Dating thread 174 - where we remind everyone of rule no.13

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

This is why Bumble is always the best one but the men can be a bit dry. Tinder seems to be more silly/entertaining. POF is just fucking awful. I have literally just a list of sweaty potato heads one after the other. One has called himself TerryTubby

I'm not dating (I'm married) but can I still try to give advice on this thread? Happy to review profiles if anyone would like. Also happy to leave alone if this is supposed to be only for daters! I often thought it might be an interesting job to be a dating coach, but I doubt many people actually make a living that way.

Newbie here....mind if I join?
Just dipping my toe into OLD - I'm mid-40's.
Starting with tinder, I'm not looking for hook-ups (yet ) and am ideally looking for a Ltr but don't know to put that in my profile.
How do I filter out the one night standers?

Maybe I can share former dating stories to join in the spirit. I once went on a date at a bar where someone grabbed my date's handbag and ran out the door. Half of our date was us going to the police station to report it. Didn't manage a second date.

I’m ok for my profile
I don’t have loads of photos and have none with filters. One body filter. All clothed

My profile is a reflection of me, without trying to hard I don’t keep revising it. Also short as people don’t always read it. I am silly so mine is a silly profile and usually has something niche in it for a talking point. There is nothing worse than having no talking point to start with other than ‘hey how are you’ but this is often because there is no talking point! If I see a profile that says ‘I have 2 kids and work for my own business, own hair 5’11’ then this is so bland and generic there is nothing quirky that stands out. But if you put something you like doing or eating which is quirky, this will often draw in more convo points

@fastliving

If you are on a site that asks you, like bumble this is already on your profile so you can just choose relationship
On tinder I don’t put anything about what I want, I just filter out those who are very obvious. If they want ONS sex they will make it obvious early on as they want to meet/ask for pics/get you onto WA

*one full body shot not filter!

My tinder profile is just four selfies, just normal, fully clothed, no duckface pouting.

Then I have emojis to show my interests, cba to write much! And I mention on there I'm divorced with two kids. I think it's ok? No idea though

@Sunshineandflipflops all good thank you. Just spent a lovely weekend together and I came very very close to dropping the L bomb but got cold feet. But anyway... it's becoming less of an emotional rollercoaster and we're getting on really well. Off for our first 'holiday' together in 2 weeks, not really a holiday just a 3 night break in Barcelona, but both looking forward to it.
Glad to hear things are still going well for you and MrAd 👌
@shitwithsugaron not much to add other than I agree with what others have said regarding MrB, clearly tonight should be an exception but is actually just part of an increasing pattern. And sunshine was spot on in terms of how he should have replied rather than turning it back on you. Sorry if it sounds like I'm just jumping on the bandwagon to diss him, but think you deserve better 😉

Mr Polite came back to talk to me of his own accord this evening, and he’s warming up! 😍

But Mr Local and I have so much in common, it is really weird. Same music same films, same tastes!

Thanks @Menora - I don't do pouting or semi-nudity so I will probably put the 'fast' boys off

Mr Local sounds great!

@Ant330 Glad all is going well and hope you have a lovely break together.

@shitwithsugaron I’m not 100% up on what has gone on but I had a fizzler like this but I let it go on for 18 months! Was such a waste of my life I really regret it

Haha @shit, must keep reading the rules.

I'm relatively new but hello to all newbies

@shitwithsugaron you've been one of the major contributors of support to this thread during my time on here so I don't think you need to worry about taking a bit back 😉
But your plan sounds like a good one, you're not forcing it which might cause an extra effort on his part, but just seeing whether he's able to do it on his own rather than relying on you to make the running. Sounds sensible, fingers crossed for you 🤞

@shitwithsugaron I think that's the best thing to do, see what he does and there's your answer. I hope he sorts himself out and makes the effort

Hi @Ant330, pleased to hear things are going well with MsHair and glad you worked things out with her, you two clearly had a connection from the start.

7 months in and I'm still absolutely smitten with MrC and he likewise, in fact more than ever. Neither of us are perfect, but we get each other. He's very thoughtful and considerate and I also think he's bloody gorgeous, he still makes my stomach flip. I'm really proud to be his girlfriend and feel very lucky to call him boyfriend (that makes me sound about 14!) He's a great, genuine guy with a good heart and soooooo glad I went on that second date with him when I was on the fence about sacking him off 🙈.

Sounds like a plan @shitwithsugaron. Go back to basics - if MrB doesn't realise what a good thing has got in you, he's a fool. It's not game playing, just setting out your expectations from the relationship. It has to be give and take. Sometimes your person needs to take more than they give because that's life and sometimes it will be you taking more, but you can't be the one always doing the giving, you deserve better than that.

A quick check in from me to say I've had a couple of atrocious dates and then yesterday a quite good date with someone I'd never usually have gone for. It was all very spur of the moment - I was bored and swiping, we exchanged a couple of messages, he said why don't we meet in 20 mins for coffee, which I quite liked. I'll call him Mr Hospital. He has a lot of the qualities I'm looking for....I'm really trying not to repeat past mistakes so I'm trying to be much more rational this time around.

Mr Polite has been very brave and just asked me out for a drink
I turned it up a bit tonight with humour instead of British politeness and although no real deep serious chats, he seems to be a nice (can I say normal?) person so far
This would be my first date in over a year. Eek

Where do people go on a 2nd / 3rd date ? First one was for a coffee but as it was in an evening was 2 hours sat under the worlds brightest lighting in Starbucks 😂

Hello new thread

I posted briefly on the last one, I’ve cancelled my coffee date this week because I have too much work on. So much so I think I ought to probably stop attempting to date until after Christmas but then I replied to three pen pals anyway this evening and then had an out of the blue message from mr gorgeous but not very talkative (bit of a long name?!) saying he should be free a week on Saturday if i am. I might make the effort for this one, but he tends to drop off the radar and really isn’t very chatty so we’ll see!

@Jane1978xx to a pub for something to eat maybe?

My one and only first date a few weeks back was at quite a fancy restaurant, I think I struck lucky! No second date but really good food!