Dating thread 174 - where we remind everyone of rule no.13

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Let us know !! It would have been easy enough for him to say he had to work or something 🤷🏼‍♀️

Mr S is in a mood with me today, just really discussed how our days have been and I didn't really have much to say. He has been with family all last week and I feel like I have barley spoken to him but I haven't moaned at feeling like I was being a nuisance calling him. I mentioned what I did yesterday and how it was a weird day with me having anxiety when I never usually have it then my ex calling me last night when I haven't spoken to him in 8 months and he gets in a mood and off with me. I expected him to be supportive not in a mood. Hopefully he will get over it and everything will be fine. Wondering if I was too premature buying his Christmas present and that I will have to return it. I'm going to call him later when he gets back to his and see how his hospital appointment went. Feeling really down now. I'm hoping it's just a blip and everything will be fine

unambiguous just dashing in to say I agree with Tiger. I've DTD on a first Fab meet but normally it's been a social as Tiger described. Good luck!!

I think most people get in a bit of a mood with the important people in their lives family and friends etc. It’s the ability to leave it and move on that’s important.

Ah I'm going off the idea. He keeps sending selfies. I can't stand that. It's so bloody self obsessed. And talking about stockings. I told him I wasn't having sex tonight and he wasn't listening to me and he backed off but he's being a bit much. I do t think I can be bothered. I might see if he'll meet for a quick coffee later in the week and see how I feel then but not feeling it atm. I've also got a cold sore (yeah thanks again mr U) so there's not going to be any snogging anyway.

Yes what @Jane1978xx said. It's ok to have disagreements it's how they are resolved. See what happens next @Dancerinthemoonlight

@unambiguousbeard I wouldn't like selfies either!

Mr Straight came back, he was completely upfront....said the distance is a problem for him, but at the same time he can't stop thinking about me and really enjoys talking to me. He says he is sorry for giving mixed signals, but he feels conflicted with himself.

This is why we need to meet eachother, we could meet and it all be pointless anyway!

@unambiguousbeard. He sounds a bit over keen to me 🤷🏼‍♀️ But maybe give him a chance over coffee

I have felt ok as I realise I have no control over the situation, nothing I can do is there, execpt try and not think about him so much. It's not my issue here.

@dancer, that sounds a bit horrible of him, see how he is later x

@bangheadhear40 did you tell him
You are stopping messaging ?

@shitwithsugaron That's a really passive aggressive text (at the last minute). He's made you the problem (you need to not be upset and, by extension, unreasonable) rather than him (I can't be arsed coming to see you and I can't even be arsed to explain why properly). Regardless what his MH issues are, this is not a nice way to treat you.

I agree that you should just not be available on Thursday. Why should you do all the running? It's not cutting off your nose to spite your face; it's saying that you are not centring your life around someone who can't even be bothered to give a decent reason for letting you down (again).

I bet he wouldn't treat his friends this way. In fact, you know he doesn't. He ditches Monday night with you for them and tells you that you must be understanding (you unreasonable woman, expecting anything from him).

Genuinely, I think you deserve better than this.

@jane I did originally, but then he came back after that.

I think he is genuinely confused, and doesn't want a penpal etc...but is completely flipped out by the distance. I may be wrong of course, but I don't think I am.

and he didn't come back all nice as to keep me as a penpal, he was honest with me.

unambiguous if you’re not feeling it then postpone, he’s getting overheated by the sounds of it which is offputting, like a randy puppy. I would see if he can calm down then meet at another time like grownups

It's like he wants to meet me, just carry on, but he is trying to stop himself.

He said he is too invested in our chats, and it's not right that he is this invested. I think he's trying to talk himself out of meeting me, that's my opinion.

unless of course he is the most manipulative man I've ever come across with what he is doing - but I don't think so.

Acting like a randy puppy is definitely offputting @TigerDater. 😂

@bangheadhere40 What's the distance/time travelling wise, do you both drive and do you both have children that you also have to work around?

bangheadhere40 he is manipulating you a bit. Possilbly not intentionally, but you were clear that you didn't want a penpal. At that point he should've agreed to meet you or said goodbye.

However, I know how difficult it can be to let go when you feel like you have a good connection with someone.
And there are people on this thread who've made it work over long distance. But he has to meet you first.

Randy puppy sounds about right 😂.

@bangheadhere40 as much as you think you know this man you don’t. You may be sorely disappointed on meeting him (or maybe not). It either needs to be let go or Make the effort to meet even if it’s a coffee to see if it’s is worth it.

He is 100 miles away ( about 2 hours drive). He has his kids pretty much full time, I have mine about 2/3rd of my time. We both drive.

Unsurprisingly my missing Bumble date didn't show up today.
I had a nice coffee and a chat to some random strangers instead. No point in trying to speculate what happened.
OLD is just too weird at times.
And my record of zero dates from Bumble in 4years still stands.