Update 3. I’ve sent the text

[Coronade]

Hi all
Well it’s been a hard week. He was out with her all day Thursday but I was set on my plan to text him tonight when he was supposed to be away with her.
Found some nice dick pics he’d sent her and some of her in lingerie (he deleted them but forgot about the recently deleted file - thanks iPhone).
So I’ve take some of his stuff round to our new doer upper house with his quilt, pillow, camp bed and toiletries. I text him my message at 3.15pm basically saying I know about the affair ( I included her full nam) , that I don’t want him in our home again and that his stuff is round the other house. Also said I wanted to keep things as civil as possible for the children and that i didn’t want to see him again but hoped he would maintain a good relationship with them. No names, no swearing. It was very to the point. He read the message at 3.32 and was straight on WhatsApp (to her I assume).
No phone all begging for forgiveness (not that I want it) no response at all.
He is out today due back soon so I’m sitting in my friends drive with the dog waiting for her to get home. Telling DD when I collect her from work in a bit and DS will have to wait till tomorrow as he’s out drinking with his friends. So I’ve done it. It was so bloody hard to press the send key but I just kept visualising the pic he sent her if his hairy balls 🤮 really!!!!
Will keep you posted. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I’m dreading telling his mum too - I know he won’t - she will be devastated.

He didn't feel the need to talk and put your marriage right when he was sticking his cock in ow. He doesn't deserve any chances off you op.

I've followed this since the start, you are one classy lady. Big hugs though as the emotions will be up and down for a while yet. Having experienced my ex doing exactly what yours has - please prepare yourself.... when the tears and pleading don't work this type of person tends to turn nasty…. xx

Well done OP, you have shown amazing courage and dignity

I agree however that you should make him move out, so he isn't moping about around you. Let him go fester elsewhere.

How you doing, OP?

The sooner he leaves, the sooner you will get over it. I would have some fun with it?

Hmm, DxH, does her husband know about your affair with his wife?
Hmm, I think he has a right to know, don't you?
Wow, she did that to her kids? What kind of a heartless woman does that.
Hmm, I'd like to hear her DHs take on this. What's his name again.

Seriously, I'd make him sweat his bollocks off. You don't owe him anything.

Other woman far more likely to take him off your hands if you tell her husband.

Hope you’re as ok as can be op, you’ve been in my thoughts x

I've seen your threads but this is my first time commenting. Just wanna say well done! You're handling this so well!!
You're amazing x

What a lovely situation for your DH to go into. OW leaving her DH and DC for him, or leaving her DH and taking her DC with her to live with your exDH. She's a real catch. No more sharing dick pics and getting his hairy balls out. Her DC will hate him and the new cosy setup won't be that at all and his life will be a misery. He already knows this and this is why he didn't jump at moving in with her when he was caught out. He knows it won't work. He will go from having his cake and eating it and being an arrogant twat, to losing at least half his assets and having no one.

But, he will deserve it. His own DC won't give him the time of day.

By the way. Not sure if I read correctly but why are you only going for 1/2 of everything. There are 4 of you in that family and your 2 DC live with you. I'd fight for much more. They won't want to stay with him so he doesn't need an equal sized house.

How are you doing?

Hey OP. 6 months down the line and you often pop into my head and I wonder if you did get your little house and how you and dd and DS are doing? I hope all is well with you.

Hi, this seems like so long ago now.

He finally moved out in January. I expected it to feel better than it did but it all was a bit of a non event. I’ve got a buyer for the house and virus permitting, it’s going through ok🤞🍀 We are moving into the doer upper and he’s moving out of that into his mums. I’m really tempted to let him have all the money from the house sale in exchange for signing over the doer upper into my name only. One less financial tie.
I’m doing ok. I don’t miss him at all and he is still being a pathetic prick. Keeps texting me asking how I am and how my mum is and always puts kisses at the end ( he was always horrible about my mum and never text me let alone with xx). Even text me the other day asking if we could go for a walk and be friends!, No thanks,!, I just ignored it.
I get really cross with myself as he can still wind me up so much. On my birthday (one of those big number ones) we were making the best of things as due to the virus it was only me and the kids. He turns up crying, didn’t even say happy birthday just all “poor me” as the reality of being stuck on his own in a house for weeks while we were in lockdown was upsetting him!!
He’s still seeing the OW. I’ve no idea if she’s left her husband but my ex is obviously planning to set up home with her. They totally deserve each other.
The virus has slowed down my plans. I’m job hunting but there really isn’t much about. I did go and see a clairvoyant- In 2018 she predicted I’d separate from OH in Nov 2020 and last year she said that trouble would start in August and also mentioned the OW’s name (this is when they had their first meet up). She told me someone’s coming back from my past and has a connection to the name Alan. Nothings happened yet and I’m getting bored waiting now 😂 but I did have a couple of ex’s called Alan ( we are talking 30 yrs ago) .
I’m definitely stronger and more positive, I still am a bit up and down but I think that’s mainly due to lockdown stress.
The kids are ok. Ds is fine with his dad, thinks it’s all done and forgotten now he’s moved out but I knew he’d be like this as he hates conflict and is a people pleaser. Which is fine. Dd on the other hand can barely bring herself to talk to him, she told me she hates him. I make her see him every week for an hour doing a sporting activity but she hardly says 1 word to him. She hates all the lies and how he’s now acting like the hard done by one, crying for sympathy. Keeps texting her rubbish questions which just winds her up more. Not sure if I should force her to see him?
ExOH has told all his friends we grew apart (surprising how years of emotional abuse and an affair can do that) and unsurprisingly not one of the couples from his side has made any contact with me.
So I’m still hopeful I can get sorted this year and I will be back on if Alan appears 😉

Well done OP; its inspirational to see you caught him out and got him out. I know its not as simple as that but you made it.

And no I wouldn't be forcing any DCs to see him! Good luck with Alan ;)

Well done you!! You're a star!! Alan isn't going to know what hit him!! 😉. I understand your reluctance to continue to have a financial tie to the bawbag, but don't leave without getting ALL you deserve!

Glad to hear the DC's are going ok and I'm not surprised DD is having that attitude towards him, he deserves her disdain.

Amazing to hear about the clairvoyant!! I'm def going to get a reading done when this is all over.

Please please let us know when Alan makes an appearance! Love to you three

OP I have thought about you in recent months.. I'm so glad you're okay.. and I too am rooting for you and the kids