about the affair ( I included her full nam) , that I don’t want him in our home again and that his stuff is round the other house. Also said I wanted to keep things as civil as possible for the children and that i didn’t want to see him again but hoped he would maintain a good relationship with them. No names, no swearing. It was very to the point. He read the message at 3.32 and was straight on WhatsApp (to her I assume).
No phone all begging for forgiveness (not that I want it) no response at all.
He is out today due back soon so I’m sitting in my friends drive with the dog waiting for her to get home. Telling DD when I collect her from work in a bit and DS will have to wait till tomorrow as he’s out drinking with his friends. So I’ve done it. It was so bloody hard to press the send key but I just kept visualising the pic he sent her if his hairy balls 🤮 really!!!!
Will keep you posted. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I’m dreading telling his mum too - I know he won’t - she will be devastated.

OP posts:
ELM8 · 23/11/2019 17:23

Good work!! What a coward that he didn't even call. Hope you're ok Thanks

Elderflower14 · 23/11/2019 17:25

Huge well done from me... 🌸

Llioed · 23/11/2019 17:25

Well done OP, it must have been so hard but you know you are doing the right thing. Hand hold for when you tell your DC Flowers

Eckhart · 23/11/2019 17:26

OP I haven't read your previous posts, but this one... well... Dignity on a stick, with bells on. Well done.

JustLikeJasper · 23/11/2019 17:27

Well done OP Thanks

BodenGate · 23/11/2019 17:28

You sound amazing!

SlightlyBonkersQFA · 23/11/2019 17:30

Well done. Brew

justasking111 · 23/11/2019 17:31

You are a very brave woman who I think inspirational.

ChrisPrattsFace · 23/11/2019 17:35

That took courage op!

Doingitaloneandproud · 23/11/2019 17:38

Well done for doing it, you're a very brave woman and so much better off without him! You deserve way better Thanks

Gruzinkerbell1 · 23/11/2019 17:41

I’m sorry he hasn’t even had the decency to call you.

Tistheseason17 · 23/11/2019 17:41

OMG - so sorry you are going thorugh this. He's a total arse. Flowers

The best revenge is to be strong and get back to being you.

littlepaddypaws · 23/11/2019 17:46

pics of hairy balls urgh, bad enough in real life but photos of them ?? god, i feel vomiting. send them to his parents and mates. Grin

VenusTiger · 23/11/2019 17:47

Wow. Just wow. All that calm, all for the benefit of your kids, when you’re hurting inside! You deserve a medal and a brilliant mom award! Onwards and upwards for you all Flowers

Confuddledtown · 23/11/2019 17:48

Well done

userxx · 23/11/2019 17:48

What a twat 😞

SlightlyBonkersQFA · 23/11/2019 17:49

REad your other threads and you're a warrior @Coronade
The list of dates he was with OW could be dates he thought he needed excuses for (irrelevant now!)

I wonder if he's holding back on ringing you because he doesn't want the OW to know that you have found out and taken control. He's ''free'' now. Maybe he's digesting that before he tells her. Or maybe he's trying to check his bank balance before he rings you! Find out what you know before he gets his lies straight.

Motoko · 23/11/2019 17:57

Well done OP. You'll be ok, just take each day as it comes. You'll probably have a massive crash, because you've been holding it all in for so long, so allow yourself that, then pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and begin your new, better life.

Why do a lot of men think women enjoy looking at pictures of their hairy balls and cocks? They're fucking ugly!

MissMarpletheMurderer · 23/11/2019 17:58

Can you post the previous threads? Very impressed with you op

hellsbells99 · 23/11/2019 17:59

Well done Op Flowers

sam221 · 23/11/2019 18:01

Well done!!!

Toooldtobearsed2 · 23/11/2019 18:05

@Coronade, hope you dont mind

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3744293-Update-2-Soliciters-today

MoreToEatMoreToDrink · 23/11/2019 18:06

Well done op 💐

Toooldtobearsed2 · 23/11/2019 18:06

Oh, and by the way, I think you are amazing!

loveyoutothemoon · 23/11/2019 18:06

A very well done for holding on until now. That's a massive acheivement!
Onwards and upwards. Keep reaching for support on here and IRL.
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