Dating thread 174 - where we remind everyone of rule no.13

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Maybe it’s me but I’ve seen friendships and relationships lost over who sent a last text or didn’t follow up on something. He might have thought he had messaged. Was the last message a question.

Oh he def knew he hadn't replied because he immediately said he'd been really busy. But he's been online all evening. I'm not going to throw it away just yet but will follow bang s advice and let him do the work from now on.

@bangheadhere40 you haven’t made a mess of anything. When it’s right it will be easy and fun. This guy just wasn’t.

@bangheadhere40. Honestly you will be fine. Do you have some friends who would go and look for real life men with you ? 😂. That’s my plan over Xmas.

@jane not really 😔 couple of good friends but one is very poorly and one lives miles away. Don't work with any women to suggest a night out or anything, so pretty much not x

Where do you live ?

Cumbria x

@Peanutbuttermouth that’s exactly how I’d feel after texting 😑

@Peanutbuttermouth is he a big football fan ? Lot of games on tonight could have been busy with that.

Yes I remember now it’s quite out the way really isn’t it. I live in north wales but near a few big towns. Maybe try and get a friend down for a night or have you got sisters or female cousins etc.

No siblings, and no cousins 😔

I remember the elderly aunt groping first date @Ant330. 😂 I'm glad things are still going well with MissH.

I agree that everyone has probably overinvested in or even just wasted a lot of time and energy on a pen pal on OLD. It's alarming how many people on there seem to just want that. It's so easy to do, and as @MoreNiceCereal says, so easy to project all sorts of hopes onto someone just through messaging.

When I first met my horrible ex he lived 3 or so hours away from me. And he didn't have a car. It was stupid and I ended up doing pretty much all the running. It was t worth it and I should definitely not have bothered. It might have been different if he'd liked me enough to actually put himself out - but I don't think he ever did.

You could meet the friend who’s miles away somewhere with nightlife for a night away or have her over with you and go out locally?

Yes get a travelodge somewhere. Liverpool is a great night and not massively far or head to Blackpool be a guaranteed snog there. The Friends I go out with now are either neighbours or mums from school. My old friends are too far spread

He has just asked ' can I just check we are not talking anymore? If that's the case I will leave you alone, no hard feelings '. Do I just say yes that is the case or what!

@jane1978xx what teams were playing tonight?
@bangheadhere40 "yes that's the case, no hard feelings" Next!

What a stupid question 😂. Can you just block him ?

I said yes that is the case, no hard feelings, take care.

Sounds a bit “cat and mouse” to me.
He’s said he’s not keen due to distance, and he’s only asked if you’re “talking” which is a bit weird - sounds like that’s all he wants to do.

Is he worth your headspace? A pp said earlier, tell him you’re here to meet people, So if he’d like to meet up then let’s set a date.

See how he responds.

Told him I'm on here to meet people in real life and have a relationship, not asked him to set a date as I don't want to be knocked back, again

Sounds perfect.

Sounds good. When I said something similar to someone I got told I wasn’t nice 😂. Big kids men are (and probably women)

Peanut something I can help with 👏 Spurs and Man City in Champions League and there were a few Championship matches on as well.
From a blokes point of view, I can spend a lot of time on WA as I coach kids football so could appear online s lot but not be in contact. However, it doesn't take a minute to send a quick message saying you're busy doing something and will text later when finished.
If it was just this evening I'd say you're only 5 dates in so does he need to explain what he's doing and why he hasn't messaged? But 48 hours and no contact doesn't sound great, as I say a quick message doesn't take long.

Bang this guy is really messing with you
In all honesty I think he is liking the attention