Dating thread 174 - where we remind everyone of rule no.13

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

He probably is a bit @EchoElephant, but not deliberately.....

I know I don't know him, that's why I want to meet him for myself really to see if there is anything there or not.

I explained that I wanted to meet him at least to see the other night, then it finished with me saying I don't want a penpal etc.

He came back the next day....explaining everything. I need to leave it up to him if he wants to meet me I think.

@bangheadhere40 Honestly? I'd say based on that, wish him well and move on, unless you're looking for a FWB arrangement when the kids aren't around. Quality time spent together will be so hard to come by and a 2 hour drive isn't something that you can just do at the drop of a hat - it means getting there well into the evening after a long day at work/sleep overs/early starts to get back home for kids. Of course it's doable, but you've not met yet and there must be guys who live closer to you that you can start chatting to?

for you as well @EchoElephant - no point even trying to work some people out.

Thanks @jeSuisPrest....

Unless something magic happens and he decides to put the effort in I'm just going to cut it all back. It would probably be easier for me if he either made the effort or just left me alone.

and I can't discuss FWB at all - he seems like a very respectable man, would probably be disgusted.

Can you video call him ? You should get a good impression of him from that ?

When I met up with mr Friday he was not like I’d made him to be in my head. He looked the same and spoke the same but It didn’t fit together. Prob for him as well which is why he was cagey on meeting again. And there was nothing wrong with him at all and he was prob even nicer in real life but it just did not gel. So meet or ditch but I don’t think he’d let you fade away. Do you text morning and good nights ?

I agree with @JeSuisPrest there must be men nearer. 2 hours is way too far so I get where he is coming from. It's just unsustainable. I know @MoreNiceCereal is v long distance but he at least comes here for weeks at a time.

Although I guess maybe there's not a lot of choice in the Lakes. Which may be why Mr Lakes is still messaging me....

Yeah mr Turk is very over keen. He keeps trying to get saucy over text and I keep slapping him down. Very randy puppy. I'm not averse to a bit of sexting but we have to have met. He lives very locally to me. I can't think of a decent excuse not to meet tonight though. I've told him once today already that we're looking for different things. That calmed him down. I don't think I can be arsed with dating. My tinder is off now so I guess I'll just keep chatting to the matches I have but I'm not swiping.

Oh @Jane1978xx you're putting me off even more. The whole texting good morning and goodnight thing! I just can't be doing with it.

@Jane1978xx we haven't text much today, but over the last week have been texting constantly almost throughout the day. He just seems so interested in me, is completely honest but is holding himself back. It would be easier for me if he just didn't text me.

as I know I have been getting carried away, which is pointless.

@unambiguousbeard do you think you will meet Mr Lakes?

I think the technical term for what I'm doing is 'flogging a dead horse' :-(

So I am down to two irons , will try and meet both in the next week or so then I’d Thats a no go I’m done until new year , no more new messages.

So mr gray I am meeting tomorrow but no plans been made and he seems lovely but very flaky. 😂. And writes one huge message a day.

Mr beard I found again on Pof when I rejoined and he seems keen but he works long hours and he lives a bit away but his work is near by. We message a lot and it’s very easy but I’m trying not to get over invested.

Good luck Jane, I think you are right keeping your options open. Maybe Mr Gray doesn't have as much time as Mr Beard, but making more effort by his 1 long message.

Well I might once the weather improves if we're still in contact. I'm always up for a visit up there. But it would only be a possible one off. Nice to have the possibility though... and the day dream. And he's actually the right age!

@bangheadhere40. Say you like him but you are on a dating site to meet people. And shall you try and meet even for an hour in the next few weeks

Yes options ! They have different types and Jobs and home set ups which is why I think the messaging differs. It’s been less than a week to be honest and I’ve not met either so early days 😂. Doesn’t help ex h is messing about on having dd and his ‘weekends’ are as much of the weekend as suits him so it might be 7 or 8 on a Friday I loose that night . Obviously I’d have my daughter 100% of the time but it’s annoying.

I don't know why he is so adverse to meeting me at least!!! I think he assumes everything will go amazingly, and then it will be hard if we can't see eachother. That's what he has said before, we may not even like eachother though irl. x

Well that the risk but what happens otherwise message until you die 😂😂

I don't want to be that woman, boring the thread in another few months still going on. I need to meet him or ditch him basically. Unless he ditches me first, which would take the decision away from me and may be easier.

how do u guys date if u have little free time? my ex doesnt take my daughter on regular set days. I can arrange an overnight stay with my parents once a week but that's prob it.

my evenings are lonely once shes in bed. I just want someone to cuddle on the sofa with lol

should I give up until shes older?

He needs to stop messing you about. Yes ldr isn't easy or necessarily taken lightly, but if he's this risk averse for a coffee he probably is a bit of a damp squib overall...

I swap babysitting time with friends, or pay a sitter. Obviously can't afford it all the time, which is why occasionally seeing Mr G also suits.

@morenicecereal....I'm not after a damp squid! you are probably right, it's a coffee, and he is too scared to even do that.