My husband has celebrated my anniversary with his friends

[Alakazam89]

Hi this is my first time posting. I am foaming I live in Spain and my husband has had to go to the uk for work so I am in Spain with my 3 year old son who is ill with bad flu and my 9 month old daughter also ill with flu and I am ill too. Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary and my husband who went to visit his cousin today got offered to go to the restaurant we used for our wedding day and he said yes so whilst I was talking to him he casually drops in noname offers me to go out for dinner on him so I sed yes and told me where they where. He knew it was our anniversary and I am foaming how can he possibly think that I would be fine with him going to our wedding restaurant for dinner on our anniversary with his cousin and her bf whilst I am hear and when I complained he said what do you want me to do sit at my mam's and look at the wall to be honest I thought yes compared to that that's exactly what you should be doing I am soooo angry am I in the wrong?

Yabu.
You are in different countries. He is probably reminiscing about his wonderful bride. It's not his fault you aren't having the best day.
Let him enjoy it

Ps: I hope that you all feel better soon

YABU and riding

I think you are being a bit unreasonable to be honest, it's just a restaurant, an anniversary and his family. I'm sure he'd much rather be there with you! I do understand how you can feel a bit put out though, it must be hard being without him, looking after the kids , being tired and not being able to celebrate together. Why don't you book somewhere nice for when he gets back so you can look forward to it? Whereabouts in Spain are you? I know some lovely restaurants I could reccommend.

*ridiculous

Yes, I think you are in the wrong. While it's rubbish that you are at home with ill children on your anniversary, your DH is in another country. Do you expect him to sit in and be miserable just because you are fuming?

YABU - you sound quite jealous

Hmm it seems that this isn’t about the restaurant. Is it more that you’ve moved to another country (presumably for his job?) you’ve no family and support close by, now he is getting to swan back to the uk on the work dime, see friends and have a lovely time while you’re stuck in another country, holding the babies and feeling homesick?

Thank you but I still think he could of went anywhere but there and he knew that it was going to upset me and that's y he dropped it in the conversation not actually told me he could of went anywhere else or just said no

You're foaming?

You are being a bit ridiculous expecting him to sit and stare at the wall.
It was insensitive of him to have gone to your special restaurant without you though.
It's crap being ill with children to look after.
Is there anyone you can ask to help?
I hope you feel better in the morning.

YABU. Seriously. He must be walking on eggshells around you. What a nice gesture from his cousin, thoughtful.

YABU. Why don't you want him to have a nice time?

@BaronessBomburst why was he insensitive? If OP was there he'd be taking her with him.

He's in another country for work
Yabu

The wall thing was just a joke Ur taking it to serious I do think that staying in at his mams with his brothers instead of going out is not much to ask and trust me there is no eggshell in my relationship

you sound quite jealous

What a pointless statement

Tell him to FaceTime you from the restaurant and it'll feel like you're there with him

Honestly? You need to get a grip. And it's quite telling that you consistently call it 'my anniversary'. It's his too.
He's in a different country to you and you don't think you're asking too much of him to stay in the house.
Controlling much?

I think you are being a teeny bit unreasonable, probably because you're ill and stressed.

However, he was a bit of a git to tell you where they'd gone.

Yes I am jealous that my husband who reminds me about our anniversary a week in advance is at our wedding restaurant 3 years later with his cousin and her bf no one see this as a kick in the teeth he has the full of Newcastle and he picks that one place when he has plenty other places to go a simple no would not of killed him and not upset me did he even thin k of me when he said yes ? And he knew it would upset me that's y he never told me he dropped it in the middle of a conversation instead of just saying and I was talking to him and within 20 mins he went from someone house to the restaurant and didn't mention it untill he was there

You are totally overthinking this. Get your favourite food delivered, look at your wedding pics, Skype your DH and remember a lovely day.

Why would it upset you though? Aren't you glad it holds nice memories for him, makes him feel closer to you maybe?

Why do you want him to stay in and do nothing?

Why is it a problem he remembered your anniversary a week ago?

You might not think there's any walking on eggshells going on but I bet he does.

Oh dear, just let it go. If you have an otherwise happy marriage this is just not an issue.

I can't bunderstabd why you are upset at all.

If he wasn't away and had decided to go out without you - yes, something to be annoyed about.

But he is away for work, has to eat any way, is beong treated by his cousin (and how nice for him to see family) and they are going to what is presumably a nice restaurant.

I'd be jealous that I was stuck at home unwell with unwell kids, but also pleased for him that he was having a nice time.

What I don't understand at all is being annoyed with him for it, wanting him to stay at home, or go somewhere else.
It seems very weird to me, and hopefully you are just fed up and unreasonable because you are unwell, and this wouldn't be your usual viewpoint.